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Original poster

Dating a divorce man with 3 kids

49 replies

TinaTran · 30/07/2023 12:56

I’m 32 never been married with no kids. He’s 35 going through a divorce with 3 kids. He’s working on the road so he’s traveling to different states and he was here in my state for 5 months and that’s how we met. He’s currently in Memphis right now and traveling 5 hours almost every weekend to see me (we’ve only been dating for 2 months). He’s a pretty good dad to his kids. He said the reason for him to leave his wife is because he fell out of love for her and was unhappy with the marriage for so long (5 or 6 years he was trying to work things out with her) they’ve been married for 13 years. My gut is telling me to leave because I’ve never dated anyone with kids, but I’ve never felt such strong connection with someone so part of me don't wanna give up so soon and regret it later on. Before me he was dating another girl for 6 months and at that time he was separated with his wife but i know it was wrong because he was still married. when we first met i didn't know he was still married because he lied to me said he was already divorced i found out he was still married later on through FB i was angry at him for lied to me and he said he lied because i would never talked to him if i know the truth and he was going to getting a divorce anyways even if he didn't meet me. they are waiting on court for the divorce to be finalized now. should i stay or should i leave?

OP posts:
pikkumyy77 · 30/07/2023 12:57

No. Just NO.

Crumbcatcher · 30/07/2023 12:59

How is he a good dad if he's seeing you every weekend instead of seeing his kids?

SingingSongs · 30/07/2023 13:02

He’s already lied to you. Get rid.

Fidgety31 · 30/07/2023 13:02

If he was really single then he would be spending some of that weekend time seeing his kids . I don’t think he is being honest with you

UncleHerbie · 30/07/2023 13:03

He’s a proven liar: dump.

ThreeLittleDots · 30/07/2023 13:03

Why would you be with someone who jumps from woman to woman and seemingly hardly sees his kids?

Original poster
TinaTran · 30/07/2023 13:11

in the 2 months we’ve been dating he seeing his kids 3 times and each time he spent a week to 4 days there with them. His kids stay far away from him because of his job. He’s been taking vacation days from his job to see me and his kids.

OP posts:
Shopper727 · 30/07/2023 13:12

Great dad but instead of driving to see his kids every weekend he’s going to see you?
fab
not a chance I’d continue with him. I don’t want to live with someone else’s kids and I think you could meet someone who lives at least in the same area. I don’t think it’ll go anywhere tbh too much scope for him to lie about what he gets up to when ‘travelling’

TwilightSkies · 30/07/2023 13:13

Raise your standards!

mondaytosunday · 30/07/2023 13:15

How sustainable is this? He will be always travelling with his job and splitting his free time between you and his kids. If you want a part time partner with baggage, then fine. But if eventually decided to get married/have kids the situation will be the same fur you as for his ex - a part time husband/Dad.

Original poster
TinaTran · 30/07/2023 13:22

I agreed! My family likes him but they also told me that it would be very hard for me to stay with him because of he got baggage. He also going to quit his job and move here in the end of this year. He said he’s going to fly out there to see his kids or fly them here whenever they want.

OP posts:
CurlewKate · 30/07/2023 13:22

No. And if you're not ready to leave him yet-rock solid contraception. Controlled by you.

JodyMitchell · 30/07/2023 13:24

You are obviously an attractive and likeable person, that’s why this man wants to be with you. This also means that you will be able to find another man who:

  1. Lives close enough to be able to see you more easily
  2. Hasn’t got so many other important responsibilities
  3. Doesn’t have a history of lying

In fact, these things are the bare minimum that you should expect. There is no possibility that this relationship can make you happy.

You have to end this relationship and before you start another one you need to reflect on (and maybe get help with) working out why you don’t know what a viable relationship looks like.

Aquamarine1029 · 30/07/2023 13:25

Are you insane? This guy is a liar and a walking red flag? FFS, raise your bar! Why on EARTH would you burden your life with all of this sketchy man's baggage?

adriftabroad · 30/07/2023 13:26

Madness, he is not even divorced yet. He will not want to get married anytime soon after that and you are in your 30s.

No.

Aquamarine1029 · 30/07/2023 13:28

TinaTran · 30/07/2023 13:22

I agreed! My family likes him but they also told me that it would be very hard for me to stay with him because of he got baggage. He also going to quit his job and move here in the end of this year. He said he’s going to fly out there to see his kids or fly them here whenever they want.

He's going to quit his job and move to where you are? He's proclaiming this and he barely knows you? He thinks he can just fly whenever he wants to see his kids, who are sooo important to him. 🙄

You sound very, very naive if you believe any of this.

Feverly · 30/07/2023 13:32

Well there’s nothing to ‘leave’, is there? Some bloke you see sometimes over a few weeks.

No one should date a liar, the fact he’d rather travel 5 hours each weekend for sex rather than parent his kids should be repugnant.

SmirnoffIceIsNice · 30/07/2023 13:32

How's he going to do all this flying around, and paying for a place/bills, and paying for his kids if he's going to jack in his job?

You've only been seeing him 2 months. Once you've been together a while, and you get the reality of having to look after his kids when they visit, the future might not look so rosy.

He says he "fell out of love" with his wife? More like she got fed up him not being around to parent his own kids if he's regularly away.

Hes already lied to you once. If he's had 4 days-1 week seeing his kids on three occasions over the past 8 weeks then he can't have much vacation time left. I don't think he's being entirely honest with you here.

I'd get rid now before it gets any more serious.

Original poster
TinaTran · 30/07/2023 13:34

He got job offer here with the same company he working at. Tbh I don’t know if I want him to move here because I don’t think both of us would be happy. he wants us to move to his home which is California but I diagnosed with breast cancer 5 months ago I’m cancer free now I want to be close to my family because I need their support at this time. I know he’s being honest because he’s already moved his RV and most of his stuff here. He’s also taking the job offer here too!

OP posts:
Original poster
TinaTran · 30/07/2023 13:36

I totally agreed! Gut feelings said he’s not being completely honest well he’s already lied to me from the beginning 😂

OP posts:
Feverly · 30/07/2023 13:37

You’ve had conversations about moving with a man you’ve been around for a matter of hours? A man who lies to get women to date him? Who picks dating over his kids? Come on.

Thelnebriati · 30/07/2023 13:47

When you say ''he’s already moved his RV and most of his stuff here'', where's 'here'? Is it your house, your town or your State?
If its your house tell him its too fast and he needs to remove his things. Give him a deadline to do that.

Aquamarine1029 · 30/07/2023 13:49

Op, please be sensible and block this man completely out of your life. You know he's trouble, so stop wasting your time.

Flipin · 30/07/2023 13:52

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Original poster
TinaTran · 30/07/2023 13:54

you’re right

OP posts: