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Original poster

Going out on your own when you have no one to go with

52 replies

PenelopeUlysses · 05/09/2023 21:28

Anyone done who's single this? There's a gig this weekend, going to ask a few mates if they want to go but doubt they will.

Everyone I know is attached, skint, uninterested, coupled, etc

OLD is not my thing. They're no in person classes or hobbies nearby.

If you don't advise this, what can you offer as the alternative?

OP posts:
ThingsWithEyes · 06/09/2023 07:14

I'd recommend it!

Oysterbabe · 06/09/2023 07:16

Go to the gig. When I was single I often went to the cinema or theatre alone. Now I'm not, I still do sometimes. Last year I booked an afternoon off work and went to a matinee while the kids were at school and husband at work.

Loubelle70 · 06/09/2023 09:44

My ex was the same. Never wanted to go out...unless i organised everything. Got fed up with that, started going alone. Was tired with organising everything, holidays start to finish,daytrips, nights out, meals out etc. I thought stuff this im tired, he can organise odd time if he wants to be with me, never happened. Just went alone, hated it initially was a bit lost but now i love it! And...we are not together now, showed no initiative. Mama syndrome

TitInATrance · 06/09/2023 09:56

I go to gigs on my own, arena or pub-sized gigs. I’ve only ever attracted attention if I’ve set out to do so or look way out of place (eg in pub wearing cocktail dress for the late hours club meet later).

plan your exit and route home, and look confident.

Loubelle70 · 06/09/2023 10:18

^ this

mindutopia · 06/09/2023 10:36

Of course you can go out alone to an event you enjoy. I'm happily married, but with children and no alternative childcare, dh and I can't really go anywhere together outside of school hours. So we do things separately! Dh will ask friends to go do something, but I can't be bothered, so I do things on my own - I'll go to the theatre, go do some sort of event, I travel on my own, go for meals on my own (when traveling/working away, not usually at home as too expensive if I can eat at home). It's lovely and freeing.

SnapdragonToadflax · 06/09/2023 10:57

I go to gigs on my own and I'm in a relationship. It's great, it means you can do what you want - don't have to see the support if you don't want to, leave when you've had enough, stand where you want.

I also go out for dinner on my own, to the cinema, stay in hotels on my own, go to museums, everything really. I enjoy my own company. I obviously do go out with people too, but I find being on my own very relaxing.

EverybodyLTB · 06/09/2023 11:03

Definitely just go alone! I have always started off with a group of friends and we all get lost almost straight away anyway. I go for meals by myself all the time, plus theatre, cinema etc and really enjoy it - I don’t see it as sad but rather as one of life’s great pleasures. You can get really good theatre seat deals for a single ticket, I love going to the theatre and a slap up meal with a good book, all by myself. Shake off the social conditioning of it being sad or whatever, you’ll have a great time.

GarlicGrace · 06/09/2023 11:13

Go!

I do all the things by myself. Started in my late teens, carried on through two marriages and I ain't stopping now. It's honestly better than having to compromise with someone who wants to do different things (or nothing). I even used to go clubbing on my own, just to dance.

I'm so old now that people did think I was "brave" at first but, by the 90s it was perfectly normal. Just don't take any stuff you can't keep hold of, unless the venue has a coat check. Have fun!

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 06/09/2023 11:13

Regularly do theatre, museums, trips, concerts, cinema and holidays alone. The only pain (which I came across recently) is theatres not allowing booking of a single seat if it leaves one single seat in the row; they'd rather leave two seats empty than sell one, it seems.

Notthrilledatthatidea · 06/09/2023 12:40

@PenelopeUlysses please go! I'm currently sat eating lunch on my own. Just returned from 8th holiday alone. I've just booked london for new years eve on my own! And I am LOVING my life! The world is your oyster!

I wear a £10 diamond on my ring finger so if I recieve any advances I flash the ring saying someone's already beat you too it im afraid!

Other than that, keep an eye on your drink and have fun!!!! X

chocciecake · 06/09/2023 12:45

I'm married with kids and plenty friends but with them being married with kids too they are not as available as we all used to be. Last year I went to a club night on my own and really enjoyed myself. In the past when single, I have been on a working holiday, beach holiday,to gigs, restaurants and cinema , if you want to do it, why should having no-one to go with stop you?

nogracias · 06/09/2023 12:48

I'll often go to gigs alone despite being married. If my husband isn't interested it's not a problem.

Maddy70 · 06/09/2023 12:48

I love going to gigs by myself. I went once out of necessity and then had somuch fun I frequently go by myself. People always talk to you at a gig. You're not alone for long but also don't have to stand where they want etc

AnneButNotHathaway · 07/09/2023 06:43

I'd go no question and had the time of my life there. You really shouldn't be depriving yourself of fun things just because you have "no one to go with". You have yourself and you want to be there, this is enough!

WrylyAmused · 07/09/2023 10:50

Yes, do tons of things solo.
By choice - have partner and friends who I socialise with too, but I like the freedom & spontaneity of going alone.

Museums, theatre, gigs, cinema, lots of classes/workshops, walking, cafes etc.

Only time it's ever been slightly odd was restaurants in the US, where overly-friendly wait staff and other diners couldn't believe I wanted to eat alone from choice and had brought a book that I was actually more interested in than talking to randoms!

Have a wonderful time!

QueenBitch666 · 07/09/2023 14:15

I go to gigs alone. Once you're there you'd wish you'd done it years ago

Bobbotgegrinch · 07/09/2023 14:33

Love a gig or the cinema by myself, and will quite often hop on a train and go wander round a new town for a day by myself if DP is working. Also love sitting in the pub with a good book for a few hours.

I am however a man so understand that there are safety aspects that I don't have to worry about that others on here do.

TheGirlFromTomorrow · 07/09/2023 19:43

Bobbotgegrinch · 07/09/2023 14:33

Love a gig or the cinema by myself, and will quite often hop on a train and go wander round a new town for a day by myself if DP is working. Also love sitting in the pub with a good book for a few hours.

I am however a man so understand that there are safety aspects that I don't have to worry about that others on here do.

I have never really had any safety concerns. I regularly drive to other cities for the night to go to a performance. I've been to several festivals completely alone too. I've never felt in any danger.

The only place I avoid is London because it's such a nightmare to find parking close to a venue.

Tootingbec · 07/09/2023 19:48

Do it! I used to go on holiday a lot on my own when I was single. Used to join small group adventure holidays - had a blast. I am now married but go to the cinema and “events” (like special screenings or talks) on my own if the thing I want to do isn’t something I think anyone would be interested in.

Sayut · 07/09/2023 19:48

Gig will be fine. I went to London for a couple of days on my own recently. Did a gig and theatre. It was great travelling alone. Been to Barcelona and Prague too. I like my own company.

FoghornUnicorn · 07/09/2023 19:54

I’m married but once flew over to Dublin on my own to see a gig. Ended up chatting to a lovely group of women who took me under their wing and then I got to stay in a hotel by myself that night. It was so much fun, I felt like Macauley Culkin in Home Alone ordering ice cream room service!

Bobbotgegrinch · 07/09/2023 20:22

TheGirlFromTomorrow · 07/09/2023 19:43

I have never really had any safety concerns. I regularly drive to other cities for the night to go to a performance. I've been to several festivals completely alone too. I've never felt in any danger.

The only place I avoid is London because it's such a nightmare to find parking close to a venue.

Show quote history

I suppose safety might not of been the word I was looking for. I was thinking specifically of the sitting in the pub with a good book.

Whenever I've mentioned it to female friends, they've always pointed out that there's no way they could do that, as they wouldn't get through more than a couple of pages before a man came and bugged them.

And then I was watching The Change and Paul Whitehouses character did exactly that and I figured it's obviously not all that rare!

DoomsdayPrep · 07/09/2023 20:24

I go out on my own all the time. Talk to strangers! It can be an advantage to be a woman on your own!

sheeplikessleep · 07/09/2023 20:24

I’m a regular gig goer and went solo for the first time recently.
Nervous before I went but loved it when I was there as could just suit myself.
Id do it again for sure.