Neighbour has a problem with me, how to not let it bother me?

[Kosima]

I’ve lived in my home for just over 5 years now with no issue until a new family moved in next door 2 years ago. I chatted to the mum a few times, all very polite and civil with no issues.

She shouts at people in the street quite often and they have the police at their door fairly regularly, they get drunk in their front garden most weekends. They got a second car for the Dad last year and he started parking it outside my house whenever my car wasn’t there (no driveways) even though they have plenty of room to park further down the street because it’s not a busy road at all. I park my own car outside of my house if the space is free and a few months ago the mum came out shouting at me and being really aggressive, calling me names and demanding that I stop parking outside my house because that’s where they like to park. I was polite but firm and made it clear that I would be continuing to park outside of my house if the space was free, she began threatening me with the police so I gave up and walked away.

Since then I’ve been trying to ignore her but it’s been really stressful. Every time I get home from work there’s random objects like sweeping brushes, lawn chairs, boxes that she’s dumped outside my house which I need to get out of the car and manually move to be able to park. She stares me down from her garden anytime she sees me arrive home, and if he’s parked outside my house when I arrive home at weekends it now feels really awkward to have to park somewhere else because I know that they’re probably watching me and gossiping. They both angrily stare through my windows whenever they walk past my house and have started throwing rubbish over my garden wall. My kids have picked up on it and keep asking why the neighbours stare at them.

I don’t think there’s anything I can do legally, I asked them to stop but it’s clear that they enjoy bickering and they’re just hoping for a reaction. The whole thing is stressing me out and I’ve been avoiding leaving the house wherever I can because I hate confrontation and stress and my stomach knots up whenever I’m driving home from somewhere.

We rent privately and can’t afford to move for quite a while so sadly that’s not an option yet. I want to learn how to brush it off and not care that they don’t like us or what they’re saying about us, not let it bother me when they manage to block me from parking and are probably gloating about it and not feel stressed or intimidated when they’re both sat staring at me and muttering snide little comments. Frankly I need to learn how to just not give a f**k about those with no value to me. Where do I start?

Pray for them, sounds like they need it.

Can you speak to your landlord? Are they in social housing? CN you speak to the police? You need to report this to someone as it is harassment. You don’t need to live like this. Keep a diary. Report it to the council. Take photos. They sound like problem people that no doubt do this wherever they live.

Excellent response.
That will definitely fix the issue

Keep calling the police on them. They are harassing you and their behaviour is threatening.

I spoke to my landlord but she said that there’s nothing anybody can do about staring and that it’s a public road and I don’t have any right to park there. I did contact the police who said that I need video evidence so I’ve installed a ring doorbell but the problem is that they’re not actually really DOING anything, it wouldn’t even be a problem if I were more resilient.

People who stare hate it when you stare back.

So I would advise you do that.

Not words, not confrontation just return staring

I'd give a cheery and enthusiastic wave with a big smile.

spoke to my landlord but she said that there’s nothing anybody can do about staring and that it’s a public road and I don’t have any right to park there.

That sounds useless, but the point is that you have as much right as your neighbours to park on that public road.

They're not just staring, they're throwing rubbish and larger items into your garden. Hopefully the doorbell will catch these incidents as that's something you can report.

In the meantime try not to let it impact on you, and ignore them.

Do they own or rent? If the latter you can report them to their landlord.

You wouldn't. Antagonising people like this is rarely a good idea.

OP, find that resilience. Did you tell the police about them throwing rubbish etc in your garden?

Tell your children to ignore them and otherwise you ignore them too.

Imagine how empty their lives must be for this to be their entertainment!

I'd send the council any footage of them dumping stuff in the street.

I'd find out who your local PCSO is and speak to them also.

I would however not expect it to improve much, so longer term I'd look to move.

I agree about building resilience - I know it's hard but force yourself to go out, ignore them, and it'll get easier. She will fall out with someone else soon and forget about you.

I’d just park a bit further down because they are enjoying playing this parking space game, but you’re not, so don’t play. Would you rather win a game you don’t want to play or be happy?
when they glare at you, just smile and give a little nod.

Put a camera in front and back gardens to video them throwing rubbish and leaving shit for you to fall over. Call the council and show them the videos.

I'd get a ring doorbell for your own protection. Nothing you can do about parking space and just stare back or wave.

They get their kids to do it and then say that they can’t control what their kids do. Would the council care about things being dumped on the street?

I need to get out of the car and manually move to be able to park.
What do you do with it? Do you Chuck it into their garden or politely move it onto the path. I’d be tempted to run their bastard chairs over or lob them violently into their garden to return their property.
In reality I’d probably just move them nicely to the side to try not to further escalate the issue.
Do you know any burly blokes at all that could return in the car with you one day and helpfully tell them where to stick their broom?

Thank you. She sits in her front garden all day every day though so I am concerned she’ll never be distracted by anything or move on😨

Councils love to fine people for littering and fly tipping, in my experience.

Why are you speaking to your landlord and not theirs, op?

Don't move the things. Just run them over.

You need to speak to their landlord if they have one.

Complain if they're dumping rubbish, them or their children. Concerning that they're involving their children.

@ThatFraggle I’m always tempted but they’d probably start damaging my car or vandalising my house or something.

@HarrietJet We have the same landlord, the family owns three different houses on this street

How do you know what I would or wouldn't do? Are you me?

Oh? Shame on him for not giving a toss, then.