Guy cancelled first date but stil texting?

[Anomynousdragon]

It's the first ime I've dated in 10 years so not sure how to behave.

Started talkigbto someone online dating about 2 weeks ago, exchanged numbers. Was supposed to meet today but he said he wouldn't be in town as he was WFH due to working late yesterday and being tired today. I figured he was just making his excuses so simply said thanks for letting me know and feel better soon but he is still texting me. Is it worth texting back or just leave it? I don't want to pester if he has lost interest and simply being polite but not sure I'm reading too much into it?

Having OLD in the past there are some guys who will repeat this pattern of arrange a date then cancel. It often turns out to be either timewasting because they have others they are chatting to who they deem a higher priority or part of a scam where they are trying to form an emotional connection with a long term plan to hook you into some money making scheme. If you keep chatting, have your wits about you. Once could absolutely be genuine, but just tread carefully moving forward.

I haven't responded since last week and he's messaging again today. 😕 I'm just leaving it still.

He’s still not tried to rearrange a new date?

Bloody penpals, I used to let them do that but not any more.

He's more interested in someone else and you are his back up. If he were genuinely interested, he wouldn't let it go another week of low contact/no new date after cancelling the other after a lame excuse. Block, delete and move on.

If he was interested he'd have suggested another date. He didn't and it's been many days since his last message, so I'd definitely move on.

Timewaster.

Just block him then!!! It’s very simple. 😁

I'd just ask him if he wants to rearrange. If he doesn't reply or answer the question then send a closure text so you can both move on.

Fizzle out? No it's not rude. Just stopping replying (in effect, ghosting)? Yes, it's rude.

Why do people recommend "just blocking" without any abuse or harassment. It's rude and cowardly, and the kind of thing 12 year olds do... Why can't people just be civil and reply that they aren't interested in taking things further, and end things that way rather than ghosting.

I'd just ask him if he wants to rearrange.

No. She should have some self-respect! He cancelled for a pretty lame reason. If he can't instigate a meeting after that, he's not worth it.

In a situation like this I would just call and have a chat on the phone- rather than being left wondering that's the best way to see if they seem like a total weirdo or someone you could have fun on a date with. Make it very clear that last min cancelling isn't acceptable again though

Block him - life is too short to faff about explaining why you don't wish to see the lazy git again.

He will be a seasoned online dater and will have several women he’s chatting to on the go. You will be a back up.

This.
Word for word.

Just block him and move on. He is flaky and you deserve SO much better!

God no - don't give him time to arrange a second date. He's had plenty of that already and couldn't be more clearer in his intentions to keep you as a back up.

What pps said.

I've let things drag on before, and tbh these guys know EXACTLY what they are doing - it's called "breadcrumbing". It's not "being busy" or communication differences.

There's no point wasting your time trying to "analyse" them.

They like the attention/ego boost from you.

They don't want to meet and dont see you as someone valuable enough to be in their social or dating circle (Or maybe if you sent them fifty sexts and told them they could turn up any time they liked at yours).

If they get back in touch, it's not that they are scared of losing contact - they don't want to lose the power trip of feeling you're "waiting on them".

There may be bullshit excuses and flowery words, but these take 2 seconds to type.

He’s already had a week to request a new day and time and hasn’t done so. The time to request it was the same time he cancelled, “Hi, I’m sorry I’m going to have to cancel as I’m so tired, but I would love to reschedule if possible. I’m available anytime except Mondays”, if he’d have done that it would have been fine.

I'd also agree 100% to just block. How attached can you get to pixels on the screen?

If you say "I'm not sure you want to meet", or be honest, the "game" will continue and he may come up with flowery words and a promised date to "keep you on the hook" before cancelling again.

I also have found its used as a trick to get sexting/you to drop your boundaries and suggest he just "comes over".

like say you arrange another date, then on the day it's uncertain, then you're looking forward to it, and then he "doesn't feel like going out". Then it ends up a "turning up at his" situation.

I just dumped my own fella for being flaky.
& a few other things.
If I ever date again, flakiness will be my biggest red flag. Honestly cut your losses and move on.

If it was me, I'd give him a fortnight to make another plan and stick to it, and be on alert for any other signs of faffing and not being into me.

If he gives another excuse for not meeting up, he's probably a catfish.

Weak excuse
I’d give him one more chance but let him do the arranging.

He sounds like one of the time-wasters who love to 'chat' but never really want to meet. If he was keen on you he wouldn't have cancelled with such a feeble excuse. Personally I would probably stop talking to him but if you don't want to to do that, a the very least dial right back on the messaging and let him suggest another date. If he hasn't within the next few days, time to block.

He’s treating you as a void filler. Don’t stand for it.

Unless he’s a toddler, being a bit tired isn’t good enough. Going on a date should be exciting!