Police check and results

[ThunderKat]

Hello,
Has anybody on here had to request a police check on their ex partners, new partner? Have you had the results returned?

I requested a police check after a number of incidents. I also requested the results at the same time. I have had nothing.

I ask because my son is spending a lot of time with the new partner. My son is returning upset. The new partner has been shouting at my son. She told him to get out the house which I witnessed on a video call. My son does not want to visit her house at all. However, his dad spends a lot of contact time, school hols, weekends with his new partner and takes our son along.

The communication is poor. My ex and new partner have prevented contact and communication a lot. My son and I were close. I do not want to lose him. His father and new partner have left him unsupervised on a number of occasions.

I have reported all incidents. I am concerned about the next holiday. How else can I help my 9 year old son (has SEMH)?

The police and social have not listened nor taken it seriously.
What can I do?

Is there a Child Arrangements Order in place @ThunderKat and does your DS want to see his DF?

If your DS doesn’t want to go to his DF’s house don’t make him go. I would rather have a pissed off ex than an unhappy child. What’s the worst he can do? Take you to family court for access? If he did try to go for access you could provide the family court with evidence of their awful behaviour

Hi,
Yes, there is a child arrangement order in place. This hasn't been working out. My son wants to see his father but there are issues around her behaviour which have been reported. I have been advised to record all incidents.
.
Have either of you had to request police checks and results at all? I am wondering if this could help.

I recently learnt of my ex's previous drug possession. The family courts were aware of this and granted access.

As a parent, I am concerned with his new partner too and her background.

I'm not sure what else I can do. I have applied for an urgent application and review of the child arrangement order.

Hi there @ThunderKat - we hope you don't mind but we've just nipped in and moved your thread over to our Relationships topic and we hope you get some useful advice and support here from MNers who have experienced similar situations. Best of luck with it all.

If you're concerned, report to social services. The threshold/burden of proof for intervention is lower than the police - the police require a crime to have been committed the LA only require the child tp be 'at risk' of harm.

Speak to the school. See if he has said anything to them. They will have recorded it but not necessarily spoke too you about it. Have they noticed any changes in behaviour.

Get them on board if you can.

I’m not sure what you mean by police checks. The police aren’t beholden to you, and won’t disclose sensitive information to you. What were you expecting them to say?

You could request a Claire’s Law disclosure, but the only person who would possibly be given any information would be your ex, and that’s only if the new partner has a previous history as an offender of domestic abuse.

You could request a Sarah’s Law disclosure if you think the new partner has a history of child sexual offences, but it doesn’t sound like that’s your concern from your op.

If you have concerns about your son staying with them, then you should speak to social services, or a solicitor to get an actual childcare arrangement in place.

Thank you for your advice and responses everybody. I appreciate it.

School had seen my son deteriorate in learning and behaviour. I noticed the same and had concerns which I immediately spoke to cover staff about. The
cover staff were informative and understanding. They are now leaving as like many schools, struggling. Unfortunately, some staff at school have taken sides with my ex. They believe every word he speaks. I'm just exhausted by the weekly allegations and falsehoods.

I voluntarily offered to do tests. My results of medical, health and background returned clean and I recently received a good health report. My ex has refused all tests.

I will definitely check the above mentioned laws.

Thank you.