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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

To not want flowers!

61 replies

ChantillyCream · 12/08/2023 16:27

Does anyone else find big bouquets of flowers a pain in the bum? For recent events (birthdays, anniversaries etc) my husband has stopped buying gifts and instead buys a big over-the-top bouquet. I don't mean to sound ungrateful but he works next to a florist so he just picks it up on the way home. Job done, box ticked.

I end up with this massive bunch of flowers, which although look lovely, it's then up to me to to cut the stems, find an appropriate vase, remember to change or top up the water, pick up the petals as they drop, dispose of the dead plants in the compost a week or two later. We are also currently renovating our house so have limited space and a very small dining table for the five of us, and every meal or when the kids want to do colouring etc the vase has to get moved out the way onto the floor. I just find it a big hassle.

They're also pretty expensive and I'd just rather the money was spent on something else. Is it just me or am I being ungrateful?

OP posts:
NancyJoan · 12/08/2023 18:17

I love flowers, but I’m fussy and would prefer to choose what I like. They feel like and add-on, not the actual present, to me. Though I may be spoilt.

PurplePetalPip · 12/08/2023 18:18

I agree. When I had my baby, I received 6 bunches of flowers. I barely had time to go to the toilet or eat a sandwich, let alone unwrap, trim and arrange all these flowers then find a space for them amongst all the new baby stuff that I also didn't have time to sort and tidy.

Felt really ungrateful but every time a new bunch arrived I'd just sigh. I bare this in mind now and in future will send a gift voucher for a takeaway to new mums or anyone who's had an operation etc!

BlartFast · 12/08/2023 18:18

I love flowers and have fresh ones in the house pretty much all the time. But I’d take a dim view of receiving them as a gift for birthdays or anniversaries.

Needmorelego · 12/08/2023 18:19

Have you actually told him you don’t want them.
Just tell him 🙄

MerryChristmasToYou · 12/08/2023 18:20

They're ok WITH a present, but not as a present. They're much nicer if it's a 'just because I was thinking of you' or something.

billy1966 · 12/08/2023 18:21

I love flowers and always have them in the house but under the circumstances you describe I wouldn't be that impressed.

Cakey46 · 12/08/2023 18:21

Agree completely - if it's my birthday the I would rather have a proper present. If it's a surprise then a bunch of Lillies or peonies or tulips are really appreciated but I detest a mixed bunch of whatever from Asda, like chrysanthemums or whatever is cheap and cheerful - hate them and want them to die quickly. Mother in law 'presents' me with flowers when she comes to stay and it's yet another job to put them in a vase and cut the stems as well as wrangling dinner. I know this sounds ungrateful - I would ask for chocolates but she is fatist. Finally the worst of all sins is to give flowers at Christmas - the house is already full of spangles, lights and other frou frou how can flowers be the thing that the house / or me is in need of?

MerryChristmasToYou · 12/08/2023 18:27

How do you tell a relative that although flowers on Mother's Day is nice, a gift would be appreciated?
I'm not the mother in question, but the recipient doesn't much like flowers but loves a pressie. I've tried 'She really likes getting a wrapped gift', but that wasn't enough of a hint.

YRGAM · 12/08/2023 18:51

Needmorelego · 12/08/2023 18:19

Have you actually told him you don’t want them.
Just tell him 🙄

This. Just communicate! Tell him! You're supposed to be a married couple!

DappledThings · 12/08/2023 19:00

I hate getting flowers. They are tedious to deal with when they arrive and when they are dead and you have a vase full of slimy water. DH knows this and never buys them. DD is 5 and keeps asking for them. I relented on Mother's Day because she really wanted to get me some but otherwise it's a no.

WiggelyWooWorm · 12/08/2023 19:16

I love flowers but more recently hate the thought of all the air miles they've done. I grow for cutting in my allotment now so would rather someone got me a plant I could add to the cutting garden.

weegiemum · 12/08/2023 19:22

I love flowers and usually have them in the house, right now I have a bunch of Tesco sunflowers and they're glorious. Dh brings them, he knows my favourites (mainly anything yellow) but I never get big florist bouquets, what a waste!

SlippySarah · 12/08/2023 19:23

I hate being given flowers. A plant for the house or garden is lovely and I can find a spot for it and nurture it. When my DB died I was sent about 20 bunches of flowers over the course of about 3 weeks. It was awful, I had nowhere to put them, they all slowly died and then I had to deal with them. I will never give anyone flowers again after that.

FannyFifer · 12/08/2023 19:29

I detest getting flowers, I just think they are such a waste of money, you just basically sit watching them wilt then they die. Just pointless to me.
Also have a cat & there are loads of flowers that are toxic to cats.

Doingmybest12 · 12/08/2023 19:30

I think there is a lovely sentiment to buying or receiving flowers even garage flowers.

Olika · 12/08/2023 19:49

Don't like receiving flowers. Told my DH very early on not to bother.

clpsmum · 12/08/2023 20:01

Do the same for him I'm sure that would soon stop him

billy1966 · 12/08/2023 20:52

weegiemum · 12/08/2023 19:22

I love flowers and usually have them in the house, right now I have a bunch of Tesco sunflowers and they're glorious. Dh brings them, he knows my favourites (mainly anything yellow) but I never get big florist bouquets, what a waste!

Ditto.

So love flowers, buy them very regularly, as does my husband for me.

Spend a £80 on a bouquet, definitely not.

CandyflossKaren · 12/08/2023 21:31

Well what do you want instead??

MerryChristmasToYou · 12/08/2023 22:04

Something that shows that the person understands exactly what you like.

CandyflossKaren · 12/08/2023 22:21

MerryChristmasToYou · 12/08/2023 22:04

Something that shows that the person understands exactly what you like.

Well then op should try a CONVERSATION with her DH rather than moan! He was up til recently buying her gifts and has switched to flowers.... how's the poor sod going to win this one?

ChantillyCream · 12/08/2023 23:25

Thanks for the replies, it's good to see I'm not the only one!
I have told him... He thinks I'm being ungrateful and that surely everyone likes flowers!
I totally agree with the pp who said little bunches of daffs etc "just because I'm thinking of you" are very different from an overpriced bouquet of imported flowers.
Our anniversary is next week so I'll have to have another word I think.

OP posts:
MBailey99 · 12/08/2023 23:30

I can't stand flowers. I'm really chaotic and they always end up drying up because I forget to change the water. I hate that they just die, just such a weird concept to me. I love hardy house plants and you can buy baby house plants for less than a fancy bunch of flowers. They can live forever if you look after them. Much better!

JibbaJab · 12/08/2023 23:31

There's your solution. Buy him flowers for everything. Everyone loves flowers.

continentallentil · 12/08/2023 23:33

They are nice occasionally but as a regular present from someone who knows you well they are very lazy.

Tell him what you want and that you are flowered out.