I’m the same.
TBH I think it’s a combination sometimes. I think that people are flaky. I also think that once people reach a certain age or life stage they’ve made their friends and don’t necessarily feel they need to make any more.
And friendship isn’t really something you can force, you have to cultivate it and that’s so difficult.
So with a relationship for instance you can join a dating app and the intention is clear. But asking people to be your friend just comes across as needy.
It bothered me until fairly recently actually. That people would never bother with me, never reply to messages wrt meeting up etc, or would once and I’d then never hear from them again.
But After the last time when my DP talked me into going with him to meet up with someone he’d had some association with, we had a good time and they never even responded to the text saying thank you for a lovely night etc.
People on here told me I was unreasonable, that I should reach out to them next, so DP sent her a message asking if they wanted to come to winter wonderland with us as it’s good for the kids etc. I was then told on here that that was too needy, too much to ask, and unreasonable. Except that after they never replied, they checked into winter wonderland a week later.
I mean just saying they were already going would have been perfectly understandable, but blanking someone rather than responding says it all IMO.
But now I’ve reached a strange acceptance. I don’t have friends, never will have friends, and I’ve spent too long feeling rejected and wondering what I’ve done wrong.
So I’ve resigned myself to being a recluse.