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Original poster

What am i entitled to? DP cheated.

114 replies

Solitaryasanoyster · 25/08/2023 21:20

Not married, 4 kids (young), some shared equity in the house.
If I leave, and I work 16 hours, do I get universal credit even if I have equity upon selling? Would this prevent me getting a council property?

thank you

OP posts:
SheilaFentiman · 26/08/2023 11:59

Opentooffers · 26/08/2023 11:53

I would of thought that half the mortgage would be less, if anything, than the amount of maintenance exP would have to pay for 4 DC, unless you have a ridiculous sized mortgage. So why sell at all? If there is no equity for him to gain, there is no need.

Really? I have searched a random north yorks village for a 3 bed property, cost was £475k, monthly repayments £2.7k - now, op may (currently, at least) have a better interest rate than this, but also 4 or 5 beds for 4 kids would not be ridiculously big.

HawnyThorn · 26/08/2023 12:00

JudgeRudy · 26/08/2023 11:29

It's a bit harsh yes, but it true.

Show quote history

The position OP is in sucks.

But the alternative that OP seemed to be wanting is that she gets to keep 'all the money she's worked for' while the state steps in to support her and enable her to save more money for a deposit on a house.

And/Or provide her with a council house while she keeps all her hard-earned money and adds to it.

And that's not what state benefits are supposed to do.

MN was full of similar posts during Covid when posters were pissed off that they were losing their incomes but not entitled to state help because they had a lot of savings - often they were saving for a house deposit or house upgrades.

That's not how savings work or how state help should work. Savings aren't ring-fenced for whatever you've intended them for, if you need them to pay for your living costs - that's what they go to.

And I'd be pissed off too - but that doesn't mean OP has been 'screwed over' by the state.

Thelonelygiraffe · 26/08/2023 12:03

TequilaNights · 26/08/2023 08:07

Then take steps to stay in the family home until the children are older as a pp says.
For them, not either of you, they need a stable home.

This.

SheilaFentiman · 26/08/2023 12:03

For three or more children, exDP needs to pay 19% of his weekly gross income, assuming he has zero overnights (unlikely) - so unlikely to be enough, I think

ragingmeno · 26/08/2023 12:07

FreshStart12345 · 25/08/2023 22:09

How regretful is your dp? How is your acting?
Tbh, you are better off dragging him down the aisle, stay married for a year then kick him out because you just can't forgive him. Then you can probably keep the family home and he has to pay spousal maintenance.

This might work. It did for me. Our wedding was just a business transaction in my head by then. Stringed married life for 2 years and when it was time to leave, I left, taking dcs, half of the properties and half of his future pension with me. In my case it wasn't his infidelity, but constant coercive behaviour and him putting his parents and brothers before our children and me.
Revenge is a dish, best served cold.

kittycat265 · 26/08/2023 12:14

BillaBongGirl · 25/08/2023 22:15

Wait lists for a council property are years long. I was reading articles that councils are even running out of temporary emergency accommodation (hostels, hotel rooms) and that families are literally living in tents or cars.

He should leave and if he earns enough, still pay his share of the mortgage until the youngest is 18. You’re not entitled to this, but this is the decent thing.

Depends on location really. I fled DV and was housed within 6 months.

OP UC will disregard for a few months, you can claim during that time. It will give you time to get on your feet. The council may house you if your income is under 16k

You may also be able to stay in the house until the children are older. Can be requested during the divorce.

Good luck

Babyroobs · 26/08/2023 12:15

TheAverageJoanne · 26/08/2023 07:52

I know someone who owns a house outright and gets universal credit and pip. I know pip isn't means tested but you cannot live on equity! How does that work then?

Show quote history

It's fine to own your own home and claim UC. The problem is when you have equity over 16k in a house you don't live in or you receive that equity in cash and then become ineligible to claim UC. If op stays in the house and is somehow able to buy her ex out and take on the full mortgage herself then she will of course be able to claim UC, but it doesn't sound like she can afford to do that.

Charrington · 26/08/2023 12:20

I don’t think the op can afford to depend on cm payments, or her dp paying the mortgage. A debt ridden cheat isn’t likely to be dependable.

Sorry that you’re in this position.

Is your job one where you can get extra hours? Or are you going to have to job hunt too?

ragingmeno · 26/08/2023 12:20

Posted too soon, without reading an update from OP about his debts and her pension. Yeah, don't marry him.
Go through the route of turfing him out (Children Act) and let out 1 room in a house to generate income- though, who would want to rent a room with 4 young children I am not sure. Also, go FT and get UC to cover part of your Child Care costs.
You need good solicitor and solid advice. You can do it!

JudgeRudy · 26/08/2023 12:55

ragingmeno · 26/08/2023 12:07

This might work. It did for me. Our wedding was just a business transaction in my head by then. Stringed married life for 2 years and when it was time to leave, I left, taking dcs, half of the properties and half of his future pension with me. In my case it wasn't his infidelity, but constant coercive behaviour and him putting his parents and brothers before our children and me.
Revenge is a dish, best served cold.

Show quote history

They'd be no benefit to this. Partner has debts and isn't a big earner. The house equity is all OPs. They'd be nothing to gain and everything to loose from marriage

HawnyThorn · 26/08/2023 14:13

ragingmeno · 26/08/2023 12:07

This might work. It did for me. Our wedding was just a business transaction in my head by then. Stringed married life for 2 years and when it was time to leave, I left, taking dcs, half of the properties and half of his future pension with me. In my case it wasn't his infidelity, but constant coercive behaviour and him putting his parents and brothers before our children and me.
Revenge is a dish, best served cold.

Show quote history

Well, she hasn't married him up to now so are you suggesting she marry him now?

Naominumbers · 26/08/2023 14:20

Surely you go full time in your job and ex partner and you cover childcare costs between you.

Shinyandnew1 · 26/08/2023 15:53

kittycat265 · 26/08/2023 12:14

Depends on location really. I fled DV and was housed within 6 months.

OP UC will disregard for a few months, you can claim during that time. It will give you time to get on your feet. The council may house you if your income is under 16k

You may also be able to stay in the house until the children are older. Can be requested during the divorce.

Good luck

Show quote history

As they aren’t married, there won’t be a divorce.

SheilaFentiman · 26/08/2023 17:14

Naominumbers · 26/08/2023 14:20

Surely you go full time in your job and ex partner and you cover childcare costs between you.

OP has stated that she will struggle to cover childcare costs, although the childcare element of UC may help, which other posters have mentioned in line with her asking what she was entitled to

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