OLD, why so much interest from younger men?

[Pinkmagic1]

I have tentatively dipped my toe into OLD after coming out of a very long marriage at the start of this year. At first I set the age preference within 5 years either side of my actual age, I am 44 BTW. I have had a steady stream of interest, but habe not had a lot of luck. Either ones who would be frightening over keen before you had even met, ones who match and then never reply to a message, or others that send inappropriate photos within a couple of hours of chatting.

A friend recommended changing my age perimeters, which I did yesterday. I have since been inundated with men in their early 30's, some really attractive. I have a young looking face, but would consider myself fairly average looking. Why would all these younger men be interested. I am absolutely baffled.

It’s all over social media that women in their forties are perfect bed partners. Independent, financially secure, family done and less risk of pregnancy, a supposed high sex drive leading up to peri/menopause. It’s a whole load of patriarchal nonsense to my mind. Just more of the same treating women like play things.

My most irritating memory of OLD was the posts from young men calling me a MILF because I was mid thirties (but had no kids 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️). They seemed quite sure it was a compliment. I was still fuckable by some hot, fit guy so should be flattered. I wasn’t 🥴

Ah yes the "age is just a number" crew. OLD is absolutely awash with them. I'm decidedly average but in my 40s I was swamped with messages from really good looking younger guys.

As everyone else has said. They just want sex and to tick the older woman box. And yes also we usually have our own homes where they can relax in comfort! One of the first questions will be "do you live alone".

I'm not going to lie. I dabbled. But with both eyes open to what it was. But then one guy turned nasty and when I called him out on it, the things he said were so hurtful and crushing it put me off younger men forever! It showed me exactly what their true opinions/feelings are. To them the older women are a joke and as much as the older woman might feel empowered, that she's having great sex etc. These men see us as lower than low. Good sex isn't worth devaluing yourself for. Not in my opinion anyway.

Another explanation could be the uneven sex ratio. Therefore there is always a surplus of men desperate for any sex or attention. They're not going to be as picky. Sad but true

I stated my observation of men like this on a male dominated forum in a previous thread on this subject and was shouted down by women telling me that it's just those men, and my problem is Im applying it to.all men and being twisted by a few men's attitudes and it's not common.

As you found out - it is common, and it is lots of men.

It's predatory and derogatory and the niceness is just a cynical, fake front.

A milf with no kids .... The intelligence is not strong with these ones.

Men of all ages see women that way (yes, not all men etc). It's not specific to the younger man older woman scenario

Honestly ... women worry too much about what men 'really' think. Do you think a middle aged man gives a fuck if someone younger wants to have sex with him? Who cares about the reason why. That's their issue

Definitely

I care what they think when they think they're using me like a live flesh light.

That would turn me off therefore I'd want to know if I was considering sex with them.

It doesn't mean I care what they think like its valid ...just that I care what/how they think if I'm gonna be fucking them.

True

So where are the normal guys 40-55?
I'm 47
I get messages from the hot 30s men too.
Thanks @TheoTheopolis23 for clarifying all the reasons to avoid.
I get the messages from the guys 60+ . Nope no thank you.
My thinking is that normal guys who are also jaded with OLD are hanging out in other places like clubs for cycling, golf, sailing, running, etc etc.
Just wish I had more time to go there instead of working and parenting.
Impossible to date if you're a busy single mum in her 40s unless you want the hot young guns for quick shags (see above) or the geriatrics (ewww)

Up to you. If you aren't looking for a relationship with them though, who cares?

I couldn't care less. It's my orgasm first or no orgasm for them. It's transactional.

Maybe attached?

The younger ones aren't attached yet.

The older ones are more likely to be divorced with empty nest etc. The 40 something's are likely to still be in marriages & partnerships due to their relative youth )the relationships) and age of kids

Just a theory.

I found the same thing, my impression was that those who are looking for a relationship want a woman with her own house, a decent income and her shit together, essentially a mother to look after them, but with sex. Cocklodgers.

You'd imagine the single 40 sonething men would be in old too but maybe in short supply.

The other thing is that they may be going for 30 and late 20 somethings ... Not 40 something's. It's a string possibility given how ageist many men are.

Hence you've got the younger guys wanting a milf and the older guys who don't want you )or can't) go too young

*strong possibility

Ooh, this is good news.. I joined OLD last week with the specific intent of finding some short term fun whilst my DC are away for summer with their dad.. I had set my age to 40-55 but will definitely expand it downwards and see what happens: would be VERY happy to have a summer fling with a younger man (or two) :D

Some men just do genuinely fancy older women. It doesn’t necessarily mean they’re just after sex. My husband is quite a bit younger than me and I met him online and we’ve been together 15 years now. The only issue is really the whole having children thing - dh wanted children and I managed to squeeze one last one in before menopause (😆) so all good, but as long as you’re both honest with each other and don’t lead each other on in terms of what you both want it’s fine!

(And many late 20 and 30 yr old women will consider 40 something men for dating and relationships).

They're more likely to already have kids (the men) but that doesn't entirely put off 30 something women who, esp if they haven't had kids yet, are too naive about the reality of step.kids, blended families, divorced/separated fathers etc.

I know lots and lots of 20 and 30 something women who've had kids with older men with kids from previous relationships I don't know how they'll pan out but it doesn't put off lots of women.
I think they actually think they're more mature and experienced fathers. There are lots and lots of issues with that but they're too naive to see that.

Good luck meeting one with the skillz for that.

Most men are shite in bed in my experience.

When I was dating, as a divorced single mum of one dd aged 5 (at the time, now an adult) there was no way I wanted to date an older man with his own children and all the stuff that came with that. I had enough of my own battles with my ex and whatever else and I wanted to have children free weekends to enjoy myself in a new relationship- if the new man had children himself chances are we’d aways have one set of children with us (whereas if just me they’d go to their dads). That’s why when I dated I specifically wanted someone younger. Dh was 22 when I met him, living at home. Not a “catch” on paper, but we liked each other and hit it off and it’s worked out well.

We are all different I guess!

Lol well it's true that it takes some looking but tbh I haven't found it a problem since my mid 20s. I just put it top of my priority list and check them out on that basis alone. I'm not interested in sex unless they are highly skilled. No orgasm gap for me thank you

Have fun

😂 🙌 me neither and I have found younger men to be very good in this regard.