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Original poster

Freudian slip?

59 replies

Overthinkin · 03/09/2023 20:51

For context been together 9 years, in this time I have only been on the pill or copper coil.

The other day while talking about possibly TTC, he said "maybe you can go get that thing taken out your arm" he knows I have the coil, it's been mentioned many times, he's joked about pulling it out himself.

Why would he say this? When he saw my confusion he quickly checked himself n told.me not to overthink it. I left it a couple days but it's still on my mind.
I asked him about 10 mins ago why he said it, who did he know that had it? n he got all defensive saying he doesn't know, turning it on me like I'm being unreasonable.
Wtf? This doesn't seem like a normal mistake.

I said he'd never tell me anyway if there was anything to it, he told me to fuck off.

I don't feel like I'm overthinking it

OP posts:
TrainedByCats · 03/09/2023 21:55

I think you’re right to wonder if he is having another relationship where she has an implant in her arm from that comment, but that is not the comment that is the biggest 🚩here

he knows I have the coil, it's been mentioned many times, he's joked about pulling it out himself.

I know you say he was joking but he’s joking about doing something that could cause you extreme pain and serious physical damage Angry

GreenAventurinee · 03/09/2023 21:56

I’d think it was an ex

ErickBroch · 03/09/2023 22:00

Just sounds like his ex prob had one. You don’t trust him at all if you’re worried about him going to the shops. Relationship sounds terrible. Time to end it.

AmazingSnakeHead · 03/09/2023 22:01

Aquamarine1029 · 03/09/2023 21:36

Life Rule #1...

Never stay with, or have a baby with, a man who tells you to fuck off.

HTH.

This is genuinely an amazing rule. I wish someone had told me this when I was 18!

OP it sounds to me like you were other thinking, but his reaction was Terrible.

AutumnFroglets · 03/09/2023 22:09

It doesn't matter if his ex had one, or he read about it, or his friends gf has one, and I suspect if he had just admitted he didn't know why it popped into his head then I doubt you would have continued to ask.

It's how he tried to shut you down, followed by an aggressive FO. That is the problem. I wouldn't have a baby with someone who said that to me. Imagine how he would react to a toddler with their multiple whys.

AMuser · 03/09/2023 22:11

Why are with someone who even jokes about pulling your coil out, who cheated on his previous partner who has his child - let alone considering TTC. Do better, honestly.

Original poster
Overthinkin · 03/09/2023 22:24

Thank you everyone for your responses, I appreciate each viewpoint

OP posts:
Anotherparkingthread · 03/09/2023 22:44

It's almost certain that his ex had the implant. What other woman would he know that intimately? Even if he was cheating I doubt they sat down and had a conversation about contraception beyond 'do I need to stick a Johnny on it?'

The coil thing I see as a joke, he likely didn't mean harm or even know it could cause harm being removed clumsily. I imagine it was to express eagerness to go ahead with trying for a baby.

The fact he's a proven cheat is the actual red flag here. You clearly dont trust him. you need to sort that out before you bring a child in to the mix.

Aworldofwonder · 03/09/2023 22:46

It would startle me yes. If none of his exes had it it can't even be explained away with reminiscing recently.

I don't know why PPs are calling you insecure and suspicious. I can't think of any reason why a comment like that would trip off his tongue unless it's been a topic of conversation elsewhere. It would be like if I casually made a joke with my partner about waxing his balls when he never does then backtracking.

Original poster
Overthinkin · 03/09/2023 22:59

Aworldofwonder · 03/09/2023 22:46

It would startle me yes. If none of his exes had it it can't even be explained away with reminiscing recently.

I don't know why PPs are calling you insecure and suspicious. I can't think of any reason why a comment like that would trip off his tongue unless it's been a topic of conversation elsewhere. It would be like if I casually made a joke with my partner about waxing his balls when he never does then backtracking.

Thank you

OP posts:
CPLawyer · 03/09/2023 23:02

I'm naturally suspicious but would think my partner was just being stupid and forgetful if he said this.

Ofcourseshecan · 03/09/2023 23:11

Aquamarine1029 · 03/09/2023 21:36

Life Rule #1...

Never stay with, or have a baby with, a man who tells you to fuck off.

HTH.

I agree.

EarthSight · 03/09/2023 23:34

Overthinkin · 03/09/2023 21:43

He cheated on his ex who he has a kid with, alot.
I know I shouldn't have stayed with him when he told me this.
I believed I could be enough for him, that it would be different for us blah blah blah

But it's there in my head, I know he's capable

Show quote history

Bloodyhell OP. Think very, very carefully before having kids with this man.

pinkyredrose · 03/09/2023 23:41

It tripped off his tongue because he's been talking to someone else about thier contraception, that's how I'd see it.

Who and why is the question.

Original poster
Overthinkin · 04/09/2023 00:11

pinkyredrose · 03/09/2023 23:41

It tripped off his tongue because he's been talking to someone else about thier contraception, that's how I'd see it.

Who and why is the question.

This was my thought

OP posts:
Purditnin · 04/09/2023 06:03

Overthinkin · 03/09/2023 21:31

I don't question everything he says, this just really stood out to me, I can't see why he'd say this? Other than if there was someone he knows/knew who had it.

He said he doesn't know why he said it, I want to believe him but my heads all over. Things have been good lately between us but haven't always been.
He said he knows he hasn't done anything but isn't that a typical thing to say?

Other than if there was someone he knows/knew who had it.

Why would this be a problem?

C1N1C · 04/09/2023 06:17

My wife has tried multiple birth control methods, and even now I do sometimes forget which ones she's currently on, but that's just me.

But ten years of the coil, and he so brazenly mentioned something in your arm... and to then get defensive about it? That doesn't sit well with me.

Personally I'd do a bit of digging. If you're worried, buy a tracker and put it in his car, which might actually offer peace of mind if there's nothing. It could just be an old associated memory with an ex that had one and him simply forgetting your method was the coil, but if I made that, I'd actually just own up about it and say "oh I forgot yours was the coil, all my exes had the implant...". I wouldn't make a big deal about it.

always2323 · 04/09/2023 06:46

Goodness me! He probably just mixed up implant and coil! And so what if he knows some one who has then implant. You're sound like your getting worked up over absolutely nothing

NotNowGertrude · 04/09/2023 06:59

I would also be very suspicious about this comment

I had it when my ex was cheating on me, comments would just slip out which made no sense & I got anger back when I questioned him

I agree with others choosing the wrong man to have a child with will impact the rest of your life, please proceed with caution

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 04/09/2023 07:00

Personally I'd do a bit of digging. If you're worried, buy a tracker and put it in his car, which might actually offer peace of mind if there's nothing.

Absolutely do NOT do this! It’s literally my job to work with people convicted of domestic abuse and this is one of their offences. Don’t do it! Not worth the conviction.

I agree, considering his history and that he tells you to fuck off (another form of abuse by the way), you have reason to be suspicious. These reasons alone would have me running and never considering TTC with this man. Please want better for yourself.

jallopeno · 04/09/2023 07:03

I'd assume he was thick and didnt understand how the coil works

Ýsette · 04/09/2023 07:14

C1N1C · 04/09/2023 06:17

My wife has tried multiple birth control methods, and even now I do sometimes forget which ones she's currently on, but that's just me.

But ten years of the coil, and he so brazenly mentioned something in your arm... and to then get defensive about it? That doesn't sit well with me.

Personally I'd do a bit of digging. If you're worried, buy a tracker and put it in his car, which might actually offer peace of mind if there's nothing. It could just be an old associated memory with an ex that had one and him simply forgetting your method was the coil, but if I made that, I'd actually just own up about it and say "oh I forgot yours was the coil, all my exes had the implant...". I wouldn't make a big deal about it.

It's illegal to track somebody's car, just incase you weren't aware HTH

C1N1C · 04/09/2023 07:37

@Ýsette

Actually had no idea about this... it's so often said in here! Yep, ignore me :)

But still, I suspect something is going on...

LaurieFairyCake · 04/09/2023 07:40

Are you married?

It's not illegal to track your own car...

If he goes to the shops multiple times a day I'd find that really suspicious Confused - I'd be following him to find out where he's going

Lisheens · 04/09/2023 07:48

Aquamarine1029 · 03/09/2023 21:36

Life Rule #1...

Never stay with, or have a baby with, a man who tells you to fuck off.

HTH.

This. This is the concerning bit, not whether he’s forgotten or misunderstood your contraception. Some men aren’t that bright — is it possible he thinks a coil goes in your arm?

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