I’ve been with my bf 2.5 years. Last week I introduced him to a colleague. She said to me in front of him that she doesn’t know how I manage to raise a child (not his) and work and succeed in my career. She said she’s in awe of me and then asked something like “what’s the secret?” My bf butt in and said “having a nanny is the big secret.” I felt so hurt by this. My nanny spends only 3.5h a day with my child. I do all cooking. She doesn’t cook. I get my child ready for school, I do the laundry. I cook breakfast lunch and dinner. Nanny’s sole job is to collect my child and bring her home safely and warm up her dinner. It makes me feel like he doesn’t respect me and instead of championing me (especially first time he met my colleagues) he basically made a hurtful comment.
Am I overreacting?
Another thing is that I work very long hours. I applied for this program recently and instead of supporting me he sulked that I’d work more. I also got some tattoos for the first time (very discrete) and he said I used to be elegant and classy and now he has to look at my awful tattoos all the time. When I said that’s not ok to say he said well I tell him if his haircut doesn’t look good so he’s entitled to do the same. I don’t ever say it like that.
I feel he hates me but I’m not sure bc every time I try to end it he comes crawling back.
On Friday he had a go at me bc I didn’t remind my child to say bye to him as she left for her dad’s for the weekend. Yesterday I spent an hour with my friend on Zoom (overran by 50 mins) helping her train to be a therapist (she wanted to practice some techniques) and he got mad at me and said I left him alone all evening when I’d initially said it would take 30 mins. I don’t get why it’s such a big deal… he sulked off to bed.
I left an abusive marriage several years ago and I’m confused if this is another one of those relationships.