Forcing partner to work

[Commonhousewitch]

I've posted a number of times about my partner. I work full time and my partner does n't work- we have one teenage child . My partner takes on little life admin, little housework ( we have a cleaner) and excuses by saying that i am a control freak so there's no point him doing anything as he'd get it wrong. After a holiday where I paid for everything, planned everything, booked everything and executed everything (every day would be "what are we doing next?) - peaking when he lost his bank card and asked me to sort it out. i really need to have things change. Its not so much the money- but he has basically become someone I hate and someone who acts like a retired person. I resent everything about him. I suspect he is depressed but frankly i don't care anymore
Previously he has agreed to get a job and done nothing - or done a little bit or work and kept money for himself. How do I force the issue? If i refuse him access to the joint account- this feels like financial abuse- but i don't have any other way of making him. Get a job or get out .. i think he just wouldn't go and then what do i do

Sorry not awake..l
If you are in the U.K., then you won’t need a divorce if course!…..

he is a good dad in that he has always spent fun time with DS and i do all the discipline/homework/nagging

He's not a good dad. Good dad set their Dc an example. Good dad do the full parts of parenting. He's a lazy, useless arse.

Op, for goodness sake get legal advice right away. Your p is never going to change. You need to protect yourself and your money.

Totally off topic, but if you do decide to stay in Australia, please think about getting citizenship for you and your DS. I don't think he's entitled to HECS for university without it. It could prove costly for you if you don't get that sorted. And immigration are taking forever to process things.

Going back to the UK won't help unless you do it right now because you have to live there for 3 years before you are counted as a resident for fee purposes.

You're stuck in no man's land right now if your DS wants to go to uni.

🙄 yes this exactly like all SAHM isn’t it? Head pats for you from the MRAs.

So when someone says something you don't like you stick them in a collective? There can be no other possible reason? People all have to think the same?

For anyone suggesting to control money or cut off the husband from funds, please be aware in NSW from Feb 2024 economic abuse is considered coercive control which is a criminal offence. Maximum penalty—Imprisonment for 7 years.

Not a good suggestion for the OP.

I've always just wanted to give it one more chance and seeing a solicitor seems to be preparing for the end

Given that he's "basically become someone you hate" and that you "resent everything about him" the above is hard to understand since frankly it sounds as if you're at the end anyway

Obviously there'll be complications, which you'll need a solicitor for in any case, so why not bite the bullet and at least get properly informed as to what your options are? You might even find it liberating to actually know what you're dealing with ratheer than having to worry about it alone

Refusing to continue to subside a partner who doesn't do childcare, doesn't do life admin and doesn't do housework is not financial abuse. He isn't contributing to family life at all, he's just a sponge.

I rather suspect that what her 'D'H is doing is financial abuse, quite frankly.

All the more reason for OP to escalate her actions, starting with an appointment with a solicitor ASAP. 🌹