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Original poster

DH does nothing around the house

50 replies

MamFran · 28/07/2023 23:08

And it’s really starting to piss me off to the point where I’m thinking about leaving him.

every time he walks into the house or wakes up or gets home, his first thing to do is turn the TV on and lie on the sofa. Any days off work/at home he has, He slobs about all day and does nothing. watching films or watching shit videos on his phone. 3 films in one day he watched last Sunday - 3!!!!!

I have to ask him to do simple things like put HIS washing away or tidy up his mess in the kitchen.
I’ve been asking him for over a week now to cut the grass in the garden, still not been done!!

he calls me a nag but it’s because I have to ask him to do anything multiple times it’s SO frustrating and it make me so angry.

I just don’t think I can do this anymore. We both work full time, and it’s his home as well as mine so why should everything fall on me!!!

OP posts:
SwordToFlamethrower · 28/07/2023 23:26

Yeah kick the lazy, entitled, selfish manbaby out.
Your house will be cleaner without him and sounds like you'll be really happy too.

I couldn't love a man like this let alone consider ever having sex with him ever again. Urgh! What a turn off!

"I've decided never to nag you ever again.
Because you're leaving this house and never coming back. If anyone asks why, tell them it's because you're a lazy, selfish, manchild".

Mama678 · 29/07/2023 00:01

Its so frustrating. Id nag as he wasnt doing anything and he would say, all you have to do is tell me what needs to be done! Like im in charge of the jobs 😂 fuck that.

INeedAnotherName · 29/07/2023 00:04

He won't change. Ever.

Either leave or accept this is your life for years. If you want children then definitely get out, he's not father material.

Mammadibambini · 29/07/2023 02:12

Why don’t you do the same? Before he turns on the tv, put what you want on and lie down. If he says anything say don’t nag 😂 It sounds very annoying.

Parker231 · 29/07/2023 02:36

If he slobs about not doing anything when he’s not at work how are his clothes getting washed, his food shopping getting done or his meals cooked?

IggyAce · 29/07/2023 02:42

Start by doing nothing for him, no washing or cooking. Today you sit and watch 3 movies.

SunRainStorm · 29/07/2023 03:16

Kick him out.

What good is he?

Somewhereovertherainbowweighapie · 29/07/2023 03:26

Think of it as training a teenage son. Start training him to be an adult. Stop mothering him. Don’t ask him to do anything, just let him live with the consequences of his inaction. Leave his mess out. Even if it kills you. Use his dirty plates to serve his dinner on. Or maybe you do the garden, but don’t do any of his washing or make his dinner that night. But if you want to leave that would be easier. Can you send him back to his parents, or just re home him.

PermanentTemporary · 29/07/2023 04:05

Right, you married this guy. Was he like this then? Is this a complete personality and lifestyle change?

I think I'd expect my partner to have an interest in why, if I suddenly became someone who never did anything.

If he's always been like this and it's unbearable (I can see why) then have a conversation with the man to say you think you've grown apart and should look to separate. Then get some therapy to find out why on earth you married someone you have nothing in common with.

MrsTerryPratchett · 29/07/2023 04:11

he calls me a nag

DH tried that once. I told him, no exaggeration, that if he ever used that word again, I would divorce him. What it says is, 'I hate women but want them to do things for me while not complaining or getting their needs met'. It's scummy.

I'd divorce yours. But if you want change, you'll have to actually demand it, not hopefully wait.

mathanxiety · 29/07/2023 04:57

Do you have children?

Divorce him anyway.

Flutterbye22 · 29/07/2023 06:17

Had the exact same experience with my ex. Everything in the home fell to me and we both worked full time. He’d always make excuses not to cut the grass and I did the majority of household chores like the food shopping, meal planning, laundry, cleaning. In the end I hired cleaners to help me as it got too much, but I eventually left him (no children)

hippygirllucky · 29/07/2023 06:23

I had an ex who had a dad like this (when I was a teenager). Even as a kid I looked at this man like a lazy slob and only had admiration for his mum, mixed with confusion as to why she stayed.

I'd just do the old "only doing my bit" thing. Stop doing his laundry, stop cooking his meals. Stop everything for him. See if he notices.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 29/07/2023 06:43

Don't get pregnant.

He sounds boring and unattractive, tbh. What drew you to him?

crew2022 · 29/07/2023 07:04

Tell him enough is enough.
Do your washing and clean your mess not his.
Ask him what's for dinner
Let him go shopping
Cut the grass if it bothers you but expect him to have made dinner while you do it
Stop enabling him to live in a nice clean environment with clean clothes.
If he doesn't step up and do his half then I would definitely plan to leave. It won't get any better and if you want children you will resent him even more

DustyLee123 · 29/07/2023 07:06

I stopped asking DH to do stuff because I got the impression he thought I was a nag. So it worked for him, but the resentment is high. We won’t be staying together.

Noicant · 29/07/2023 07:13

Imagine how much nicer it will be when he’s not cluttering the place up.

AutumnCrow · 29/07/2023 07:16

Blokes like this always seem to make a mess and produce a lot of washing. They never live unobtrusively - they indulge in performative slobbing and inflict it on others.

And yes, some of them do do it at work and leave messes for women to clean up.

Gerrataere · 29/07/2023 07:26

Do you know what ‘nag’ actually means? It means you asked him to do something and he ignored it, then you asked again and he still chooses to ignore it. ‘Nag’ means ‘I hear you asking me something and I don’t care for it. I don’t care for you or for respecting your feelings, only mine matter and I want to be left alone. Your purpose here is to serve me and be quiet about it’.

cuckyplunt · 29/07/2023 07:30

I will NOT be called a nag. If you did the perfectly reasonable thing I asked you to do, when I asked you to do it, then I would not have to ask again.
Chuck him, it might scare him into shaping up and if not then you’ve dumped a dead weight.

cuckyplunt · 29/07/2023 07:31

Is there anything less sexy than a man lying on a sofa?

Flutterbye22 · 29/07/2023 07:52

cuckyplunt · 29/07/2023 07:31

Is there anything less sexy than a man lying on a sofa?

Nope, there is not!

Oblomov23 · 29/07/2023 08:33

Why did you marry him then?

Mammalifewithtwo · 29/07/2023 08:37

I could have wrote this, and no matter how much I "Nag" him he still doesn't do the things I ask! I come downstairs on a morning and have to literally do safety checks for our toddler to make sure there's no unsafe items left around.