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Original poster

Husband following woman on Instagram

40 replies

Graciejade · 02/09/2023 09:11

Just wondered what peoples opinions are on this …

I’ve only recently noticed my husband follows round about a thousand people on Instagram and the majority of them are woman. They range from Z listers from love island who just post constant bikini photos, to woman he met whilst working a summer abroad, to girls we have met on holiday over the years.

I have no issue with him following woman I’m friends with or woman that we both know, but I’m not too happy about the rest.

He’s promised me he doesn’t follow woman he slept with or got with whilst he was abroad, just the woman he was friends with, but I don’t get why he needs to keep in contact. We’ve been together 15 years, so it’s not like he’s going to meet them again.

He’s said he’s not getting rid of woman because his feed would be ‘boring and gay’ if it was just full of men. He said I can follow who I like and it’s not real life.

He’s obviously attracted to these woman otherwise he wouldn’t want to see photo’s and updates on what they’re up to.

He’s also said he doesn’t message any of them to keep in contact. I’m thinking if you’re not going to keep in contact or ever meet again, what’s the point in having them on there.

Am I just going over the top?

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 02/09/2023 09:14

The whole point of Instagram is to follow people, see what’s going on in their lives. You are insecure and I’d suggest you work on it, or you’ll tie yourself up in knots.

TedMullins · 02/09/2023 09:15

I can’t imagine caring who my partner followed on Instagram. Even if he is looking at bikini clad women, so what? I follow attractive male celebrities and models who post semi nude pics too

Original poster
Graciejade · 02/09/2023 09:17

I don’t follow any ‘celebs’ who post topless photos etc as I think it’s disrespectful.

OP posts:
Disturbia81 · 02/09/2023 09:25

Weird first answers.. Of course it's not right. I wouldn't like this, it shows he's a sleaze. There are TONS of men out there who don't feel the need to do this. Dump this one

Original poster
Graciejade · 02/09/2023 09:29

We’ve been together 15 years but this is only the 1st time I’ve started to notice this kind of behavior.

OP posts:
saffronsoup · 02/09/2023 09:32

If no one followed anyone who posted topless or in a bikini or thirst trap or look at my body posts....instagram would dry up.

Butterfly44 · 02/09/2023 09:34

Graciejade · 02/09/2023 09:17

I don’t follow any ‘celebs’ who post topless photos etc as I think it’s disrespectful.

She didn't say topless, she said semi nude. So I follow dua lipa for example. Always pics of her in cropped clothes, bikinis in feed. Don't see a problem.
You obviously have a difference of opinion.

Disturbia81 · 02/09/2023 10:00

saffronsoup · 02/09/2023 09:32

If no one followed anyone who posted topless or in a bikini or thirst trap or look at my body posts....instagram would dry up.

But she doesn't need to be with one of the thirsty men who do it.

MrsSkylerWhite · 02/09/2023 10:02

DustyLee123 · Today 09:14
The whole point of Instagram is to follow people, see what’s going on in their lives. You are insecure and I’d suggest you work on it, or you’ll tie yourself up in knots”

What a completely pointless, weird “hobby”.

mrsed1987 · 02/09/2023 10:03

I wouldn't have a problem with it. Although my husband doesn't have any social media so have never had to think about it

Heatherbell1978 · 02/09/2023 10:05

'The boring and gay' comment would annoy me. Is he a bit homophobic?

saffronsoup · 02/09/2023 10:17

Disturbia81 · 02/09/2023 10:00

But she doesn't need to be with one of the thirsty men who do it.

Show quote history

I wonder if OP has social media? Does she unfollow anyone who posts a bikini shot or thirst trap or topless pic or look at me pic...

Everyone on her feed is clothed head to toe? Only personal and close friends and no influencers or public figures or old friends?

People use social media differently. They can be with who they want to be but its kind of controlling to monitor someone else's social media and tell them who they can or can't follow based on what clothes they wear.

Eudaimonia5 · 02/09/2023 10:20

You're definitely being silly. Of course an adult man, your husband of 15 years, needs to follow social media accounts of mainly attractive semi-naked women. He's right, if he only followed his male friends and women he knows but doesn't fancy then it would absolutely make him homosexual. Are you actually trying to make him gay? If anything, you should be encouraging him to try to meet up with some of these semi-naked ladies. Could you print their pictures out and stick them on the wall either in your bedroom or your home office (if you have one?) Be more supportive. Get him a little wank den.

Not really 🤣 Get rid of your pervy creep of a husband and either stay on your own or find someone decent. They're not all like that so why put up with it? I bet most of the women he follows think he's a creepy weirdo, it's just embarrassing for you to associate yourself with him. There's no way I could get into bed every night with someone like him, it makes me cringe just thinking about it.

always2323 · 02/09/2023 10:28

It's God dam pervy and we all know it. All of those saying "oh I wouldn't mind" will actually get to a point in their lives when they very well do mind. It is a 20 year old boys game to be slobbering over sexualised photos of women. Not decent grown men who have an ounce of respect. OP tell him to unfollow if not f him right off! If that's his attitude to it, you can bed he's getting himself off over that crap too.

Disturbia81 · 02/09/2023 10:34

@saffronsoup Of course people can follow who they like. And people can decide if they want to be with someone who follows these types of accounts.

It's a red flag to me. I manage to be with people who aren't sleazy, theres plenty of them around. Keep your standards OP.

SallyWD · 02/09/2023 10:39

Why are you saying "woman" instead of "women"? Anyway, sorry that's irrelevant. I wouldn't be bothered if DH followed women but I'd expect there to be a mix of men and women, not 99% attractive women.

Crikeyalmighty · 02/09/2023 10:44

Aw bless him- he wants to be 'a lad' personally I can't stand blokes like this

inisisle · 02/09/2023 10:49

I can't stand blokes like this either.

AnythingILike · 02/09/2023 10:50

My ex-husband did that - kept in contact with a woman via instagram and then slept with her a few times

Once I found out he deleted alot of women from his instagram, but damage done

SweetAndSourChick3n · 02/09/2023 10:53

It's sleazy. Would be a total turn off if my DH did that.

DixonD · 02/09/2023 10:56

Disturbia81 · 02/09/2023 09:25

Weird first answers.. Of course it's not right. I wouldn't like this, it shows he's a sleaze. There are TONS of men out there who don't feel the need to do this. Dump this one

So he’s allowed to follow HER friends, but not his own unless SHE knows them?

She’s being controlling and she is the one in the wrong here.

saffronsoup · 02/09/2023 11:31

Disturbia81 · 02/09/2023 10:34

@saffronsoup Of course people can follow who they like. And people can decide if they want to be with someone who follows these types of accounts.

It's a red flag to me. I manage to be with people who aren't sleazy, theres plenty of them around. Keep your standards OP.

What should a man's standards be for who his female partner can follow on social media?

What about off social media? Should she be allowed to talk to men? To go to the beach where men are topless? Have male friends?

What standards should he have for her to avoid her having any impure thoughts or noticing attractiveness or seeing the skin of another man?

Disturbia81 · 02/09/2023 12:05

@DixonD Eh? Not sure you're replying to the right person?
Nothing wrong with following friends! I'm talking about random young women, scantily clad, OnlyFans types etc

DonnaBanana · 02/09/2023 12:06

Newsflash: Some men like looking at women. More on this story at 11.

Disturbia81 · 02/09/2023 12:07

@saffronsoup What on earth are you on about. Of course all those things are okay. Just not following tons of young women on social media and being a sleaze.
Nothing to do with having female friends or seeing skin, totally normal things in life.