It does take a kinda ‘spiritual’ person to kind of understand some of the things I’m going to say.
I just need to get this data out somewhere.
I know what wrong and right is.
If anyone has done any work regarding soulmates/twin flames etc, this will all make sense. Not so much of this is new to you.
My situation - I’m with my partner (2 kids 11 +6) and am only staying for my kids and because it is easier.
We run businesses together and although I would happily still run the businesses together, I know he would struggle to cope.
I’ve never been attracted to
my partner. Ever. We met whilst I was on rebound of heartbreak 11 years ago.
The rest is history.
Is it poor of me to keep staying? Absolutely, but I’m thinking of my kids happiness.
We don’t ‘shout’ or scream at each but do have a lot of different options and small arguments.
I always make sure the kids are unaware or do not hear disagreements.
To cut this short a little, although he works a lot of hours of the businesses, there wouldn’t be any businesses if it wasn’t for me, therefore making me the breadwinner.
He tricked me into thinking he was financially stable when we got together.
2 kids later and I discover he’s in £££ of debt and hasn’t paid his taxes for 10+ years.
I was left to pick up the pieces from that with my accountant…
I done absolutely everything.
the house. The kids.
the school stuff.
cook dinner.
he won’t even clean the toilet after his been 🤢
I also manage all the finances, and am trying to clear the debt built up from having to bail him out a million times.
Now he is a good man in the sense that he puts the hours in, and isn’t abusive etc but honestly, I have absolutely had enough.
Its a feeling of… I want a partner whom can at least pick up some of my slack or remember at least one For me!
deep down he knows I’m tired of it all.
we even went to counselling once so I could try and get my point across and I remember leaving the session thinking, I still felt the same.
I decided to trust him to pay ONE bill. The council tax.
2 months later and bailiffs are at our house from the council demanding the money PLUS the fees.
ONE BILL!!!! We had the money!! He couldn’t even be bothered to do that.
it’s like he has no sense of urgency or responsibility.
Now… to the soul mate stuff…
Theres a married man… (yes … I know… )
We have connected, just clicked. I feel him looking at me. I can’t stop thinkiNg about him all day and night and this has been going on close to 10 months now.
We only rarely converse face to face at certain meetings and very rarely alone. Also converse more via message but it’s always ‘professional’.
I don’t want to ruin his life… that isn’t the plan.
But I just cannot understand myself!?
He doesn’t necessarily look okie someone I thought I’d like, he’s got a very happy life and then certain things occur,
- making conversation in a room full of others with ME only.
- catching him looking at me
- see that he engages with my social media stories and updates
… there’s more i can’t remember them all but all these scenarios lead me to think he probably does fancy me to some extent.
I didn’t just decide I liked him, it was a built case of undeniable scenarios.
Now, nothing is planned to happen with this guy and I don’t wish to as I’m not here to tear apart families and I believe I’ve made him ‘realise’ or at least ‘try’ with his marriage (he’s been married 20+ yrs) as he, out of blue started sharing his ‘love’ for wife, updating profile pics that literally haven’t been touched for over 10 yrs etc… just seemed a bit odd.
Also before the last few updates above in the last 6 weeks or so, prior to this he was liking, commenting etc on my stuff but completely ignoring posts his own wife had tagged him in…
which I thought was a bit odd.
Anyway, ya know how they say you physically look a bit like your true love, well we look alike.
It’s like I’m drawn to him.
I want to stop this charade before I say something stupid and fk up my life completely.
So thanks for reading everyone, I just really wanted to get this all off my chest.
I don’t have any best friends or close friends as they all couldn’t cope with my business success (so weren’t true friends after all…)