Hoping for a bit of a reality check here...
Long story short I've known a guy for years, not known well but have known him. My marriage ended 18 months ago and he is divorced. We have similar situations, both have DCs although his child sharing situation is a little more clear cut and straight forward than mine (relevant)
From the start we both said we were looking for something fun. This all started 3 months ago. I generally never messaged him first and any plans to meet etc were always instigated by him. We have slept together, the sex was good although he did sometimes suffer from performance anxiety (his words not mine)
This is my first relationship of any sort post marriage so I'm finding my feet with all this but knew I had to keep a little guarded until I knew where things were headed. However he would often share very deep and intimate thoughts/secrets about himself.
We spent the night together last week and he was playing me songs that meant a lot to him, talking about deep feelings (made a joke that I might break his heart) and I am certain when we were having sex he whispered "i love you" twice, but I didn't want to make a thing of it in case he said it in the moment...
Communications in the days that followed were a little up and down, either lots of messages or quiet for hours. We each had our children so it was to be expected but I did feel he was acting a little strange, so I matched his energy and didn't message back right away when he did and kept a bit of distance.
This evening he calls me and asks if we are still meeting at the weekend to go out as planned. I said yes so long as he wanted to... he then starts asking where I see everything going between us.
I'm still in a bit of a muddle as it came out of the blue but he started saying things like, he didn't want to hurt me and didn't want to get hurt, that he had kept me at arms length, that my situation with DCs made it difficult to make plans, that he doesn't know what he wants, that he thinks that maybe he's waiting for someone incredible to sweep him off his feet, he then started saying how amazing/beautiful etc I was...
I think he was surprised by my reaction because I was very calm and agreed that if it wasn't what he wanted then it was fine. I explained my situation with my DCs couldn't change and that they will always be my priority.
He then went on to say he wants to hear about how my plans during the week go (I have a big week at work) and that he has a gift for me he wants to leave on my doorstep.
He made a point a couple of times of saying "its great to be able to talk to you like this, my ex would have lost it with me"... He often talks about how his ex was very controlling and also has a strange backstory with his Mum so I think feeds into a lot of this.
(Because this isn't a full on relationship and I'm not in love!!! I'm not sure if he was expecting me to burst into tears)
I have gotten the sense he's emotionally unavailable and has a bit of Peter Pan complex.
I'm a bit baffled really. Is he scared? I've often thought people don't really get scared of their feelings and use it as a cop out to end things when they don't like someone, but does this happen?
Will he come crawling back? I don't know that I'd want to be further involved with him anyway, but my pride has taken a bit of knock as this is my first encounter with another man besides ex-DH in 15 years!
Sorry for the long post, would love to hear some shared experiences and insight into this. It's enough to have me rendered single and celibate for the next 50 years if this is what the dating scene is like! 