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Original poster

Were you popular with the opposite sex as a teenager ?

101 replies

4lennahcnosloohcsvti · 27/08/2023 22:31

I fully appreciate this thread is somewhat trivial compared to others on here, but would you say you were popular with the opposite sex when you were a teenager say 13-18 years old.

Also how has this experience shaped future relationships you have had ?

Myself I can safely say I was not as when I was at secondary school i had bad skin, had braces and was always told I was fat and ugly and got bullied alot.

Girls always preferred the guys with good skin etc

I feel that this experience has really wreaked my confidence as i have always felt ugly and inferior to others.

OP posts:
Circumferences · 27/08/2023 22:34

No I was not 😂
I was deliberately rebellious though, wore lots and lots of black.
Boys hated me.

Are you male or female btw?

Original poster
4lennahcnosloohcsvti · 27/08/2023 22:35

Circumferences · 27/08/2023 22:34

No I was not 😂
I was deliberately rebellious though, wore lots and lots of black.
Boys hated me.

Are you male or female btw?

I am male.

OP posts:
Whatsthepoint1234 · 27/08/2023 22:39

I wasn’t, didn’t have my first kiss or relationship until uni… dh is the first man and second person I’ve done the dirty with. In my defence I refused to go to school, had mental health issues and have recently been diagnosed with autism. Or maybe I’m just not an attractive person, who knows?

SugarMiceInTheRain · 27/08/2023 22:41

Nope, not at all. I was not very good looking, nor was I in the cool crowd. I was really awkward. I feel like I've spent too much of my life seeking validation from men, including in my marriage.... I definitely have low self esteem.

Most of my friends these days are male, but they are also mostly gay/ asexual!

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 27/08/2023 22:42

Not exactly. I hung about with boys in the year above and particularly one five years older than me who really liked me but he was 19. But cool boys in my year just saw me as a friend

Circumferences · 27/08/2023 22:43

It's a shame you felt rejected at secondary school and this has left an imprint on your self esteem.

As people age they tend to find traits other than just looks preferable, such as shared sense of humour, shared interests, but I would say a person with low self esteem has a harder chance in love than people who sail through life with confidence.

It's tough. I've improved my sense of self worth and confidence over time to feel like I'm worthy of being loved if that makes sense.

SallyWD · 27/08/2023 22:51

I wasn't really popular with boys compared to some of the girls at school. However, I had a fair few boys interested in me over the years. It was usually boys from outside school or in a different year. I don't think I was seen as very cool by boys in my year.

Original poster
4lennahcnosloohcsvti · 27/08/2023 23:05

Circumferences · 27/08/2023 22:43

It's a shame you felt rejected at secondary school and this has left an imprint on your self esteem.

As people age they tend to find traits other than just looks preferable, such as shared sense of humour, shared interests, but I would say a person with low self esteem has a harder chance in love than people who sail through life with confidence.

It's tough. I've improved my sense of self worth and confidence over time to feel like I'm worthy of being loved if that makes sense.

I know, but even in my adult life i have faced bullying for some reason at times.

People can be cruel

OP posts:
ThingyThings · 27/08/2023 23:06

I was voted the ugliest girl in school, so I know how you feel OP!

Original poster
4lennahcnosloohcsvti · 27/08/2023 23:07

ThingyThings · 27/08/2023 23:06

I was voted the ugliest girl in school, so I know how you feel OP!

They really had that vote at school ?

God that is mean to say the least.

OP posts:
aboutbloodytime123 · 27/08/2023 23:08

I always got on better with boys. Didn't work out for me in an all girls school!

NameChangeEmbarressed · 27/08/2023 23:10

I was not popular at all with the boys. I always felt fat, ugly and generally horrible. Short and curvy with curly hair and glasses I did not fit in with the popular girls.

I didn't have a boyfriend or even kiss anyone until I was 17. I ended up marrying him. But he was the same, not at all popular, first girlfriend and kiss.

Still together almost 20 years later:

ThingyThings · 27/08/2023 23:11

4lennahcnosloohcsvti · 27/08/2023 23:07

They really had that vote at school ?

God that is mean to say the least.

Show quote history

Yes, the boys created a list. Like you said, kids can be cruel!

NameChangeEmbarressed · 27/08/2023 23:14

ThingyThings · 27/08/2023 23:06

I was voted the ugliest girl in school, so I know how you feel OP!

I was voted most likely to die a virgin. Kids can be bastards can't they

toomanyleggings · 27/08/2023 23:14

No I wasn’t an attractive teen tbh. I did get some attention but tended to be from opportunistic types that probably thought I was going to be grateful for the attention. Probably has affected me. I always view men very warily and always feel ugly and awkward despite being a much better looking adult than I was teen.

TheOhGodOfHangovers · 27/08/2023 23:16

I remember my (pretty female) French teacher giggling with one of the popular boys about me whilst learning the French word for ugly (“laid” - a word I’ll never forget. Thanks Miss P).
A year later, I was at college and reasonably popular with the lads in my year. The only thing that changed was I no longer had to wear school uniform. I guess bottle green isn’t my colour.

YukoandHiro · 27/08/2023 23:17

Nope! I have shit hair. It's marginally better now I'm older and know how to manage curls, but not much. It's always affected how I look to the opposite sex

Whatsthepoint1234 · 27/08/2023 23:21

YukoandHiro · 27/08/2023 23:17

Nope! I have shit hair. It's marginally better now I'm older and know how to manage curls, but not much. It's always affected how I look to the opposite sex

I was exactly the same, I had what people called the jewfro (I am Jewish) which mixed with being short, scrawny and not knowing fashion if it smacked me in the face made getting a boyfriend very hard.

purpleme12 · 27/08/2023 23:26

No I've never been popular with the opposite sex.
I'm not one of the pretty people.
I don't really feel good about the future, companionship wise.
It's ok now cos I've got my child.

longlostauthor · 27/08/2023 23:29

I was fairly popular with boys but I lacked the kind of confidence that some of my friends had and they were the ones who got all the real male attention. I had very low self esteem and no real sense of who I was and I think this shone through and made me less attractive as, looking back, I was much more conventionally pretty than most of my friends but definitely not the most ‘fancied’ at all.

Skiesfries · 27/08/2023 23:33

God, no. I had bad skin and was quiet and awkward. Never been popular but I managed to find a guy who I married in my late 30s but it's all gone down the pan now. Doubt I'll find someone else now as I wasn't exactly beating them away with sticks when I was younger.

thecatinthetwat · 27/08/2023 23:34

I was, but I didn’t really realise back then as my self-esteem was on the floor. I can see it now, looking back. Can’t quite get my head around it. But anyway it didn’t do anything positive for my self-esteem as I just sort of couldn’t see it / accept it.

DelurkingAJ · 27/08/2023 23:35

No. DM told me many years later she’d worried that DSis (nearly four years younger) would have a boyfriend first. I blossomed at uni and never looked back (to the confusion of some who’d known me when younger). To be fair, in my case it had very much been ‘stunning figure shame about her brains’…hence uni proving easier.

FunnysInLaJardin · 27/08/2023 23:36

yes, very much so, although I didn't always realise!

Had lots of boys trying to tell me they liked me via song, poems etc and mostly remained completely oblivious

Always had a boyfriend tho, so maybe that was why they weren't on my radar!

Escapingtherealityoflife · 27/08/2023 23:39

No. Never had a boyfriend until uni.
Only 2 relationships prior to DH who I’ve been with for over 25 years

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