20 and 40 year old women

[OkNotOkInbetween]

I can't see to post normally so trying this

This is the only way I appear to be able to use Mumsnet this morning.
sorry about the pics

Bump.

please

It’s a massive age gap and the older woman should trust her judgement and back off as it has clearly given her the ick. I don’t know about the grooming thing beyond that.

It's a big age gap but I don't see how it's grooming.

Grooming involves deliberately seeking out someone vulnerable and manipulating them.

I wouldn't advise pursuing the relationship as it's such a big gap, but that said, it can work out for people. As long as they're both aware of the potential power dynamics and mindful to avoid the traps of that, they are both adults able to choose.

I read your thread this morning, not sure why you've posted it again. I don't consider that grooming but it's not going to be a sustainable relationship. I knew of two women the same ages who were together. It didn't last long. The older woman eventually found it boring being out with her girlfriend and friends, all literally just out of their teens. 20 year olds are very different to 40 year olds, and much more immature. There's not going to be a great deal in common for long.

@MermaidEyes where did you see my post? Because I've been trying to post all morning unsuccessfully.

@OkNotOkInbetween it's in Relationships topic. There's several replies!

To be fair I think Mumsnet is playing up today because I've seen other threads which have posted several times.

@MermaidEyes you're kidding?? I can't see them and they aren't on "my threads"
either!

are you able to screen shot the replies for me?? 🙏🏻

Older woman should go with her instincts and not follow up a relationship. Too big an age gap.

It is a big age gap but it's not grooming. It would be fine if both parties were happy but they're not, so the relationship should end.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/20-and-40-year-old-women-1 Link to another of your threads if that helps.

I think it’s just a case of mistaken identity, as you said at the outset - a genuine mistake whereby they both thought they were closer in age than they actually were.

If they’re both into each other then they can give it a go, but I would highly highly highly doubt they would find enough in common for it to last beyond the 18 months-ish hot flush. And hot flush being pertinent here - they’re both at totally different life stages and from totally different cultural backgrounds (in terms of generational stuff).

I don’t think there’s anything necessarily untoward going on though, unless you haven’t told us the full story.

I’d just say they should both jog on.

I can see the other thread now, thank you!

There are many wide differences in relationships, background, upbringing, education. Mostly where there is an imbalance they burn out early.
Between 2 women it often depends if they agree about 'coming out'. Do you know how both feel about that?