No close friends

[cakebytheoceon]

Ok so I admit my anxiety and depression isn't the best at the moment but I just feel so sad lately with the fact I have no close friends. It's difficult to explain, I have lots of friends but I just feel like I'm nobody's go to friend if that makes sense? I feel so silly feeling like this because I'm mid thirties with a lovely husband and 3 children. I just rarely get invited anywhere and when I do I just feel a bit awkward and out of the click these days. Please tell me I'm not the only one 😩

Me too

I’m the same. I’ve got a couple of friends I meet up with every 4-6 weeks but we don’t really contact each other much in between. I was really ill over Xmas and NY and didn’t even get a text. I do feel lonely and sad sometimes but then I look at people I know who are really close with their best friends - daily contact, always texting, speak regularly and see each other all the time - I genuinely couldn’t be arsed with that level of closeness. I’d feel suffocated by it.

I feel exactly the same OP.
Recently had some problems with my DH, and realised i had no one close by that i could turn to and just run out and meet up with etc.
I have a couple of friends that i see every few months as they dont live near me and we dont speak much inbewtween.
We have friends where we live, but no one that would put me first, that i have constant contact with etc. No one close by that would invite me out. The women i know up here meet up together sometimes, message each other all the time and are close friends but ive just never been included in this way. Its lonely. I do find it hard to make friends. But your definately not alone.

I've questioned friend behaviour so many times. I'm lucky I have a fairly wide circle of friends but most of them are married/in relationships or live further away. I don't have many close friends who are near me. I've realised that lots of people just have different needs and wants from friendships. My closest friend has lots of family and a huge circle of friends so her needs from our relationship are probably completely different to mine. Its hard to accept sometimes though.

I have a friend that has no real close friends (although she does have a sister) and I think it’s because she’s a very closed and private person, she never tells you the full story, only the good bits. “We’ve bought a new house and we are so happy and settled” was actually “we bought a new house and it had terrible structural problems that weren’t picked up on, we had a cry over it but now we’re getting sorted” which was the actual story we heard from their relative. “My children are so perfect together” is actually “I can’t put my youngest down on the floor because the eldest is probably going to launch a toy at their head”. It’s hard to relate/get close to someone so secretive about their life. They make you feel shit because your life isn’t this perfect but actually I now realise their life isn’t perfect it’s just what they want you to know.
I also think friendships take a lot of work to maintain if you want to become really close. Meeting up regularly and always being there.

Yorkshire is the best I wish I was but more North West!

I have no friends, no partner, no children and no siblings. My closest friend is the lady at the greengrocers who I speak with for about 10 minutes every other week. I got used to it now.

Have any of you tried Bumble BFF for meeting friends IRL? I met one of my very good friends through there, but you do have to be mindful that some people just want to chat and don't want to actually meet up which is a bit odd

No, it's normal to not have any close friends. Especially once you've got your own partner/family.

No friends here not since I was at school. Everyone just seems too busy and my time is so precious with little children any downtime I get I don't want to spending with anyone that's a fairweather friend.

Wow I wish I had support though I'm drowning with life. I'd gladly offer support to someone else too. I only have my husband no other family. Things are rocky so I really worry how I will cope completely on my own. Its very lonely.

What FB name shall i call the group? Ill set one up

Crikey that’s a tricky one. I’d say something like Mumsnet friends or is that way too simple.

I would be interested in a FB group!

I feel the same! Definitely up for a FB group!

I am in a similar position, though I don't even have a husband or kids :(
I have a number of people I am friends with, but every one of them has closer friends, if that makes sense? Like, I'm not the one they invite first, I'm the one they invite if they have a spare ticket, or someone has dropped out of something. And when I try to organise something I often end up having to plan far ahead because people are already busy in immediate future with other (closer) friends.
So despite knowing lots of people I usually feel lonely. I wish I was a best/main friend to someone.

I’m in exactly the same boat, not really helped by the fact I’m an introvert and mostly avoid group social situations! I’d be interested in a FB group. Could it be made private?

I have had close/best friends, 2 of them who I would of deemed were more like family to me. These friendships spanning 15 years. I am 36. Godmother to these people’s children, been there for them through thick and thin and now I am no longer friends with either of them. They have let me down and looking back the friendships were very one sided. They used and abused, were jealous, spiteful. 2 pieces of deadwood I have now cut away. So I am one of those people who think they have their besties, their tribe…but turns out it wasn’t the case! I would love genuine close friendships but now too scared 😟

Simple is good, how about Mumsnet Misfits?

Also to say I have let a lot of friendships drift, and struggle to make new ones. It seems like a lot of people form friendships in Uni and I never went, changed jobs and moved away with DH and just don't have anyone I can call or text for a chat.

How about friends by the ocean a play on op username if it says mumset something nosy newspaper might join it?

www.facebook.com/groups/3548049902074405/?ref=share

Yes its hard. My kids play sport so thats wends gone. But I do put in effort. Think people dont want hassle to arrange things now or keep in touch.

@Sunflowerseeds23 I requested to join

I've moved around a lot and have no friends either. I'll request to join the group.

I’m the same and it’s been very upsetting recently.