Page 2 | Engagement ring

Maray1967 · 22/08/2023 08:11

DustyLee123 · 22/08/2023 06:30

We shopped together 30 years ago. I wasn’t trusting him with something I was going to be wearing !

Same here!

perfectcolourfound · 22/08/2023 08:16

I don't think I know anyone who didn't choose their own ring. You're going to wear it every day for the rest of your life....it doesn't just need to be something you like, but something you LOVE.

Ameanstreakamilewide · 22/08/2023 08:20

Amsooverthis · 22/08/2023 06:27

How 'normal' is it these days for a couple to shop together for a ring? My feeling is that many couples look together rather than it be a surprise.

My husband was under the impression that I would want an engagement ring with an aquamarine stone instead of a diamond, because it's his birthstone. 🧐

I did not want that. I actually thought that it was pretty egotistical!

Rainsdropskeepfalling · 22/08/2023 08:21

DH designed and has one made for me - complete surprise! I'd never thought about an engagement ring (still don't know anything about jewellery) and would not have been comfortable about spending the money anyway. Probably would have been good if he'd know what size my finger was though.

We bought our own wedding rings separately so they fit.

But I don't wear either very often - I prefer the light, clean feeling of nothing on my hands.

BMrs · 22/08/2023 08:30

We chose together

Onthemaintrunkline · 22/08/2023 08:33

I think my bf then was rather relieved he wasn’t in charge of ring selection and purchase! We’d been looking, I was procrastinating (big step you know😆) I’d seen a beauty. Then soon after I saw another girl on the bus wearing “my” ring🤣, we did get engaged soon after and found a lovely solitaire, there’s a moral there…but not sure what it is! Next year will be our 49th anniversary.

Andrasa · 22/08/2023 08:34

He wanted to choose, but I knew it was coming so we did go to some shops together and try on rings so he knew what I liked and also what he liked, and what size I needed. I also sent him a link to a good online diamond tool that looked at the cut % and angles as that makes way more difference to sparkle than just what’s on the certificate.

probably a bit involved, he did feel a little like he lost out on getting the full experience of choosing and it being a shock, but I’m super happy with the ring he did get and didn’t want him to waste five figures on a ring I didn’t like much. Originally he was thinking about a giant sapphire so I’m glad that didn’t happen! Too big to wear everyday and I prefer how colourless/more plain a diamond is as it looks less silly with hoodie and leggings.

BeeDavis · 22/08/2023 08:43

I’m glad I’m not one of those girls that wanted to pick her own ring. The proposal was a complete surprise, a gorgeous ring, he did really well! I feel sorry for people that don’t trust their OH to buy them a piece of jewellery.

yellowpurplebrown · 22/08/2023 08:50

I told my DH not propose with a ring as I wanted to choose it! He proposed, the next day we went ring shopping, I have a ring that I love!

yellowpurplebrown · 22/08/2023 08:52

BeeDavis · 22/08/2023 08:43

I’m glad I’m not one of those girls that wanted to pick her own ring. The proposal was a complete surprise, a gorgeous ring, he did really well! I feel sorry for people that don’t trust their OH to buy them a piece of jewellery.

Pffft you feel sorry for people who don't trust their partners to choose their jewellery?! I'm sure you do.

Whatyoutalkingabouteh · 22/08/2023 09:00

BeeDavis · 22/08/2023 08:43

I’m glad I’m not one of those girls that wanted to pick her own ring. The proposal was a complete surprise, a gorgeous ring, he did really well! I feel sorry for people that don’t trust their OH to buy them a piece of jewellery.

Same here! Totally unexpected and a beautiful ring. Never crossed my mind that I’d want to chose the ring but maybe I’m lucky he chose well

Bewildbefree · 22/08/2023 09:01

Campervangirl · 22/08/2023 07:12

I hear ya!
It's all about the "moment", no real thought given by the soon to be df that you're the one that's got to wear it.
Exdp bought mine and did the tah dah moment, the ring was horrible (flame me if you wish)
It was cheap (I found the receipt), looked cheap and just not my style.
A solitaire so tiny that you practically needed a magnifying glass to see the stone, I know I sound ungrateful and grabby but I'm really not.
The setting was built up to make the stone look bigger, it looked lost on my hand.
I really hate to say it but I was embarrassed when people excitedly asked to see my ring and then had to put their glasses on.
The tah dah moment was on holiday in Greece on my bday which coincided with the world cup, ex got plastered and was laying on the bed after vomiting and pulled it out and said that's for you then fell asleep 😬
Complete disaster, I was actually glad when I lost the ring, it fell off as it wasn't my size.

Hahah this made me laugh.
I always felt like I would be judged about not liking my ring. I have a similar story to yours. My ex was verbally abusive and I knew he was planning to propose when he was walking around the house shouting “to think I was going to ask you to marry me”
So when he got down on his knee on Christmas day in front of my children it was no surprise. Told me to look in the stocking and when I did there was an empty ring box. Turn around and TAH DAH! Will you marry me to a ring you could barely see. He was a gambler so he probably lost half the ring money! Lol! Though I suppose in our cases, the ring wouldn’t have mattered if the men weren’t arseholes 😂

I was more disappointed that there were no other Christmas gifts as I had spent more on his than my ring was worth and the rest of the day he didn’t come near me. No sex, No celebration. Just bish bash bosh job done!

mondaytosunday · 22/08/2023 09:37

We did 21 years ago.

Original poster

Amsooverthis · 22/08/2023 09:39

Thank you for all of your messages, we just had another conversation (he is overseas which is why there is tooing and froing of conversation), I have an idea of what it will look like, carats, band width, tapered etc but have concluded he can go ahead and buy as he would like an element of surprise - better be a good surprise 😂 we will then choose wedding bands together. I trust his taste and judgement and have never had a fixed idea of an ideal ring so I'm happy.

OP posts:

pamplemoussemousse · 22/08/2023 09:40

We chose mine together but I sent him pics of ring styles I liked.

My friend's fiancé proposed with a token ring and then they went shopping together, I think that's quite a good way to do it as he could do his "surprise" moment and she could still choose a ring she loved.

IHateLegDay · 22/08/2023 09:42

We went ring shopping and I'm so glad I got a say because if I'm going to wear something for the rest of my life, I want to make sure that it's to my taste.
I love my engagement ring!

Franticbutterfly · 22/08/2023 09:44

I chose the diamond and he chose the setting. He has good taste so I knew it would be lovely, I just had to get the best quality diamond we could afford.

wheredotheygo · 22/08/2023 10:29

Mine was chosen by my DH, with some guidance from my sister who was extremely indiscreet when trying to find out what I would like! I told her exactly what I wanted and got a very beautiful ring which ticked all of the boxes, so he really did very well. However, I don't think it suits me! It's very delicate and sparkly and I have quite big hands and I just think it looks a bit lost on my finger. I do love it for it's meaning and I would absolutely not change it, but I do wish we had picked one together and I'd had chance to try some on as I'm pretty sure I would have chosen very differently and found one that suited my hands better.

caringcarer · 22/08/2023 10:55

My DH proposed on one knee in the grounds of a castle we liked to walk in. He said will you marry me in that castle? I looked expecting him to pull out a ring once I'd said yes. But he jumped up swizzed me around and said we'd go ring shopping on the Saturday at Birmingham jewelry quarter. We chose a design we liked but the diamond was a bit small so the jeweler told us they could buy in a bigger diamond for us. We went back for the ring 2 weeks later.

madeinmanc · 22/08/2023 11:12

Hope he's in a country known for good taste 😁

Hbh17 · 22/08/2023 11:14

Bought ours together over 30 years ago - it never occurred to me that it should be done any other way. You are entering into a joint venture as a couple, so why should it just be the man who decides?

CMOTDibbler · 22/08/2023 11:25

We've been married 26 years, and once we had decided to get married we didn't tell anyone and spent 2 or 3 glorious weeks choosing a ring together. It was so special. Once he picked it up, he did go down on one knee, and then we told everyone. Still love my ring after 28 years of wearing it

Jk987 · 22/08/2023 12:49

I don't see the need to get engaged. Just get married if you want to!

Abigailandthefoxes · 22/08/2023 12:51

We shopped together for ideas then he picked on his own. What he picked for me is a million times then any we picked together.

elQuintoConyo · 22/08/2023 12:57

We talked about marriage and looked for a ring together.
Not an expensive ring, an antique from the 1920s.
There was no proposal, more of a 'oh, postman's been!' and there was the ring. Think we shagged non stop for a solid week we were so excited!
We had simple wedding bands, had a small wedding ceremony.
Unfortunately we were burgled not long after and all 3 rings were stolen, never to be seen again.
Marriage still going strong, though!