Name-change for this. Sorry it's long but there are necessary details.
I've always struggled with my partner's indecisiveness and FOMO. He's the kind of person who spends 30 minutes trying to choose from a menu and then regrets his choice and wants to change his order. Faced with booking a hotel or a holiday he goes into meltdown and ends up not booking at all. It drives me nuts but it's the worst thing about him, the rest is lovely.
Three weeks ago he was walking the dog in the local country park when he saw a man exposing himself to a female runner. My husband yelled and the man ran off. My husband got a photo of him as he ran away and recognised him as someone who works in a local pub. The woman who'd been flashed seemed less bothered by the incident than my husband and when he suggested they call the police she said she didn't want any hassle and ran off.
My husband spent the next fortnight talking about this incident and whether or not he should go to the police. He talked it over with everyone he knows — work colleagues, neighbours, friends, his family. I said I wanted him to report it but said that I'd support him whatever he decided, then tried to ignore the 'What should I do?' whine.
Eventually he phoned the police, told them what had happened and was told that it was an offence, they took it seriously and that he could choose their response. They could visit the man and interview him and he might end up in court and on the sex offenders' register or they could talk to him, see what he had to say and warn him that his name and details of what happened would be be recorded on file. Cue more anguish, hours more spent bending peoples' ear and repeated calls to the police to confirm that these were his only two options. Yesterday he decided to ask the police to have a phone conversation with the guy, which they did. He admitted the offence, was apologetic and embarrassed and understood that there was now a record of the incident which would remain attached to him name on police records. He said he wouldn't do it again. The police were satisfied with the outcome. My husband immediately decided he'd made the wrong decision and he wants the man charged and has now phoned the police three times to see if he can get the action changed.
For the third time he's come into the room where I'm working and wanted to go over the conversation we've already had 20 times over the last week or so. I've finally snapped and told him to let it go and he's shouted at me that I promised to support his decision and that I've let him down badly. It'll blow over and he'll wind down — but how could I have handled it differently/ better and does anyone else have a partner like him? How do you cope? He makes everything more stressful and complicated than it needs to be and he ropes everyone in.