I think he is leaving

[weepingfig]

Ok I know what you are all going to say. So before I start let me say I have no-one to talk to about it and if I don't get it off my chest I may just find the nearest train track an wait for a passing train.

DH claims not to have been happy for years. He has hardly spoken to me for the last year and goes about with the longest face you have ever seen. He snaps at me and the dcs when he is actually here which isn't much as he has a very demanding job and is always deathly tired when he is at home.

I am overweight and he has been moaning about it for years. I desperately want to lose weight (for me actually before you pounce) but just can't stick to diets at all and have given up trying. Also he tells me I am thick and complains about the books I read an the fact that I don't know what is going on in the world ( I don't read the newspapers or payt much attention to the news.)I have a masters degree BTW.

He never talks to me, just communicates through text which he did this morning from the aiport to tell me that, although he is not having an affair, he wants to either get a divorce, live away from home during the week and come home at weekends or jump under a train as he is so unhappy. I have to choose.

He threatened to leave 6 months ago unless I lost weight.

I have been with him for 25 years and it has been like this for the last 3 or so. We had good times before that and I thought he was my soul mate. I just want things back the way they were.

I am now in pieces and have to try and keep things together as my dad, granny, uncle and very seriously ill mum are coming round for a mother's day lunch.

Kids also want to do the whole mother's day thing and I just want to curl up in a ball and weep.

No one and I mean NO NONE knows any thing about our marital problems I have never told anyone and all our families think we are blissfully happy.

I have no friends to talk to about this.

Thankyou for listening.

[weepingfig]

He wouldn't come and if he did he would not talk to me.

He claims that talking never does any good and things will never change (ie I have said I would lose weight so many times in the past and not stuck to it.)

[weepingfig]

He wouldn't come and if he did he would not talk to me.

He claims that talking never does any good and things will never change (ie I have said I would lose weight so many times in the past and not stuck to it.)

[viggoswife]

I dont think it is about the weight. No one can be THAT unhappy about their partners weight. He doesnt seem happy about ANYTHING does he? He shouts at his kids, he seems miserable in all areas of his life and doesnt seem to know why. Yes you being overweight probably does piss him off to a certain extent but it seems to me that he is using it to justify his negative feelings about everything. It doesnt make it any easier I know because there is obviously something bothering him and it sounds pretty serious. What I am saying is please dont take full responsibility for this. It sounds like he is projecting all his negativity on to you.

Personally I would have a bit of a rant at him and tell him that he has to start being a bit more proactive about things if he wants you to make changes. As for living away during the week what will that achieve? I have been overweight in the past and my DH only ever said anything after I lost the weight ie that he was worried I would never lose it because I got so big - I put on 4 stone - I know though that had he nagged me while I was carrying it then it would have achieved nothing except to make me unhappy and therefore less likely to lose it. This is not all your fault.

[ShinyDysonHereICome]

I don't think he is doing your self esteem any good whatsoever. He should love you for who you are not what you look like.

Maybe you need to go away for a weekend together....it will either remind him why he fell in love with and married you in the first place, or make you both realise that you have in actual fact grown apart.

As far as you're concerned, why don't you take an excercise class for starters. Even something like yoga or pilates might inspire you to value yourself as it sounds like you don't

[collision]

Unfortunately Shiny, if he wont go out for dinner then I doubt he would go away for the weekend!

[weepingfig]

LOL!