Handhold please, asked DV husband to go

[TerribleScene]

I'm here with the kids waiting for him to leave.

Has he agreed? Are you safe? Can anyone come to be with you? X

He has agreed and is packing his stuff. After that I will have to think what to do next

Good for you! Be strong, keep yourself and your children safe.

@TerribleScene
Handhold here xx
Hope you and the kids are ok?

Well done. Please keep us updated.

I am not okay, my head keeps going in and out of panic. I think it is shock and trauma. I am also scared about what will happen next. I have asked someone close to me to come and be with me here for a while.

Try to stay away from him as best you can, go outside if you have a garden. Try to avoid any conflict. Keep your phone at the ready in case you need to call the police. You're doing the right thing, op. You have to get him out of the home.

Take a deep breath. Your new life starts now and this, right now, is the scariest part. Try and think about plans for the future and how life will improve. And most of all, be proud of yourself for doing this

Thank you. I am going to call an abuse line for some advice. I am traumatized and really scared and can't believe this is happening

Hi OP how are you? I hope you are all ok x

Are they on their way?

have a low threshold for calling the police.

Well done OP. Stay strong!

Left my alcoholic husband after 10yrs last year, I left with 2 DC and £0. I've never looked back and I'm so happy! Mind you, it took me several attempts to finally do it.

You got this OP. Keep pushing forward 💪🏼

Like everyone else i hope you are ok. Well done, this must have been so hard to do.

Hello all. We went to stay somewhere else for the night as I couldn't relax at home.

My mental health is all over the place, I am clearly traumatized. Children are sleeping and I've had some sleep, too.

Hi Op - so he didn’t leave. I’m sorry - I called the police on my ex - he refused to go - I left and he moved out as he has bailed to another address. He couldn’t come near me. Is this a route you could go down? What about calling womens aid if in the UK.
Is the home owned or rented -
Would you call the police and speak to the DV team.
Kids are resilient- these men are bully’s - if he was in any way decent he’d leave so the children weren’t disturbed. Sadly lots of them aren’t. It’s all about them.
Well done for getting out and it’s not wonder you are traumatised.
I hope you have some support today. 🌺🌺

Thank you. He did leave but I still didn't feel safe there, mind in pieces and friends advised me that I should go somewhere else at least for the night.

I can't stop trying and feeling like I'm going to vomit

Crying

What are your plans for today, moving forward? Try and focus on the practicalities.

You are amazinly brave and strong. You may not feel it right now but to find the strength to do what you did at a time when you feel at your lowest is incredible. Be proud in telling people I asked him to leave because of HIS behaviour.
Your children will grow up knowing they don't have to stand for that treatment. You've protected your children's future.
You are a powerful and capable woman. Let people help you, that's what they

My plans for today are basically just getting through today, entertaining the kids and eating meals. DH has said the right things about getting help with his issues and behavior but I can't even processed any thoughts for more than 30 seconds at the moment

It's shock OP. It's normal when you've had a violent, traumatising experience - the brain tries to protect you by not processing anything. It will pass.

You've done the right thing. Just take it an hour, a minute at a time. Survive until you can thrive.

Definitely lean on family and friends for support, if they are non toxic. Speak to Women's Aid when you can. They are very helpful and you can call as many times as you need.

My tip is to have a notebook and pen (or a phone app if you're more tech savvy than me) to take notes of anything practical. Or what WA tell you. Its so easy to forget stuff when you're going through this

Take your time. Care for your children, and be kind to yourself. That's all for now.

I don't know if I'll get flamed for this, but in my opinion if somebody has the capacity to perpetrate domestic violence, that person cannot change. Even with all the therapy/help in the world. I firmly believe it is hardwired in their brains.

I would stay stick to your guns, no matter what. Break the cycle and be free!

say*

Also, I was told this fable by a friend when I was exiting an abusive relationship:

The Scorpion and The Frog

I don’t have any expertise do not hear to give advice. I just wanted to say that I am still here and concerned for you and hope you are ok.