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Original poster

Hubby wouldn’t give me his phone

58 replies

MamFran · 14/08/2023 20:34

So I just set up balloons and presents for our daughters birthday tomorrow. I’d left my phone upstairs so said to my husband ‘can I have your phone to take a picture please’
he hesitated and said why? I said cos I’ve left my phone upstairs and I want to take a picture of the balloon and presents.
he said ‘Oh I want to see’ and got up with his phone to come and see and he took the picture himself.

This could be innocent and may have actually just wanted to see…….but it’s thrown me!! What would you guys think ?

OP posts:
frozendaisy · 14/08/2023 20:35

Sounds absolutely normal to me

SunflowerTed · 14/08/2023 20:37

Nothing to suggest anything untoward imo

WingedHermes · 14/08/2023 20:37

Yep. I'm with you. There's something I his hone he doesn't want you to see. Very fishy.

GoodChat · 14/08/2023 20:38

It wouldn't concern me if he seemed genuine about wanting to see

catsnhats11 · 14/08/2023 20:40

Depends on tone and body language. Could be something, could be nothing.

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/08/2023 20:41

I think I'd be your DH here and take the picture myself (and want to see). I'm not doing anything dodgy.

Aquamarine1029 · 14/08/2023 20:41

You're leaving out how he is normally and if it's not unheard of for you to use his phone.

cruffinsmuffin · 14/08/2023 20:43

I'd have wanted to see the balloons and presents all set up too!

It depends - does he normally hand it to you with zero hesitation? Has that changed? If not and it's how he normally is I wouldn't bat an eyelid.

DH and I use our phones interchangeably if one is closer, we're both set up on each others Face ID and will use them for photos / to google / quickly call someone. If he suddenly took my face off + started being shifty that would be a huge change so I'd be noticing it.

Champagneponies · 14/08/2023 20:46

I feel like it's fine for my husband to have privacy of his phone, however if I ever needed to use it for logistical / practical purposes like your example, then it shouldn't be an issue for me to use it. What is there to hide? I'm not saying we should be entirely transparent - some people want privacy on their phone and that's fine. However being overly protective is a major red flag. He should be relaxed about you using it if you need to.

I'd try the situation again, ask to borrow his phone for something. Let yours die. If he won't allow you the call him out directly and ask why he is not comfortable letting you briefly have access to his phone. Tell him this behavior makes you uncomfortable. If he isn't forthright and transparent after that, then he's hiding something.

Watchkeys · 14/08/2023 20:53

It makes me wonder why you don't trust him. He might be expecting/have received confirmation of a present he's bought for you or a message from a friend who's talking to him about something confidential to them.

Why has it thrown you?

Original poster
MamFran · 14/08/2023 20:57

Thanks all ❤️

OP posts:
Daffodil18 · 16/08/2023 00:18

Jesus some of these comments. They clearly have never been lied to! This is exactly how it started with me and 2 years later I find out it’s been an affair with his best friends wife.

Aikko · 16/08/2023 00:39

There’s something on his phone he doesn’t want you to see.

Greenwitchhorse · 16/08/2023 00:51

People on this thread are so naive...

Your husband got really twitchy about you handling his phone. Big red flag.

Suddenly deciding he wanted to see the presents/balloons and insisting on taking the pic himself are simply ways of avoiding giving you access to his phone at all cost.

If it was innocent he would have just passed you the phone without a second thought and maybe tag along to have a look.

Sorry OP but I think you need to investigate a bit further.

ilovesooty · 16/08/2023 00:56

I wouldn't hand my phone over to anyone, even someone I lived with.

justanothermanicmonday1 · 16/08/2023 00:58

Greenwitchhorse · 16/08/2023 00:51

People on this thread are so naive...

Your husband got really twitchy about you handling his phone. Big red flag.

Suddenly deciding he wanted to see the presents/balloons and insisting on taking the pic himself are simply ways of avoiding giving you access to his phone at all cost.

If it was innocent he would have just passed you the phone without a second thought and maybe tag along to have a look.

Sorry OP but I think you need to investigate a bit further.

Exactly my thoughts.

I wouldn't even hesitate to hand my DP my phone for a photo and he wouldn't either.

This would concern me slightly. Not enough to cause a riot over. But enough to keep a close eye on his behaviour.

Gagaandgag · 16/08/2023 01:05

Greenwitchhorse · 16/08/2023 00:51

People on this thread are so naive...

Your husband got really twitchy about you handling his phone. Big red flag.

Suddenly deciding he wanted to see the presents/balloons and insisting on taking the pic himself are simply ways of avoiding giving you access to his phone at all cost.

If it was innocent he would have just passed you the phone without a second thought and maybe tag along to have a look.

Sorry OP but I think you need to investigate a bit further.

I have to agree!

ihadamarveloustime · 16/08/2023 01:21

OP, you know he hesitated. You know he didn't want you to touch his phone. And then he pretended he wanted to see what he'd had plenty of time to see, and even help put together, rather than just let you take a quick pic with it.

There's something on his phone that he doesn't want you to see.

SunRainStorm · 16/08/2023 01:36

Trust your instincts.

I would have no issue handing my phone to DH and he's always given me his without hesitation as well.

Tell your DH he seemed uncomfortable when you asked to borrow his phone and see what he says.

Lavender14 · 16/08/2023 01:44

As someone who's been cheated on and who found out through checking his phone- this would not in itself make me suspicious.

If there's a wider pattern of him being secretive or cagey etc or if your gut has been telling you lately something is off and that's why you've noticed this particular moment then yes you need to talk to him/ have a snoop. But on its own no I wouldn't be concerned by that.

JudgeRudy · 16/08/2023 01:56

I'd have had to have been there and assessed his tone, body language, demeanour etc.
If you're not normally suspicious somethings set you off. I wouldn't get obsessed but whether you want to or not your radar has ramped up a notch. If there a further 'just a feeling' occurances listen. If it's nothing, it'll simmer down dissipate in a day or 2.

caringcarer · 16/08/2023 02:05

If it is unusual behaviour for him just keep a close eye on him and maybe try to sneak a look at his phone if he leaves it about. My DH leaves his in the sitting room when he goes in the bath. If he started taking it with him I'd wonder why.

Daffodil63 · 16/08/2023 02:21

Definitely a red flag for me -trust your instincts

Andthereyougo · 16/08/2023 02:23

Photos in his phone he doesn’t want you to see? Because you’d click, then go into photos to check what you’d taken.

Weatherwax13 · 16/08/2023 02:29

You know his reaction was "off" in some way because it struck you immediately. IME secrecy around phones has always been a red flag.