Boyfriend texting escorts

[Peaches124]

I need help and I’m posting on here because I really don’t know who I should tell about this and talk to right now. I feel sick.

I found messages on my partners phone where he has been asking escorts in the local area to meet up with him.

I have been with him for 1.5 years and we live together but I literally need to live here for my job. My family is in another country and I can’t go back there or afford a flat for myself.

I also really don’t want to lose him either but know that it would be hard to forgive and I’d never forget so trust will be an huge issue. I just need some advice from someone.

I should also add when I confronted him he said he did it because he was “horny” and would never actually meet up with them…

100% leave him. If you can't afford your own flat, find a house share? I always used to read "once a punter always a punter" on here and think "surely not" but someone once posted a link to a forum (think it was UK Punting or something like that) and I couldn't believe the shite they post on there. Tips and tricks not to get caught by their girlfriends/wives etc. It was really eye opening.

This man would not make a good boyfriend/husband/father. He thinks women's bodies can be bought, sold and used for his own satisfaction. He is probably contributing to sex trafficking. He has no concern for his own sexual health or yours. He doesn't care about the commitments he has made to you in your relationship. He will do it again!

I’m sorry op it’s such a horrible situation.

Im married to my husband who cheated on me early on in our relationship. We managed to work through it but he was remorseful and proved it was a mistake. We are in a much better place but it was hard to gain and build up the trust again. Trusting and working through it is difficult and makes you question yourself. I know people will say I’m naive but we did make it through it. I do believe people can change but it really depends on how they react and if they were honest about it in the first place.

I have some major issues with your boyfriend though, he was texting escorts which is horrible in my opinion but it seems like he hasn’t shown any guilt in what he’s done. Saying he’s ‘horny’ is a disgusting excuse. To me id then be questioning why, is being with you not enough? How can you know that he’s not met up and how can you be sure that he won’t eventually meet up with one.

I know you need the flat for work and for money but I would maybe look at flat shares and room mates.

I agree with the previous poster once and punter always a punter,even if it is texts which I highly doubt because escorts are about making money not texting its still cheating bin him OP you deserve better

Leave him OP! No question. Disgusting pig. Find a flat or house-share on your own, if youre working you can surely afford a room somewhere

Sorry OP but this is part of the script from men caught messaging escorts - that they just messaged for the "thrill" and would never actually meet. Just search threads on here for 'boyfriend messaging escorts' or similar and you'll see that they all say the same thing!

I feel for you OP, you clearly are very hurt by this man’s terrible actions, and rightly so. What he has done is cheat on you. You do not know the true extent, how many people he could have met up with etc, and you’ll never get that answer.

I know that you maybe don’t want to leave, but could you do house share? There are more options than living with him. If you were able to stay with him, do you think the relationship would ever feel the same? Deep down, would you always have pain from what he did to you? The excuse of being horny is a dreadful one, he isn’t an animal, surely he can control himself. He might think that your forgiveness is in the bag if he thinks you have no option open to you other than to stay with him, and because of this he will think he can do it again and get away with it again. This is just my opinion on the situation, but honestly, I’d be leaving.

You're only a year and a half in, and he's texting prostitutes. Let's just call it what it is - calling them 'escorts' erroneously gives this type of thing a veneer of class that it doesn't deserve.

If he's texting prostitutes now, what do you think he'll be doing in the next decade if you stay with him? If he hasn't paid for sex already, he might get desensitised to the idea over time and he's already communicating with them now.

I should also add when I confronted him he said he did it because he was “horny” and would never actually meet up with them…

urgh what an animal.

Why don't you want to lose him, I'd have thought that would be a very beneficial option.

Lose him. You deserve so much better.

Go into a room in a shared house. For heavens sake don’t stay with a cheating git just to have a place to stay. Where did you live before you were with him?

His never met up with one of them…….Yh, the sky is also green.

Sometimes the title says it all...

there is no excuse / reason for someone to text escorts. Even if they don't meet them, it's still not OK.

And you will never know if he's met any. Or if he would in future.

If you stay with him, he'll have the green light to do it again, or to push more cheating boundaries, as he knows you'll forgive him and not leave him.

As you say, you'll never trust him again, and without trust there is no relationship.

You deserve better. The logistics might not be straight forward, but please don't stay with someone because it's difficult to find somewhere else to live. You need to separate, find your own place, and move on from the loser.

I used to do some sexting to earn some ££ and believe me, he won’t stop messaging people, he’ll just become better at hiding it. These men were ridiculous.
Find a place to live like a flat share, and find a man who thinks you’re enough for him.

They always say they'd never go through with it. Whether you would or not, you never actually know.

Anyway, let's say he really never would e gone through with it, but does it because he's "horny".

So a. He thinks he had the right to/that's ok for him to text prostitutes while in a relationship if he's horny (and presumably wants to wank). Would he think it was ok for you to text male escorts if you were horny/as a masturbation aid??

3 million porn videos free on the internet of every possible type, but he can't just wank to those .... He has to text prostitutes.

He clearly fantasises and gers off on the idea (at the very least) of using prostitutes.... When does that maybe pass from fantasy into more. Who wants to hang around to see if/when that happens.

B he thinks it's ok to waste the time of often vulnerable, often desperate women, try to use them like a sex line/sx message service for free.... While there trying to make a bob in one of the shittest ways ever? Maybe even make a bob for their gang member pimp. But that's ok for because hes 'horny".

He's not good partner material.

He had no respect for women. He had none for your relationship. He exploits vulnerable people - whether he meets them.in person or not.

Find a house-share or bedsit: you can work on getting a flat of your own in the long term.

Don't stay with a man who behaves like this because you feel like you have nowhere to go, it gives him all the power. If he feels you won't leave however he behaves, then why on earth would he stop?

And I wouldn't believe him about not actually going through with sex with prostitutes.

Get yourself a sexual health check-up.

Yeah, this too.

Escorts and their bookers, if they have them, are interested in getting a punt set up as quickly/efficiently as possible..... They are well.used to time wasters and men trying to use contact with them as a masturbation aid; they haven't got that time to waste, and they don't give free text or phone sex. They'll often make sure their services Re om their adult work etc profile to avoid repetitive conversations a out what they offer, what he can book - just because they're repetitive, but also to avoid literal wankers. They keep it minimal. They point people at the profile.

So he either gets off on "are you available this weekend", "yes/no", "how long for", "one hour""half an hour".

Or he wasn't only texting them, never considering doing an actual punt.

You shouldn't leave yourself dependant on someone for accommodation.

Your situation illustrates why.

(He sounds quite defiant/arrogant too, with his "cause I was horny".
Like he thinks it's no big deal and he's justified. Like he thinks you can like it or lump it).

I also really don’t want to lose him either

Why, he's not a good person or partner.

I would go into a house share.

More affordable and usually has the added advantage of a possible bit of social life.

Also less lonely than living on your own, even if it is just hearing & seeing people around.

Every word of this . Read UK punting , this is how your boyfriend sees women . Leave him or accept this view

Hi I am going through the same thing only I am 3 months pregnant with him. I’m heartbroken and disgusted. We have a perfect relationship and sex life recently got engaged for months he’s been searching up local escorts going back to last year. I don’t know how to confront him about it I feel so sick my family love him too.

@Lou95x sorry you're going through that! If you haven't confronted him yet you have time to snoop a bit more on devices. I'd take pictures of what you find so he can't gaslight you later and make you second guess everything. If you aren't safe with him, go to a friends house and let him know what you've found.

If you have a read through other threads like this on here you'll see that a lot of them say the same things when they're found out, so be prepared for that.

Don't marry that man!

Always with the ‘I was horny/neglected/depressed, it was a fantasy but I haven’t met them bs’

I hate these men. Who think women’s bodies and consent can be brought and steal the right to sexual consent from their girlfriends and wives.

If you stay you will regret it. He will not stop. He’ll just get better at hiding it.

Find a room or shared house, but get out.

Sorry just seen it’s a zombie thread but above poster @SarahP456 wtf are you doing?

How on earth can you think that this is a good man? And even a good man to have around your baby.

He is a nasty NASTY piece of work. Getting out now gives you a chance at finding some happiness for you and for your child.

You need to be your own best friend!