Is it ok to ask if I can join the trip

[karlaka]

The company I work for is fully remote and my colleagues are spread across Europe. In March they were planning a trip to Rome and asked me if I wanted to come. I said yes. Some of us were meant to sleep at one of our colleague's place the rest was getting an Airbnb. The colleague offered me to stay at his place. Then I moved apartment and was busy with the move. So I told the group that I might not be able to make it. I then changed my mind and said I would come, but return back home earlier. Eventually, I decided the trip was getting too expensive, so I decided not to go. I let my colleague know who lives in the same town as I do. I never messaged the rest of the group (yes I feel bad about it).

Now they sent a message in the group talking about going to Lisbon in November. I'd be keen to join, but I'm not sure if it's appropriate to ask, after having ghosted them last time.

What do you guys think?

I agree, if it was a holiday with a friendship group that would be different but it was a work trip and dropping out didn't affect anyone moneywise. I don't think there's an issue with asking to go.

I wouldn’t if it meant booking an Airbnb with her if there was a chance she’d not turn up and not pay her share, so we all ended up paying more. I’d also be annoyed if I were the colleague she was meant to be staying with, who presumably prepped a bed and such for her arrival, and had to turn other people down.

In OP’s shoes I’d apologise for Rome, decline Lisbon and stick with that decision, then go to the next trip – sounds like it’s a regular thing.

Apologise to the group as a general apology the way you said you would earlier.

Then am independent apology to the guy that was going to accommodate you, saying "so sorry for not telling you I wasn't going on the trip when you were being so kind and generous. I owe you a big drink (or more!) if you're going to Lisbon."

If I was part of the group going I wouldn't want you to come after your flakiness but wouldn't verbally say so

If you're insistent on doing it, don't apologise and bring it back into their minds.

Just say I'd love to join you all this time, sounds great

You didn't feel comfortable enough to at least messege these people to cancel a trip, why do you now want to go on a trip with them? How can you expect them to now be comfortable around you after you ghosted them?

I know moving house is stressful but it takes less than 5 minutes to send a messege. There is no excuse for ghosting, I suspect you may have form for being a bit flakey in which case group trips aren't a good idea for you.

"Hope this doesn't sound cheeky after all the messing about I did last time, but I'd love to come. I had such a lot on around the time of the last trip, I know I was flakey, and I do apologise, especially to (colleague you should have stayed with). I'm all organised now and can definitely commit. If I don't hear from you though, then I'll assume its not on this time "

I don't think you should apologise now as it's an after thought to you wanting to join this trip.

I think you have just come across as quite flaky which is probably why an invitation hasn't been directly given to you.

I don't think anyone was invited personally?

I'm glad I don't work with some of the posters on this thread (and I don't mean the OP). I wouldn't characterise someone as 'flakey' if they'd missed a social nicety in the middle of a house move. She didn't 'ghost' them, ffs, she just didn't communicate as well as she should (particularly with the Rome guy).

@karlaka I think that is ok. And I think they will let you in with some caveats specially if money is involved this time.
You don't loose anything asking in a natural way so just ask.

They will be specting that you may drop this time again so they won't like to be involved in that, which is understandable as planning groups trips is always a bit of a pain.

“Hey so sorry I was so flakey last time, especially to x who so kindly offered me a bed. Life has settled down again now and I’m back to my normal organised self. Would you mind if I come to Lisbon. I promise I won’t be flakey this time. It was totally out of character for me last time due to the upheaval of moving house and other goings on.”

Have you never communicated with your work colleagues since the last trip, assume you speak about work.