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Original poster

FWB

36 replies

Lookingforlove2022 · 21/07/2023 16:58

Having a FWB with a man, the sex is ok, he's really difficult to communicate to, I have to start off conversations, ask questions etc..., he never really asks about me.

Earns a lot of money but is really tight

If I text he responds 4-5 days later or never replies to me.... ( even after reading the message )

Obviously he does not respect me at all, so why can't I just say fuck off????

I think part of me was hoping that he would change but obviously he's not going to do so.

Not sure what I am sayingSmile

OP posts:
Captain1 · 21/07/2023 17:09

Sounds like he’s married

yellowsmileyface · 21/07/2023 17:09

Why would he change? It sounds like the way he is is working out just fine for him.

I wouldn't even tell him to fuck off. I'd just block and delete his number.

Celynfour · 21/07/2023 17:11

Why does it sound like he’s married ?

ComtesseDeSpair · 21/07/2023 17:16

It sounds as though you’re looking for more than a FWB. He wants easy casual sex with no strings. He doesn’t want to know the “inner you” or spend his money on you. You want communication and dating and getting to know each other - essentially a relationship. End things with him and find the relationship you want with somebody else.

ImtheFlag · 21/07/2023 17:23

More like a fuck buddy rather than FWB it sounds like?

Did you discuss expectations?

Original poster
Lookingforlove2022 · 21/07/2023 17:26

Yes we fully discussed FWB,

Just doesn't make sense really, but it's too much like hard work!

Meant to be going to his house next week let's see if that happens!

OP posts:
MaxwellCat · 21/07/2023 17:28

This is why I wouldn't do fwb im guessing he wasn't an actual friend someone you met old etc? I never get why people think they will find a fwb old its a FB most of the time as there is no actual friendship thats the difference between the two but women call it a "fwb" to make it sound better

DontYouThreatenMeWithADeadFish · 21/07/2023 17:30

A FWB relationship should not be this hard and he should not be living rent free in your head like this. Just because you are in a relaxed non exclusive relationship does not mean that any kind of basic respect or manners go out the window. Probably time to call this a day.

Stratocumulus · 21/07/2023 17:31

When it’s right you know it’s right.

I don’t think he’s right for you (in any capacity) so not worth the effort.

Bin him.

yellowsmileyface · 21/07/2023 17:32

Relationships in general shouldn't be hard work, but especially not something casual. FWB is supposed to be easy and convenient.

Why are you letting this person have power over you?

Dery · 21/07/2023 17:36

“It sounds as though you’re looking for more than a FWB. He wants easy casual sex with no strings. He doesn’t want to know the “inner you” or spend his money on you. You want communication and dating and getting to know each other - essentially a relationship. End things with him and find the relationship you want with somebody else.”

This.

And this:

“Relationships in general shouldn't be hard work, but especially not something casual. FWB is supposed to be easy and convenient.

Why are you letting this person have power over you?”

I’ve done casual but I would struggle to have intimacy with someone who was so indifferent to me. It’s not okay for you either so move on.

PimpMyFridge · 21/07/2023 17:38

Feb is meant to be easy breezy and fun.
What you've got is the opposite.
Could understand it if the sex was blowing your mind, but it's not.

Original poster
Lookingforlove2022 · 21/07/2023 17:38

I am able to chat to most people but he is so guarded and just not able to want a conversation that makes it difficult.

You are all right he messages other people, but obviously not bothered about anything to do with me.

Sex isn't even all that.....

Just not worth the effort

OP posts:
PimpMyFridge · 21/07/2023 17:38

Think you just needed to think it out loud.

TapasTime · 21/07/2023 17:41

If the sex is only 'ok' is it even worth bothering with him anymore? There must be loads of guys queuing up for FWB who might be mind blowing in bed!

Original poster
Lookingforlove2022 · 21/07/2023 17:42

I want to discuss it with him but he won't speak on the phone or text!

I have deleted his number too

OP posts:
YellowBunnies · 21/07/2023 18:45

Good decision. He sounds like a loser. Rude and unimpressive in bed: what's the point?!

Summer2424 · 21/07/2023 18:50

Hi @Lookingforlove2022 not worth your time hun, you deserve better xx

Celynfour · 21/07/2023 20:59

How old are you both ?
when you say you ‘fully discussed FWB’ , in what way did you understand the arrangement ?

FiddleLeaf · 21/07/2023 21:04

Lookingforlove2022 · 21/07/2023 17:26

Yes we fully discussed FWB,

Just doesn't make sense really, but it's too much like hard work!

Meant to be going to his house next week let's see if that happens!

I don’t know why you’re letting him have all the power.

He’s a crap communicator and just ok in bed. Is there anything that makes him FWB worthy?

doitwithlove · 21/07/2023 21:29

You have deleted his number, now move on.

RachelTopliss · 21/07/2023 21:47

He's no friend is he?

Original poster
Lookingforlove2022 · 21/07/2023 22:06

No he's not but could it be because he's shy or is afraid of getting hurt and keeps his guard up?

OP posts:
hev126 · 21/07/2023 22:06

If the sex is just "ok" it's not what I'd be looking for in a FWB situation

If the main point is sex it should at least be good

arethereanyleftatall · 21/07/2023 22:16

Op - why on Earth are you bothered whether he likes you or not?
Have you paid much heed to whether you like him or not.
But you've described him as tight, bad at communicating, and the sex is shit.
So why are you interested? It doesn't make any sense.