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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Only Fans

60 replies

WhoWhereHow · 13/09/2023 20:07

What's your view on your DP viewing/using OF?

We've been together for 7 years and have a good sex life (or so I thought!)

I was on his PC earlier today (with his permission) and found three OF links within his history. All 3 women look nothing like me.

We've never spoken about OF or porn in general really so it's not like he's stepping over my boundaries but equally, I would never pegged him as one for watching OF (do you watch? Look at pics? Not sure of the right language) in the middle of the afternoon when I'm upstairs cleaning.

This is my first sexual relationship for a variety of reasons and I have no idea what my boundary should be. I do feel a bit uncomfortable/weird about it but I don't know that it's a red line.

Any advice? How would you respond?

OP posts:

Hawkins0009 · 14/09/2023 18:51

Funngames1 · 14/09/2023 00:04

Lots of comments saying there is 'free' porn online. Nothing is free. You pay via advers and the cookies and tracking it puts on your PC.

thats very true, big data etc

blahblahblah1654 · 14/09/2023 19:02

It's a platform for dirty buggers.

Disturbia81 · 14/09/2023 19:50

Nah bin him OP, it's prostitution. You are in for a life of insecurity. Many men are not like this and ruled with their dicks.
Why does he need to look at it.. he doesn't. He will never change, once a sleaze always a sleaze.
He will turn it around on you guarantee it..

Original poster

WhoWhereHow · 14/09/2023 21:30

Thanks everyone. I'm feeling increasingly off about it all and it's good to get the views of others

OP posts:

Linnalis · 27/05/2025 13:22

If someone’s claiming they’re not earning much from it, keep in mind that understanding OnlyFans fees and commissions is key—20% goes straight to the platform before anything gets paid out. Plus, creators often spend loads of time messaging, promoting, and making content. It’s not always the quick money people assume, and for many, the return isn’t huge once you factor in all the effort.

IsThePopeCatholic · 27/05/2025 13:31

Why are you cleaning while he’s on OF? Give him a duster and tell him to move his lazy arse.

dontcomeatme · 27/05/2025 13:36

He might have some weird fetish like licking toes or something and he doesn't want to subject you to that so he pays some random woman to lick her toes on camera 🤷🏻‍♀️ just saying. Careful what you wish for lol

SirRaymondClench · 27/05/2025 15:12

Zombie thread

GarbleGarble · 27/05/2025 15:40

WhoWhereHow · 13/09/2023 20:31

Thanks both.

He definitely isn't using our joint account for it - just had a look through. So if he is paying for it, he's doing it via his own funds.

Trying to work out if the weird feeling is my own insecurity. I have no idea what he pictures/thinks about when he's alone and I don't think I should have any rights to know.

Then again, if he is interested in people who look nothing like me, should I be concerned?

I wished I hadn't seen them tbh.

I'm a man, and I watch porn. I don't want to derail the thread with all the inevitable posts about what a dreadful human I am, so I'm out after this post.

I just wanted to address this bit though

"Then again, if he is interested in people who look nothing like me, should I be concerned?"

No, this isn't something to worry about in my opinion. Most men don't have a "type". Most men find a wide variety of women attractive, and just because the women he watches in porn don't look like you, doesn't mean that he isn't attracted to you

KitsyWitsy · 27/05/2025 15:44

I have no general problem with porn however, I see OF and suchlike as a bit different. They are more specific and interactive with one particular person I think. Maybe, I'm wrong. I wouldn't like my bf interacting with a specific person for sex stuff. That's over the line for me and I am very permissive.

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