I’m going to start by saying although I know there will be lots of LTB comments and I have looked into it, but it’s just not a practical option for me right now.
I really need to vent here because I don’t want to drag real life people into things.
There is me, my husband and a daughter, 12.
Back story: My husband hasn’t worked in five years because he stopped work in his mid fifties and has been drawing on his pension ever since. When he stopped work he announced that he was never working again. I am twelve years younger than my husband and I work full time. I earn several hundred pounds a more each month than he gets in pension so he considers me to be rich. However, he does just about manage to still engage in an expensive hobby and has various loans and credit cards that he is paying off.
Last year I ended up paying for our summer holiday in full because, although he agreed to pay half when it was booked, when the time to pay the balance came he said he had no money. I had no choice but to pay, but said that he should provide all the spending money to make up some of the difference. On the holiday he complained loudly every time he was asked to buy just a drink and some evenings he refused to buy a single drink. After the holiday he did not stop going on about how much he had spent and how it wasn’t fair that he had to spend so much. He only spent 10% to 20% of what I paid for the holiday.
So, this year I said that I wasn’t prepared to pay for him to go on holiday. I suggested that just DD and I went away but she felt funny about it. I wrangled with my husband and said that he just had to pay for himself, I would pay for me and DD. He promised and promised me that he would pay up. I paid for extras like better flight times and the airport lounge without asking for him to share the cost. I told him that he needed to contribute half the spending money.
I’m offering no prizes for guessing what happened. At balance time he gave me half the cost of his own ticket and on the holiday begrudgingly paid for a few coffees. So I paid for me, DD, half of his ticket, activities, evening drinks etc.
I am seething.
But what has capped it off today is we had to buy a particular outfit for DD because she is taking part in his brother’s wedding next week. We had lunch while we were out, I said I couldn’t afford much as I’m living on fresh air for the rest of the month following the holiday costs. He dismissed this, took us to Wagamama and was annoyed when I wouldn’t pay. He also wanted me to pay for the outfit but as it’s his brother’s wedding I don’t see that it is my cost to bear. This evening he is complaining that I am less than generous!
And he told me this evening that keeping the house clean and tidy isn’t a man’s job! So apparently I should work full time, pay for everything and do all the housework.
He tells me I am always angry - I wonder why that would be!