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Relationships

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Original poster

Were you popular with the opposite sex as a teenager ?

101 replies

4lennahcnosloohcsvti · 27/08/2023 22:31

I fully appreciate this thread is somewhat trivial compared to others on here, but would you say you were popular with the opposite sex when you were a teenager say 13-18 years old.

Also how has this experience shaped future relationships you have had ?

Myself I can safely say I was not as when I was at secondary school i had bad skin, had braces and was always told I was fat and ugly and got bullied alot.

Girls always preferred the guys with good skin etc

I feel that this experience has really wreaked my confidence as i have always felt ugly and inferior to others.

OP posts:

ShutTheDoorBabe · 27/08/2023 23:50

I wasn't part of the popular crowd and I was a bit of a swat so it was kind of uncool for a boy to like me, if that makes sense. I didn't know until I was much older and a lad from school joined my hobby group told me that quite a few boys fancied me.

Being unpopular hasn't really affected my self esteem, I don't think, but I do tend to keep myself in the background and am a bit non-confrontational though.

caringcarer · 27/08/2023 23:56

I was popular with both girls and boys in my year group. I had a lot of boys ask me out. I was known to be very picky. I think boys possibly saw it as a challenge to get me to date them because I'd turned one of their friends down. I had a good group of friends and was very outgoing. I was invited to most parties in my year group. I was very lucky as despite only using soap and water I had a good complexion with no spots. After child birth I moved away with DH and put on weight. When I went back to a school reunion several of my peers looked shocked to see me looking overweight. I still got asked to dance with lots of the men from my year group though.

Angie147836 · 27/08/2023 23:59

I would say I was, quite. I was large breasted and quite flirty.
However I never attracted the attention of the boys I fancied, only their mates! So successful but not very successful IYSWIM.

Maddy70 · 27/08/2023 23:59

I was very popular. I do think it shaped the way I was. I was always confident and that led me to success in business etc. It also probably didn't make me a nice girlfriend I would take boyfriends for granted and at times was a horrible human

junebirthdaygirl · 28/08/2023 00:06

I was popular..in the 70s and did look good...l can see looking back at old photos. However l fell for dh as he didn't have that much interest in me in the beginning and l was attracted by the challenge. That was not a good foundation for a relationship as l didn't appreciate the good , kind lads who were mad about me. We are still
together but it hasn't been easy at times. Looking back l realise the quiet, nice lads were good husband material.

CautiousOptimist · 28/08/2023 00:18

I was popular within my group of friends, but not outside it - we were theatre geeks, and the cool kids thought we were saddos.
Popular with the opposite sex within my friendship group, yes kind of. I was overweight with bad hair (painting a great picture there), but bubbly and good company I guess, which helped.

porridgeisbae · 28/08/2023 00:43

Not until I was about 18, and then it was mostly older guys.

People acted like I was ugly as a child/teenager, then acted like I was attractive in my late teens/20s.

Now in my 40s, people act like I'm really ugly again. But I'm actually quite confident in my appearance based on the attention I got in my 20s.

TheCyclingGorilla · 28/08/2023 01:02

I was the "boy's friend" not getting boyfriends.

I was a tomboy and most girls puzzled me. I hated getting my hair done, putting on makeup and flirting. I was also very very shy and reserved too. I was fine talking to boys about trivial things but I was extremely awkward about talking about personal stuff. Still am, in a way. I blame my upbringing. We didn't discuss sex and relationships at home.

I was pretty but plain, if that makes sense. Not unattractive but too quiet for most boys.

Loopylooni · 28/08/2023 05:46

Not at all. I had my first partner when I was in my early thirties.

I was a bit overweight at the time, very friendly but no one saw me as attractive/gf material. I used to have lots of friends and thought I was fun/good chatty person. One day I got allocated one of the textbooks in class and one of the boys had written comments about all the girls. Against my name it said 'boring'. This was a boy id chatted to at length about music etc. My friend was gorgeous but not very nice yet they fawned over her.

That boring comment has always stuck with me sadly!

Natsku · 28/08/2023 06:23

I wasn't popular with the boys in a romantic way (there were a couple that liked me but I wasn't really interested anyway) but was friends instead with a lot of them.

RantyAnty · 28/08/2023 06:23

Yes, I was quite beautiful. Now I'm an old lady lol

Jackienory · 28/08/2023 07:20

Yes but I went to a private all girls school so it wasn’t until I went onto college for my “A” levels that I mixed with “boys” on a regular basis. I had two brothers and I was good at sport, which helped, but being Scandi blonde and looking fit in swimwear helped more.

I met my husband at Uni and we were married soon after graduating. Twenty years together. Three kids. No regrets.

But it wasn’t always a good thing. I attracted unwanted attention too - and not just from guys. I also had a stalker at one point. I quickly learned to take sensible precautions if I was out out with friends on Friday/Saturday night. Sadly, something my daughters have learned too.

TheWayoftheLeaf · 28/08/2023 08:59

Yes and no. Had lots of interest but lots of the popular boys also picked on me. From about 15 I became very popular with the older boys which... perhaps was not a good thing.

Disturbia81 · 28/08/2023 09:49

Definitely not, get far more attention now I'm late 30s.

SisterwifesofAUB · 28/08/2023 09:51

As a friend...yes. Which wasn't always what I wanted. Sigh.

snowballsinhell · 28/08/2023 09:52

I was

I collected boys like charms, and used them to my advantage - older boyfriends with jobs/cars

It always made going to school fun

I wised up for Uni though and I'm now a boring, married mum of two

Excellent fun. I've some great male friends from those days, and now work in a male dominated environment

Fairycreature · 28/08/2023 10:09

I was extremely shy as a teenager and a late developer. I wasn't popular at all with the boys in secondary school. I felt invisible most of the time. I thought I was ugly, skinny and unfanciable.
However. When I discovered clubbing, house music and MDMA when I was 17 or so I really blossomed and became more confident. I was having sex with lots of different people until my late 30's! Which I'm glad about now- lots of good times and memories to look back on now I'm settled with a DC.

Deadringer · 28/08/2023 10:20

Yes I was quite popular with the boys, not a beauty or anything but I was friendly and fun loving and reasonably attractive. You mention bad skin, one of the most popular boys in my school had terrible skin, he was also short and very average looking, but he was friendly and funny and always had lots of girlfriends. I think it was a confidence thing maybe, he chatted to everyone and was just well liked. I fancied him myself if I am honest. My first real boyfriend had bad skin too actually, didn't put me off, I married him!

Kotaku23 · 28/08/2023 10:35

Nope, I was geeky and started out high school overweight (then lost a lot but unhealthily obsessed) and totally unsporty (in country/school where that was very important). Got told I looked like gonzo due to my big nose by the non-sporty 'cool' arty kids. Looking back by 16 I wasn't bad looking but was perplexed by any boys showing an actual interest. I still misread if people are showing an interest in me!

Fruitynutcase · 28/08/2023 10:39

No because I didn't put out and was classed as " tight" plus I had an older brother who would have sorted them out if they had hassled me .

80s · 28/08/2023 10:45

I wasn't popular with boys (or the in crowd) in school/uni but kept quiet and was mostly ignored. In our year there were one boy and one girl who got the real brunt of nasty bullying. I remember the boy lying on the floor being kicked. I hope he managed to get over it as an adult.

I got a lot of comments out of school/uni about my looks, e.g. "you are the ugliest person I have ever seen". I'd say it was an egg and chicken thing: on one hand the comments made me insecure, but on the other hand people commented because my insecurity made me dress and act differently. Part of the insecurity came from my appearance/the comments, but part of it came from my unstable childhood, with parents who were not equipped to build my confidence.

Have you had therapy? I did as an adult and found it really helpful.

Simonjt · 28/08/2023 10:48

No, not at all, sadly I wasn’t popular with the boys either. I was on a sports team, but I was also very studious, so I didn’t really fit in with the sporty lads.

AllOfThemWitches · 28/08/2023 10:52

Very. I never thought I was 'pretty' until I started getting attention for it.

MerryBeard · 28/08/2023 11:04

No, I'm very very ordinary looking. It never damaged my self esteem. I have always been confident and happy in my own skin and very grateful that in school and out I was able to get on with my own life without unwanted male attention and the seemingly appalling ups and downs that brought my prettier pals.

At school and after I had friends of both sexes and fancied the arse off of the sexiest and funniest bloke in my circle. Very lucky for me he felt the same. I married him and we're still happy together 40 years later.

Carouselfish · 28/08/2023 11:11

Yes. Even with braces, on my work experience I snogged (dates me) the lead in the theatre production I was working on. Looking back, very bad of him actually, guy in 20s.
But yes, annoyingly so as it was before I knew how to handle it really.
Now at 40 something it's finally dropped off and I rather like my new found invisibility though miss the power a bit when I see a stunning man!

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