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Original poster

Meeting somebody late 30s

32 replies

aspoonfulofcoulda · 04/09/2023 12:23

I'm 36 and have been single for a few years now... I just have a sinking feeling that I'm never going to meet somebody. The apps are helpless, I have a good social and work circle but it's just not happened for me. Can anybody give me a bit of light and share stories of when you did meet somebody in your late 30s and it worked out.. and how you met? Facing a life alone is not something I can think about right now. Thank you Flowers

OP posts:
ShellySarah · 04/09/2023 12:56

Do you want children?

I didn't meet anyone and won't have children now as it's likely I'm too old early 40s.

I enjoy my life though.

Whataretheodds · 04/09/2023 12:58

Met mine IRL through a shared hobby when I was 37 but didn't get together until 18 months later.

If you want kids, research solo mum by choice. It'll help to crystallise what's important to you.

Meanwhile, make your current life one that you are in love with - move where you want to live.

Original poster
aspoonfulofcoulda · 04/09/2023 13:18

Thank you. I do want children but for various reasons, doing it solo is not something I want to do.

OP posts:
hittingtheshelves · 04/09/2023 13:30

I've heard a lot of good things about tag rugby. It seems to be the place to go for single people in their 30s who would like to meet someone and are fed up of OLD.

BarnacleBeasley · 04/09/2023 13:41

I did! Met DP at a work event I nearly didn't bother going to, both aged 35. I only went to the social bit afterwards as I hadn't had anything to eat and thought there might be crisps. Now early 40s with 2 DC.

baileys6904 · 04/09/2023 13:53

Yep, got together with my OH at 37. Someone I'd worked with years before, and just got back in touch over a mutual friend commenting on a photo he'd posted on Facebook which came up in my news feed so I added him and we started chatting. Been with him well over a decade now, merged families and still laugh everyday.

Couldn't imagine being with him and this is defo my forever person which I have never been able to say before. I actually think there's more benefits meeting someone when older, to be honest.

Original poster
aspoonfulofcoulda · 04/09/2023 16:54

Thank you, two lovely examples!

OP posts:
YYURYYUCICYYUR4ME · 04/09/2023 17:08

I was 35 - a work colleague I'd never met at anything other than a meeting, but with whom I chatted most days, as we dealt with the company's insurance claims. One day he asked me out with 'as we spend so much time chatting on the phone, do you think we should meet and chat?'. We did, that was 26 years ago and married for 19.

AtalantaX · 04/09/2023 17:21

We met when I was in my forties and DP in his sixties, we were neighbours…it became friendship first but we both had a deep sense of belonging with each other from the word go, to be honest. We’ve been together nearly twenty years; every day has been a blessing.

I know it can be hard, but please try not to feel too disheartened, you never know what is round the corner for you. My DP had actually been single for fifteen years before we met, and I’d only had unpleasant relationships before him and never felt lovable or seen. Could you try taking up a new activity?

AuntieEsther · 04/09/2023 17:23

I met DP at age 38 through his relative who was connected to me professionally. 5 years later we are getting married in 2 weeks :)

username0202 · 04/09/2023 18:00

I'm in the same situation as you OP! Have u tried OLD ?

username0202 · 04/09/2023 18:00

Oh sorry I've seen that u tried OLD !

occhiazzurri · 04/09/2023 19:06

I am afraid I don’t have positive stories to share per se but hobbies and sports in particular seem like the only way to meet people IRL at this age. So your local gym, running club, climbing gym, tennis league etc are worth trying.

Original poster
aspoonfulofcoulda · 04/09/2023 20:33

Thank you all, some really nice posts that have given me a bit of hope and ideas. I might try and join a club of some sort, or a gym. Thank you

OP posts:
Orbitold · 04/09/2023 20:36

hittingtheshelves · 04/09/2023 13:30

I've heard a lot of good things about tag rugby. It seems to be the place to go for single people in their 30s who would like to meet someone and are fed up of OLD.

I love this answer!! Excellent. I’m going to do tag rugby too.

Yettisrus29 · 04/09/2023 22:23

hittingtheshelves · 04/09/2023 13:30

I've heard a lot of good things about tag rugby. It seems to be the place to go for single people in their 30s who would like to meet someone and are fed up of OLD.

Oooh do the men look like proper rugby players? I always think I should join the local rugby club even as a non-playing member, it would get me out amd meeting people!

Strawberriesandpears · 05/09/2023 13:44

I am 36 too and met my boyfriend earlier this year online. I think he is 'the one'. I had never actually tried online dating until the very start of this year either, so with a bit of luck, I think it can be done! Maybe try and match with someone who shares similar hobbies. That's what got us talking initially.

Wishing you all the very best OP!

Strawberriesandpears · 05/09/2023 13:46

@BarnacleBeasley "thought there might be crisps" That made me laugh! 😂

BarnacleBeasley · 05/09/2023 13:50

@Strawberriesandpears there were crisps! But I think they were those Sensations ones that actually aren't that nice.

AnythingILike · 05/09/2023 13:56

Met my husband via tinder. I was twice divorced (no kids) and 35.

No I never expected to meet someone serious via tinder but there we go 🤣

Strawberriesandpears · 05/09/2023 13:58

@BarnacleBeasley Ah! Well at least it was worth going anyway, even if the crisps weren't so great! 😂

Littlemisslonley · 05/09/2023 18:34

Strawberriesandpears · 05/09/2023 13:44

I am 36 too and met my boyfriend earlier this year online. I think he is 'the one'. I had never actually tried online dating until the very start of this year either, so with a bit of luck, I think it can be done! Maybe try and match with someone who shares similar hobbies. That's what got us talking initially.

Wishing you all the very best OP!

Sorry to jump on OP which platform did you use OLD? I've tried a few but I always get matched to someone ages away even though I set my prefences to closer to me...20 mins drive sort of thing

Strawberriesandpears · 05/09/2023 19:07

@Littlemisslonley It was Bumble.

Littlemisslonley · 05/09/2023 19:08

Strawberriesandpears · 05/09/2023 19:07

@Littlemisslonley It was Bumble.

Thank you I'm so happy to hear things are going well and you think he's the one for you 😊

Strawberriesandpears · 05/09/2023 19:12

@Littlemisslonley Aww thank you. I hope you find your 'one' soon too!