DH is constantly harking back to the past

[GameBoy]

Don't know if it's a mid-life thing (he has a 'big' birthday soon) or the effect of us now being empty nesters, but DH is constantly going on about things we did in the past and it's beginning to annoy me, as I'm very much a forward-looking person. Also I think his memories of some things are completely rose-tinted!

Facebook reminding him with 'on this day 15 years ago' photos results in him sending me photos on WhatsApp saying 'remember when we took DS1 to Rome, wasn't that lovely?' and me saying 'no, don't you remember, he had D&V for most of the week and we barely left the hotel and had no sleep...'

He also 'finds' things/ memories in the cupboard e.g. a mug from an event 25 years ago that I've hidden and starts saying 'we should do that again' etc.

I think it's actually the sign of something quite serious and could dictate the direction of OPs marriage.

You probably feel pressure to recreate another holiday when you cba having done the work the first time, hence resentment. It's passive aggressive, like your current scenario isn't good enough and he's putting pressure on you to step up. Decide what you are comfortable with and do it or turn it on him to organize.

I can see that his nostaligia for the past grates because it was you that put all the effort in, so he could have a nice time, and your memories aren't quite so sweet. Also because you think that he's hinting you should do more of that stuff now. I understand why that would irritate you.

My DH, who is a really good egg generally, has an annoying intermittent habit of saying 'It would be lovely to have a load of people around to eat and make an overnight of it with music and games in the garden'. Each time, I agree, and ask him what he's cooking / how he's going to entertain them at the same time as cooking / clearing up. I tell him to let me know when he's organised it and I'll do my best to help him. He's never got around to organising it. I think like your DH he has a lovely fairytale idea of entertaining people.... which is based on memories where someone else was planning / shopping / sweating in the kitchen and cleaning up, and he was the 'host' changing the music and topping up drinks every so often.

Like your DH, it helps to remind him of the reality, and to check if he's still keen on doing it if he's got to put at least the same effort in as me.

With your DH, I would remind him of the reality (without being too negative - presumably you also have some happy memories from your marriage and if so it's lovely to share them) and then say you'd love to visit again if he's arranging it.