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Original poster

OLD, why so much interest from younger men?

76 replies

Pinkmagic1 · 30/07/2023 19:15

I have tentatively dipped my toe into OLD after coming out of a very long marriage at the start of this year. At first I set the age preference within 5 years either side of my actual age, I am 44 BTW. I have had a steady stream of interest, but habe not had a lot of luck. Either ones who would be frightening over keen before you had even met, ones who match and then never reply to a message, or others that send inappropriate photos within a couple of hours of chatting.

A friend recommended changing my age perimeters, which I did yesterday. I have since been inundated with men in their early 30's, some really attractive. I have a young looking face, but would consider myself fairly average looking. Why would all these younger men be interested. I am absolutely baffled.

OP posts:
TheoTheopolis23 · 30/07/2023 21:05

Xrays · 30/07/2023 20:59

When I was dating, as a divorced single mum of one dd aged 5 (at the time, now an adult) there was no way I wanted to date an older man with his own children and all the stuff that came with that. I had enough of my own battles with my ex and whatever else and I wanted to have children free weekends to enjoy myself in a new relationship- if the new man had children himself chances are we’d aways have one set of children with us (whereas if just me they’d go to their dads). That’s why when I dated I specifically wanted someone younger. Dh was 22 when I met him, living at home. Not a “catch” on paper, but we liked each other and hit it off and it’s worked out well.

We are all different I guess!

Show quote history

But I specifically said they're generally childless women (unlike you) .. And thus they don't really understand the ins and outs of dating a father or of having a relationship and then family within a blended family etc situation.

They also tend to be very naive about why that man with kids ended up divorced/separated. The ex was crazy or they just didn't get on ... Mmm no.

Amy8 · 30/07/2023 21:08

Pinkmagic1 · 30/07/2023 19:15

I have tentatively dipped my toe into OLD after coming out of a very long marriage at the start of this year. At first I set the age preference within 5 years either side of my actual age, I am 44 BTW. I have had a steady stream of interest, but habe not had a lot of luck. Either ones who would be frightening over keen before you had even met, ones who match and then never reply to a message, or others that send inappropriate photos within a couple of hours of chatting.

A friend recommended changing my age perimeters, which I did yesterday. I have since been inundated with men in their early 30's, some really attractive. I have a young looking face, but would consider myself fairly average looking. Why would all these younger men be interested. I am absolutely baffled.

You're not old

And enjoy it Wink

Crimeismymiddlename · 30/07/2023 21:09

I did not realise this was a thing until I reached my forties. Sadly I attract the early twenties desperate types who were not very attractive/interesting and who I found to be very creepy, they also messaged the same message again and again. I would love attractive men in early thirties!

Xrays · 30/07/2023 21:10

TheoTheopolis23 · 30/07/2023 21:05

But I specifically said they're generally childless women (unlike you) .. And thus they don't really understand the ins and outs of dating a father or of having a relationship and then family within a blended family etc situation.

They also tend to be very naive about why that man with kids ended up divorced/separated. The ex was crazy or they just didn't get on ... Mmm no.

Show quote history

Oh yeah I know what you mean, I was just widening the conversation with my own experiences.

I guess the threads about age gap relationships always interest me.

RobinHoodsNan · 30/07/2023 21:13

Younger men don't have baggage, won't be boring you with stories of being tricked and taken to the cleaners by their exes.

hugefanofcheese · 30/07/2023 21:14

Dunno if you're old enough for it to be a fetish or anything. They maybe just want casual, no strings and women in their 30s are more likely to be looking to settle down and have families (I know not everyone is but generally). If they don't want to waste women's time then older.or younger makes sense.

Rooroobear · 30/07/2023 21:14

I suppose it depends what you’re looking for. Yes, a lot of younger men like the whole milf/older woman thing. Also, more likely to be experienced and know what you want/like which is a turn on for them. I can’t say I mind it….I like the whole no strings thing. If you don’t like it you should just set your ages again. Old is a minefield x

LightSpeeds · 30/07/2023 21:16

Zanatdy · 30/07/2023 19:52

Same happened to me when I signed up, some were much younger than my eldest son (I’m 47). They just want to shag a MILF. I lasted 24hrs on OLD and deleted my accounts, largely due to that, and fact I didn’t see anyone I fancied, young or same age

They'd be shagging a GILF in my case 😂

Rooroobear · 30/07/2023 21:19

shivermetimbers77 · 30/07/2023 20:51

Ooh, this is good news.. I joined OLD last week with the specific intent of finding some short term fun whilst my DC are away for summer with their dad.. I had set my age to 40-55 but will definitely expand it downwards and see what happens: would be VERY happy to have a summer fling with a younger man (or two) :D

Yes!! Love this. Have some fun, be careful but enjoy……nothing wrong with a fwb!!

TheoTheopolis23 · 30/07/2023 21:19

Xrays · 30/07/2023 21:10

Oh yeah I know what you mean, I was just widening the conversation with my own experiences.

I guess the threads about age gap relationships always interest me.

Show quote history

Yeah the range of opinions are always interesting.

I suppose I'd find younger men on average more physically attractive, but if I had the slightest idea that they thought they were taking advantage of me, doing me a favour, or using me, or being derogatory to their mates the way a lot of men do etc etc, it would turne right off. And the chances of that are quite high.

(Not if they only saw me, cause I"m generally perceived to be younger than I am ... I know everyone says that but I'm the sort of person who was being asked if I was a "half" (under 18) by bus drivers when I was 30. My Mum is the same, ppl used to be flabbergasted when I told them her age ..... But if they knew my age and were bantering & being derogatory a out it).

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 30/07/2023 21:20

SmileyClare · 30/07/2023 19:33

I think it’s a combination of things that makes 40+ women so popular for hook ups:

1 You’re sexually experienced and probably more confident in bed

2 You’re more likely to be financially independent and offer to pay on a date

3 You're more likely to own your own home so they don’t have to pay for a hotel room

4 You’re mature enough to say what you want without game playing and understand what No strings sex is.

Yes plus less likely to try and lock them down into marriage and babies like they think all women in their 30s want

YRGAM · 30/07/2023 21:20

From my POV (although happily married so not from personal opinion) and from speaking to other men about it, I'd say it's less about a fetish and more about younger men being attracted to what they see as confident women. A bonus is that they don't have to have the kids conversation, which can come up uncomfortably early in dating for men

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 30/07/2023 21:21

If you find any of them attractive though why not have some fun!

Deathbyfluffy · 30/07/2023 21:28

Floogal · 30/07/2023 20:36

Another explanation could be the uneven sex ratio. Therefore there is always a surplus of men desperate for any sex or attention. They're not going to be as picky. Sad but true

I know far more sexual attention seeking women than men, always posting flirty pictures on Instagram for ‘likes’ and such

TheoTheopolis23 · 30/07/2023 23:08

Deathbyfluffy · 30/07/2023 21:28

I know far more sexual attention seeking women than men, always posting flirty pictures on Instagram for ‘likes’ and such

Show quote history

That's attention, not sex.

In some cases it may also be financial - if they link to Instagram them to only fans or something

TheoTheopolis23 · 30/07/2023 23:11

When it comes to availability of real women for NSA sex - online, on sex sites, on swinging sites, at swinging meets etc
. It's always vastly men outnumbering women.

The swingers clubs have to have couple only or very limited single males rules.

And I've seen men complaint about how often profiles on sex, hook up, swinging etc sites often end up leading a winding road to prostitutes, not free sex.

TheoTheopolis23 · 30/07/2023 23:14

I read about swinging on here and had. Enough curiosity (not for taking part, no fkg way) about whether anything could possibly be happening in my little traditional, parochial, backward corner of the UK and I had to join fab or something to see.

I put my age, mid 40s, no pics at all, had over 100 messages from men in 24 hours.

lemmein · 31/07/2023 02:32

My friend is in her late 50s and gets pestered by much younger men on nights out - it's definitely a thing!

Harrypewter · 31/07/2023 07:24

This isn't new. Grabby a gran was the colloquial term back in the late 80s and early 90s.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 31/07/2023 08:04

If that's what you are looking for too then they are a good bet - better than the older men as their cocks are more likely to work, they can keep up, and they are often a good laugh as well. Middle aged men can drift towards the Victor Meldrew if not careful

😂 true

temosmail · 31/07/2023 09:13

We have to remember that men also like not using condoms and shooting their load inside. If they know you are unable to get pregnant it's better for them.

Masterofhappydays · 31/07/2023 09:18

TheoTheopolis23 · 30/07/2023 20:14

There's a bar/club in my hometown where this phenomenon is played out for real, as it were; it's hot a rep for being a divorced milf hang out. It had therefore become somewhere where tonnes of men in their 20*s and 30s congregate, waiting for the drink to flow and the milfs to get drunk enough to approach. Some have zero social skills and stand around walls in jeans and identical checked shirts holding a beer and staring at the "milfs" ... Wondering why they're not being swamped in this milf orgy they've been anticipating.

Haha this made me chuckle! Can picture this!

mermaidshreya8 · 04/11/2023 13:16

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ohsuzannah · 04/11/2023 16:53

An old saying went like this : " They don't tell, they don't swell, and they're as grateful as hell" !

LizMax · 23/01/2024 20:30

Omg.. that's gross..but hey I'm probably way too sensitive..Thank god I'm 57 and don't care if I ever have sex again and believe me I had enough in the past..There are some men will take as much as they can get away with.. Women have to take what they want too..If it's what both parties want at the time, it's no big deal really,we'll it shouldn't be.🙂

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