Starting again on your own in your early thirties - does it get better than this?

[123easyasabc]

Hello, first time poster so please be gentle! Although I have been a long time lurker.

I know this has been to death but I'm having a bit of a low day and wondered if anyone could give me some words of wisdom.

I had a long term relationship (7 years) which ended a couple of years ago and then I met a man who I was seeing for a year which just ended several weeks ago. It was totally out of the blue for me and I'm quite surprised at just how devastated I am. Well maybe devastated is a bit overdramatic, but I have been really, really upset. Only a few weeks ago we were making lifelong plans.

I'm in my early thirties, now single, no kids and wondering is this it for my life? I know it sounds so silly and people will say I am young (perhaps not for having children - I know my chances are diminishing by the year) but I just feel like everyone has it together in happy relationships and I'm on my own again with another failed relationship behind me.

I have a good professional job, I own my own house, I have my own car, I have some lovely friends (not many, but ones I really value). I recently went somewhere where there were lots of old friends, and friends of friends, and without sounding big headed, a lot of people kept saying to me they couldn't believe that me out of everyone was single (I honestly don't mean to sound bigheaded!). I get told usually by other women that I'm attractive, and I don't think I'm too bad, so I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong. I keep thinking of the phrase you can be the juiciest peach and some people just don't like peaches.

I would love to have the fairytale where I meet my Prince Charming and we have a family. I know that's everyones dream but at the moment I am feeling pretty flat. I'm trying to do everything right like the youtube videos and blogs say, I'm trying to eat well, exercise, sleep, see friends, keep busy. I'm doing it all and I still feel rubbish. I took myself on a shopping date today and bought a few nice things, had a nice lunch on my own and it felt like everybody around me was having a lovely day out with their partners or families. I see women with newborns and it makes me worried I will never get to experience that. I think I am generally a little sensitive at the moment as I have a close family member with very poor ill health who I am very involved with.

I know this is incredibly first world problems, but just wondered if anyone else felt the same or has any words of wisdom for this ridiculous, early thirties singleton, who has now got wet eyes typing all of that out! Gosh I feel silly. Thanks for reading if you made it this far.

I think having your own home makes a massive difference. I think deep down part of the reason I was panicking so hard in my early thirties was I was broke, in a shit job, with no hope of buying my own home. It's one thing telling women to be happy alone, but it's hard to be happy when facing a bleak future of poverty and flat sharing in your forties and fifties.

I bought last year right after turning 37, and I felt so much stress dissipate when I did so. It's crazy for me to think that in just 3 or 4 years, I managed to turn my life around. I purposely didn't date last year at all because I wanted to focus on buying. I get so much joy now out of tiny things, like walking into my kitchen that's all mine, always clean, with the exact coffee machine I wanted, the artwork I chose on the walls, the plants I bought, etc.

I hear couples arguing all the time and I just think, I couldn't fucking deal with that. I just couldn't. Being able to do what you want is such a privilege.