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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Constantly falling asleep

29 replies

Loveagoodbargain21 · 12/08/2023 08:29

So here is the issue. It’s been going on for years and keeps getting brought up. DH and I married nearly 20 years. 2 DD 18 and 15. I nod off on couch all the time after I sit down. We can be watching Tv / film whatever. As soon as I sit I nod off. DH wakes me as it’s early - about 8:30 - 9 or so. I have understood thyroid and meds checked correct for blood - tested recently. How do I stay awake? Other than taking pro plus! Background info : I get up at 6. Make packed lunches. Walk dog before taking DD to school. Work full time and do all washing, cooking and house cleaning. Jobs like wash car / gardening we share. DH also works full time and 1 in 3 weekends additionallly. Is this normal? Who else has this issue? Feel like a bad wife!

OP posts:
AmeliPoison · 12/08/2023 08:46

Go to bed at 8pm. Why are you trying to stay awake? 9pm bedtime isn't early for a 6am start and you're probably sleep starved.
I would check anaemia, stop drinking alcohol and lose weight as they all affect sleep and energy levels.

mycatsanutter · 12/08/2023 08:56

It's probably because that sitting down to watch tv is the first time you have sat down for hours so your body switches off then so does your mind and you drift off.

Blogdog · 12/08/2023 09:02

I do this too, every night, and have done for years.

I have an appointment with a sleep clinic next month to see I have sleep apnoea.

dresstime · 12/08/2023 12:08

My DP wakes at around 4am to 5am each morning. I wake up but go back to sleep but he goes downstairs and is then 'up'. I go to work at 7.30am but he works from home. When I get home he nods off around 6pm each night- sometimes I need to wake him for dinner and then he sleeps again until I wake him to go to bed. I'm not sure if others have this situation but he gets annoyed if I mention it. Maybe some healthchecks needed? What does everyone think? Sorry to derail this thread but it seemed similar!

Destiny123 · 12/08/2023 12:12

I'm the same. Only way round it is sitting on the carpet lol

Feckinlego · 12/08/2023 12:16

You're exhausted, your day is full on. But worth asking for a referral to a sleep clinic to check for sleep apnoea or narcolepsy. Are u overweight? Do you snore?

Furtivefig · 12/08/2023 12:18

I’d be looking at my general lifestyle; diet, fitness levels, getting enough sleep if all bloods were ok…

Feckinlego · 12/08/2023 12:24

Sorry meant to say look up the Epworth sleepiness scale and see if it applies to you.

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 12/08/2023 12:30

Another voice for checking sleep apnoea. My ex had this and was constantly falling asleep on the settee, in the car, the cinema etc. It's actually bloody dangerous.

gotmychristmasmiracle · 12/08/2023 12:33

Think I would just go to bed earlier rather than force yourself to stay up.

littlebirdieblu · 12/08/2023 12:38

Another to say check for sleep apnea. I was exactly the same as you and then I had my appointment 4 years ago....sleep apnea. Now I never fall asleep watching telly at night or just sitting relaxing.

DatingDinosaur · 12/08/2023 14:33

After a full on day from 6am I'm not surprised the minute you sit down and relax you nod off! Perhaps if your DH could take more responsibility for certain household tasks it might take the pressure off you. The balance sounds a bit skewed. Yes he might work full time and all that but so do you, just doing different work. What does he do when he gets in from work? Sits and relaxes while you sort dinner? I hope not! You work 6am to 8pm. What hours does he work?

OldEvilOwl · 12/08/2023 15:14

Have a few early nights in the week to catch up on sleep, you obviously need it

ChristmasFluff · 12/08/2023 16:16

My Dad used to fall asleep on the couch every night, and even my Horrible Mother would not have woken him up.

I mean, it may be sleep apnoea, but if you are being woken at 8 or 9 and being made to stay up to some acceptable time, and then get up at 6am again - probs you are just knackered?

Also ask for you actual TSH levels and your loval 'normal' guidelines. Then check online if both are reasonable, clinically.

ChristmasFluff · 12/08/2023 16:18

Bloody hell - typo - 'local' not loval

JammyDodgeMe · 12/08/2023 16:20

Have you had your b12 levels checked?

I also fall asleep as soon as I sit down on the sofa after dinner. Trouble is, once I wake up to go up to bed, I feel wide awake again.

I've started having monthly b12 injections and feel better. My levels were quite low. I'm also low on iron.

AchyBreakyCold · 12/08/2023 16:22

Why do you need to stay awake? I fall asleep when I sit down. The kids always joke my cinema ticket is wasted as I'm asleep in 30 mins.

BanditsOnTheHorizon · 12/08/2023 16:26

Sounds like you are just miss matched when it comes to being an early bird or night owl.

Dh and I are like this, he gets up really early but will fall asleep/go to bed early, and I'm the opposite. We just accept this is us and accept this is the way we both are and live with it.

You're not a bad wife at all. If you got up later would you go to sleep later? Is your dh getting up at the same time? But if you are happy to get up early there's nothin g wrong with going to bed early

BatshitCrazyWoman · 12/08/2023 16:27

I slept really badly in peri menopause, and was up at 5 am for work. I rarely saw 9 pm lol. I didn't realise how badly I was affected until I started HRT, and now, despite the 5 am start, I can easily stay awake until 10/11 pm. Could it be this?

Busubaba · 12/08/2023 16:33

Even as a young woman I cannot bear to sit on the sofa in the dark or very dim lights and would fall asleep.

I like a room to be brightly lit.

augustusglupe · 12/08/2023 17:28

I’ve done this my whole life. I can sleep anywhere.
When I was at school and we went hosteling, they all called me dormouse 😄 because I couldn’t get up.
Bloods always been fine.
Yes have a check up, but if it’s just normal tiredness, go to bed and sleep.
Also, so what if you nod off in the lounge, I do all the time.

EarthSight · 12/08/2023 17:51

Sounds like you have a full on life. You probably feel all nice and cozy in your chair and just nod off. Decreasing hormones and possibly low iron could be physical factors to.

fullbloom87 · 12/08/2023 20:51

How are you bad wife?? You worked full time AND do all the schools runs, dog walks, cleaning.
If your husband has an issue with it, maybe he should do more to help out.
I find that when I get into a routine of where and how I sleep it sticks, so if I have a nap at 2pm on the sofa one day, Im Likely to nap again if I sit on the sofa a 2pm the next day. It's like my body gets the green flag to sleep and there's no stopping it.
To me it just sounds like you're knackered and your husband needs to do more!

Seaweed42 · 12/08/2023 21:02

Well it's been going on for 20yrs.
It'll probably keep going on to be honest.
If you get up at 6am you are probably needing to be asleep by 10pm.
So in bed at 9.30.
Not a bit surprised you are falling asleep on the sofa at 8.30pm.

Can you make the packed lunches the night before and walk the dog when you get home?
And then stay in bed until 7am?