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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Told OW I didnt care about her feelings.

35 replies

whyisntanelephantblue · 27/07/2023 21:20

The day before yesterday I posted that my ex slept with his friend and it wasn't a one-time thing - They'd been sleeping together a few months. OW has since told a small group of my friends that I made Ex break up with her and now she's struggling because she's "pregnant" and how its too far along to terminate it now. She got someone to drive her to my flat and wait then bombarded me as I left for a morning jog.

She talked a while and said how sorry she was but I didnt have to make Ex cut her off. When I told her I'd blocked my ex on everything she called me a petty bitch and said I ruined everything. She had an almost full on meltdown and I calmly responded with "I dont care about your feelings right now. Nor will I ever, leave me alone"

At this point Im ready just to pack my things and leave to stay with my Mum for a while in my old bedroom. I'm so done with this drama

OP posts:
laalaaland · 27/07/2023 21:22

WTF? good for you. the bloody cheek of the woman. I don't think i could have stayed so calm and reasonable with her.

AliceMcK · 27/07/2023 21:23

If he’s your ex, how are you making him do anything?

Also I wouldn’t care about OWs feeling either.

squashi · 27/07/2023 21:24

Didn't see your other thread OP, and sorry you're going through this, but that was a great response to her.

IncompleteSenten · 27/07/2023 21:25

Fair enough imo. Neither of them deserve anything from you.

Dontknowwhyidoit · 27/07/2023 21:28

Are you living with your ex or do you just want to spend time with your mum ? I wouldn't be leaving my home to avoid her. Tell her to fxxx off and not darken your door again if she comes back. Any issues she has needs to be directed at your ex, you owe her nothing.

Cloud992 · 27/07/2023 21:29

Good for you OP!

so good to see he’s your EX now too!
likely that if OW is pregnant, ex didn’t want any responsibility and used you as an excuse.
scumbag!

drpet49 · 27/07/2023 21:30

Haha silly woman deserves all she gets.

Original poster
whyisntanelephantblue · 27/07/2023 21:46

@Dontknowwhyidoit I kicked him out day before yesterday. I dont condone cheating. Its an instant dealbreaker for me, Im half tempted to go visit for a couple weeks, got annual leave coming up, might see if I can take my fortnight off a bit earlier ahead of schedule.

OP posts:
Mayhem3 · 27/07/2023 22:00

Why would he cut all contact with her? What a shitty thing for him to do.
He sounds like a right charmer.

You are right not to care though as it’s not your problem and you don’t owe her or anyone else an explanation.

Canthave2manycats · 27/07/2023 22:02

Tell her you will call the police if she comes anywhere near you again! She's deranged!

NSA2103 · 27/07/2023 22:11

I sympathise with what you are going through. Personally I'd avoid SM, and maintain dignified silence outside your close circle. I wish you well.

FairAcre · 27/07/2023 22:18

Definitely go and visit your mum and let them get on with it. This OW seems a bit obsessed with you. She has been instrumental in ruining your relationship- why on earth would she thing you would have any sympathy for her.

HamBone · 27/07/2023 22:22

What has this got to do with you? If your ex doesn’t want to speak to her, that’s between them.

I think going away is a good idea, take care of yourself first and foremost, they’re welcome to each other ( or not).

TheoTheopolis23 · 27/07/2023 22:53

So he's not only a cheater but he's impregnated his ow and now dropped out of contact with her.

She's obviously horrified and hurt etc that hes dropped out of contact with her at all but a hundred times more if she's pregnant with his child.

She cannot process or accept hat that's his decision/wish so she's come up with a narrative that you told him to.cut her off or that he's cutting her off to try to win you back.

She's in for a very harsh awakening.

Though, it has to be said, if you don't take him back and he have got anyone else on the scene; he may get back in contact with her and may continue the relationship in some form if he's one of those guys who can't be alone and takes any sexual opportunity that's given. He'll also be under massive pressure from everyone, and from his own conscience (such as it is) to be involved with the baby, and by association, her.

TheoTheopolis23 · 27/07/2023 22:55

You obviously are going to have to block both of them and make it clear to her that if she contacts or approaches you again, you'll speak to the police a out harassment.

Note down this first incident for future reference, there needs to be a pattern.

TheoTheopolis23 · 27/07/2023 22:57

What has this got to do with you? If your ex doesn’t want to speak to her, that’s between them.

Ow has convinced herself that op is making him act this way because he just couldn't possibly be acting this way himself.

Cheating fucker who's cheated on his partner for months with her but she hasn't copped on he's a complete shit.

HamBone · 27/07/2023 22:58

@TheoTheopolis23 Yes, she’s delusional! Tbh, they’re both well rid of him.

AdoraBell · 27/07/2023 22:59

Well said 👏 I read this to my DH and he said 👍.

Pluffe · 27/07/2023 23:47

Fuck her. And him. Why should you give a shit about their sorry little mess? Fair play to you.

Hibiscrubbed · 28/07/2023 07:00

NSA2103 · 27/07/2023 22:11

I sympathise with what you are going through. Personally I'd avoid SM, and maintain dignified silence outside your close circle. I wish you well.

She meant she posted a thread on here.

MissingMoominMamma · 28/07/2023 07:05

Good for you, OP.

I think getting away would be a good idea. Leave them both to their drama and focus on moving on. Best of luck for your future.

Wheresmyrobe · 28/07/2023 07:28

She is one crazy bitch that's for sure. And she has a real cheek to approach you. If she comes back then call the police.

twoshedsjackson · 28/07/2023 12:52

She has lost sight of the old adage, "If he cheats with you, he'll cheat on you".
The reality is hitting hard, but that is no concern of yours.

Purplecatshopaholic · 28/07/2023 12:58

I wouldn’t give a shit either op. About her feelings, or his. If she is pregnant, well she, and he, need to discuss/sort it, it’s not your drama. Get on with enjoying your new, better, life!

Hoppinggreen · 28/07/2023 13:00

I think you were remarkably restrained to be honest, well done.
Its easier for her to believe that you have made your ex dump here than accept the fact he’s an arsehole and she’s not special