I have no friends. I’m so lonely

[xLDx]

That’s it really. I have nobody. The odd person will text me occasionally but I don’t have anyone I can talk to. I have a fiancé, but he spent the whole day today in a separate room and then walked out when I called him out for it. I used to spend a lot of time with my sister but she won’t talk to me now because I could no longer look after her children daily, so she says I made her lose her job.
I’ve sat here all day today, not speaking or interacting with anyone and I wonder if I’m the problem. I sometimes feel like I can barely hold a conversation anymore or people just don’t see me as someone they want to know. I literally feel invisible. I just want some real friends that I can make plans with and talk to but it seems like the hardest thing to get. I was writing a guest list for my wedding and it’s actually embarrassing not having anyone to add, apart from a few family members.
I can’t really join clubs or classes because I have young children and no childcare.

Sorry to hear this OP. Didn’t want to read and run. Are there any groups for mothers and kids you can go along to? How old are your children? Any other family? It’s really important to carve out some time for yourself as well. I’m assuming you don’t work. Could that be an option?

Making friends as an adult is hard, just to let you know you aren't alone!

I don’t have any other family. I do work full time but even though I chat to people at work, it doesn’t seem to go anywhere on the outside and even when I’m at work I feel invisible. There are times when I’m sat in a room full of people chatting and I’m just being ignored. My children are 11 and 5. Thank you for your reply

Thank you

It's awful to feel that way OP. Sounds like you were finding some comfort in socializing with your sister but she expects indefinite childcare of you?
Of course you didn't make her lose her job, it's her responsibility to sort out something, unless you gave her very short notice.
Is your fiance generally distant or was that a one off today?

Can you volunteer with a charity? Do you have any sort of faith? Could you seek out a religious group that you are affiliated with? How about the gym? These are a couple of ideas. Is there any chance that you could be be suffering from depression? Sometimes that can really hold you back.

It’s not a one off with him. He goes from one extreme to the other. He has a bit of a temper so it can be difficult knowing how to handle him or what to say.
I work full time and leave work to get my children then had to pick her and her kids up from her kids school, drop her to work, give her kids dinner etc then pick her up from work and drop her home every day - even when her partner was able to and it was leaving me shattered by the end of every day but obviously she wasn’t happy with me and now her partner “isn’t happy with me” and doesn’t want me around, so neither does she.

I’m not religious. I don’t really have time to volunteer because I work full time. I’d like to go to the gym but don’t have the money really.
I wouldn’t be surprised if I have a bit of depression. I suffer with anxiety mainly

I feel like this at times, it is difficult when your work full time and have 2 kids. I have though thrown myself into volunteering at one of the clubs my kid goes to, I've made new acquaintances it might lead to something and it might not but I enjoy the role I do and.m helps me fill a void I may feel.

I might try volunteering for something maybe. It’s worth a try. Thank you for replying

I think you need to get rid of the fiancé. It’s not good to have an angry man around children, or around anyone.
Do you get on with anyone at work that you could have an occasional night out with? Take the children to clubs so you get to meet the other parents.

The Peanut suggestion is a good one.

How about a club that has sections for both adults and children e.g. karate.

I feel the same op it's really hard as an adult to make friends and I seem to have lost the few I had when I was made redundant afew years ago. Or people have got so flaky after covid. My best friend ghosted me after I told him I was struggling with my anxiety so that was another kick in the teeth when I was feeling low. I would say try to carve out me time don't not do things because you feel you don't have anyone to do it with. Reach out on here plenty of us feel the same. You sound hard working lovely and loyal I don't understand why it happens to people like us. Take care x

Thank you- I will look into Peanut. I hope things get better for you too x

If you have young kids and can carve out time to volunteer, you could offer to help
with the school’s PTA. That way you would meet people in the school community and come together through a common cause to make new friends as well as doing something worthwhile for your kids’ school x

Thank you for sending such a lovely response when you are struggling yourself. I hope things improve for you too x

After your update
Sorry to say this about your sister but - Good riddance! You can't live your life this way looking after her kids every day and running around like a taxi driver, especially after a full days work and caring for your own family. I bet she and her DH understand full well the impact it's had on you but didn't give a toss as long as you were there to do it for them. Now they are "punishing" you, which only shows how selfish and ungrateful they are. Please don't let them bring you down. You've done far more than I ever would in that situation.
Regarding work, I've had places like this myself where people easily got into different groups/cliques that I felt excluded from. I've also had other experiences with good colleagues that I could talk to - nothing deep but we could at least have a laugh, vent or chit chat. Just luck of the draw unfortunately with people.

I could try to see if any work colleagues would like to meet up. I feel so uncomfortable putting myself out there. I’ll try set up some play dates with some of the mums maybe. I’m just never involved most of the time as my kids go to the breakfast club so I don’t see the mums and they all disappear after school! I suppose there’s no harm in trying though. Thank you

The PTA is a good idea. Thank yoi

I agree with you. It’s just hard but I’ll get used to it eventually.

Whereabouts are you/how old are you? There might be mumsnetters nearby. Although I understand you might not want to say.

Friendship in adulthood is a bit of a lottery. The peanut app sounds a good plan. It takes time to build things up - a network of new acquaintances could be fruitful. Hang in there x

I really hear and feel you. Ive had alot of losses over the last 2 years, people i thought id always be close to and its literally dwindled down to 1 good friend. My partner also cheated on friday so im now completely alone in a house aswell. I have no advice unfortunately but you are not alone and can message me if you need a chat x

I have maybe 2 other people i have superficial conversations with but only one friend who is actually very busy so i feel like i cant talk to her or make plans alot of the time. I completely get you.