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Original poster

He says he loves his ex

33 replies

Itllbeallright · 14/09/2023 17:55

We've been together for six months and get on so well and he says he cares about me, but I told him I love him and he admitted he still loves his ex. I'm heartbroken. Is there a chance this will change?

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 14/09/2023 17:57

Would you really be daft enough to hang around and find out?

You aren't the one. It's over.

ItsADoggieDogWorld · 14/09/2023 17:58

He shouldn't be in a relationship with anyone while he's still in love with his ex.
It's unfair, and if I were you I'd be taking a step back. No one wants to be someone's second choice.

Belleweather · 14/09/2023 17:58

I'm not sure what to say, except at least he was honest. My ex was not honest and it resulted in a 30 year relationship of me never being sure and breaking up 8 or 9 times. Terrible stress for our daughter and my family and friends, and me. And him. Take some space if you can. You don't need games or guessing or dreading. Thinking of you x

MsDogLady · 14/09/2023 18:11

@Itllbeallright, this a terrible blow, but it’s best to know before further investing in this imbalanced, dead-end relationship. You’d be very foolish to stick with him.

Original poster
Itllbeallright · 14/09/2023 18:14

It's difficult to understand because he broke up with her because he wasn't ready and he's not even seen her for over a year. It seemed like things were going well.

OP posts:
IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 14/09/2023 18:16

He doesn't love you. Don't stick around and look like a mug.

ConnieTucker · 14/09/2023 18:17

IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 14/09/2023 18:16

He doesn't love you. Don't stick around and look like a mug.

This. He doesnt love you and you are his safety net. He is using you to keep occupied until his ex has him back. Move on. Dont waste more time.

Dery · 14/09/2023 18:18

He sounds like an avoidance addict. He broke up with his ex because he wasn’t ready for commitment but hankering after her stops him committing to you. That said, if he wasn’t ready with her, why did you think he would be ready with you? He sounds like a mindfuck.

Aquamarine1029 · 14/09/2023 18:21

Every second you stay with him is just wasted time. He has been very clear that you are not the one. There is no future with this man.

clockwatcher247 · 14/09/2023 18:29

My ex-fiance said to his next girlfriend that she would never replace me. They did eventually marry and are still together (getting on for 30 years). Was she just a safe bet? Perhaps she doesn't care. It's not fair on yourself if you'll always be wondering. The right one would be a sure thing and you'll know when it happens. If I were you, I'd move on.

Wouldyouguess · 14/09/2023 20:29

Maybe he broke up and regrets, and maybe she would not have him back but he still lusts after her. At any rate, I once went out for a few days with a guy who was still in love with his ex and you could tell it was going nowhere, you will always be a consolation prize, so up to you if you feel comfortable with the idea of being second best.

PosterBoy · 14/09/2023 20:31

Avoidant attached personality.

Usually ends up with anxiously attached - is that you?

Olika · 14/09/2023 20:32

Why are you still with him? You should have ended it when he said it.

MariePaperRoses · 14/09/2023 20:33

Perhaps he tried to get over her by seeing someone else but after being with you for six months he has admitted he isn't over her.

Time for you to drop him like a hot potato as you are not anyone's second best!

Find someone who has you as their number one.

Kimten · 14/09/2023 20:34

...meanwhile, you'll do as hole to stick it in, though.

Dump this loser.
Seriously.
There is no other way forward.
Don't be a mug.

Dotcheck · 14/09/2023 20:35

Ew.
He’s told you that so that:
1 - you will break up with him, or
2- so he can keep you on the back burner, but cheat with her if the chance arises. He can then tell you that you knew he loved her, so you can’t be mad.

This is not a good man- he’s ok with wasting your time. No respect.

LastHives · 14/09/2023 20:39

Believe him.

Specso · 14/09/2023 20:52

LastHives · 14/09/2023 20:39

Believe him.

This

orangegato · 14/09/2023 20:54

How will you ever move past it? If he changes his mind you’ll a always be wondering if he’s wishing you were her.

Fuck it off right now, it’s not salvageable.

Original poster
Itllbeallright · 14/09/2023 21:15

It a makes sense really. We get on so well but he's not treated me like a proper girlfriend and I know he did her. He's kept her photos and he doesn't have any photos of me. I've been stupid.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 14/09/2023 21:16

You're a placeholder, op. Want more for yourself than this. End it right now.

YoSof · 14/09/2023 21:21

You haven’t been stupid, you trusted him.

You would however be stupid to stay with him now.

Original poster
Itllbeallright · 14/09/2023 21:32

Well I suppose so. He said he didn't see a future with me because its her that he loves and he says he's sorry. I said if he loves her he should have stayed with her and he said she was the right person at the wrong time. Charming.

OP posts:
garlicandsapphires · 14/09/2023 21:48

Absolutely leave him right now and chalk it up to experience. You’ve had a lucky escape!

Original poster
Itllbeallright · 14/09/2023 21:51

He already broke it off.

OP posts: