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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How to leave my husband

33 replies

babydoodoodoo · 21/07/2023 09:53

Things are crap. Not terrible. Never one thing big enough to justify leaving, but so many small things it is becoming unbearable. We own our house together with a mortgage. Have two small children. How do I do it? It seems such a big decision. So what I say one day this is it. Then what, I take the kids to my mums? Or he goes off to his. Then what, we sell the house? Or one of us stays and then what happens to the mortgage? And how do we tell the kids? They're 2 and 3. And then working out who gets which days? Too many questions and sorting it is all going to fall on me. Classic mental load nonsense. And telling people too, urgh.

OP posts:
babydoodoodoo · 21/07/2023 19:25

Impossible then clearly.

Would love any advice. Today was a bad day. I'm so sad, I just want to run away and live in a tiny house somewhere with the kids.

OP posts:
Hellotheree · 21/07/2023 19:40

Are you married? Can you afford bills/mortgage
Could you stay in the house and also discuss child maintenance? Working out which days yoi can both have that discussion afterwards maybe?
Also don't worry about telling people, do things in your own time.

I'm sorry you have had a hard day, I have been there although not married. We had a house with a mortgage I chose to move out, go back to my mums, he refused to sell up and had to wait over a year until I received transfer of equity - long story.
I am in a much better place now, I have a flat with my child, a new job and so much more at peace and content.

It's really hard at first making that big step but deep down you know when the time has come to move on. Big hugs to you

LividHot · 21/07/2023 19:47

Work out what you need first.

Ideally he should move out, but could he find somewhere to go?

How is the house owned and how much equity would be in it? Could you afford a smaller place on your income?

As for telling the kids. Mine was nearly 3 and we never “told” him. Daddy went to work at a new office and it just happened to have a bed and a shower. Honestly little kids will just accept normal. He genuinely never asked why daddy didn’t sleep at home any more. I think six months older and it wouldn’t have been so easy for him.

NooNaNa · 21/07/2023 19:52

Go and see a solicitor and you'll get an idea
of what a separate future is likely to look like.
My understanding is that it gets worse before it gets better.

onlylovecanhurtlikethis · 21/07/2023 20:00

Depends on how "crap" life really is and whether it's better or worse than not seeing your kids for potentially 50% of their time and the financial impact on your standard of living and the lifestyle you can afford to give yourself (and then)

So I'd think very carefully. Because for me if it was the choice between "crap" and a mediocre slightly boring/dull marriage and not seeing my children for half their lives then I know which I'd choose....

Hellotheree · 21/07/2023 20:26

How are you feeling @babydoodoodoo

Ofcourseshecan · 21/07/2023 21:00

I’ve no practical advice but I feel for you, OP.

Growing up with unhappy parent/s in an unhappy home can have lifelong bad effects on children. And the parents too only get one life.

Have you talked things through with your husband? Could counselling improve your marriage? Is there any other practical action you can take?

If you’ve tried everything, don’t just give up and put up. You and DC are worth so much more.

Dery · 21/07/2023 21:16

@babydoodoodoo - can I suggest hitting pause? I don’t think your feelings are that unusual and they might not be permanent.

As parents of a 2 yo and a 3 yo you’ve been through 3 very intense, demanding and exhausting years. It can also be very divisive as differences in parenting style emerge. That puts huge pressure on any relationship.

You may find that things improve as your DCs get a bit older. You and your DH loved each other enough to have children together. At least some of what you’re feeling now may well be circumstantial. Your relationship may be retrievable.

I don’t think parents should stay together no matter what but I do think that, having decided to start a family, you and DH owe it to yourselves and your DCs to see if this is fixable. Perhaps you’ve tried all that but it’s unclear from your message whether you’re both just knackered and communication has somewhat broken down or whether the relationship is just a disaster and you’re just much better apart.

Coffeeandanap · 21/07/2023 21:22

In my situation I had my own bank account so I had access to money.
I sat him down in November and told him I wanted out, it wasn’t a shock. He accepted it but has become bitter and angry over time. Don’t let that deter you, if anything it helps you get out.

We had one last ‘normal’ Christmas then told the kids in January. Although we didn’t like eachother we agreed what would be said to the kids and we did it together.

I moved out in Jan & I’m renting. It’s expensive but worth the peace. He’s living in the family home and will buy me out.

It can be done and all I can tell you is I felt an enormous relief once I was living in my own home. We share 50/50 custody. It takes some getting used to but I now focus on quality time over quantity.

andthentherewere · 21/07/2023 21:30

Hi op. Not sure if this is helpful but I think the earlier poster about hitting pause may have a point.
My children are 7,8 and 9 and and we had some really tough years when they were preschool/nursery age. I was absolutely sure that I wanted a divorce and just the sight of my husband drove me insane. For a variety of reasons I decided to wait until the children were a little older to separate. What actually happened is that things started to get a bit easier, we got sleep, some time to ourselves and were able redress some of the dynamics in our relationship and we are now in a pretty good place.
I appreciate this isn't the case for everyone but I do think factoring in how hard those first 4/5 years of parenting is makes sense.

Feelingsad12 · 21/07/2023 21:47

In my experience breaking up when the kids are young has low impact on them, mine were similar ages to yours and it didn’t really affect them. I was fortunate enough to be able to afford to rent somewhere else whilst we sold the family home and so the kids were excited about the new house. I suggested days which was a week night a weekend night and one tea time so they see him most days and it works pretty well for them, they have the stability of one main home but regular contact with both parents

User63847484848 · 21/07/2023 21:52

I definitely think it’s good to do it now when they’re so young rather than wait until they’re older.

take one step at a time
can you tell him you think you should separate then work out the practicalities together? Lots of people stay living in the same house for a while, sleeping in separate rooms, maybe divide up the weekends/alternate them and the other goes to family or friends.
you could also consider going to counselling together to help you navigate separating and becoming co parents

Zanatdy · 21/07/2023 22:06

I agree that the impact when really young is much less so a better time to do it. Mine were 5 and 2 and I just told them that we would be having 2 houses now. I moved out and rented. DS was happy to have a flat garden to play football in. It’s only now age 18 I’ve told him why we split, it was relevant in a recent conversation as his dad has recently got married and he’s not got a step sibling. I grew up with parents who hated each other. I didn’t want that for my kids. My ex and I did 12 very amicable years of sharing the kids until one of us wanted to move on with a new partner. We did family holidays and their dad spent a fair bit of time seeing them at my house,. 50/50 which we started initially didn’t work as he prioritised his job, and he eventually went overseas for 7 out of the 12yrs since we split. He’s back now, and our lives are very much more separate.

One thing I didn’t want was my kids growing up in a household where parents stayed together ‘for the kids’. It’s not for the kids, it’s a terrible atmosphere and I’ve grown up with a real anxiety around raised voices and arguments having sat in my bed as a child literally praying for arguments to stop. One big memory of my brother and I, both well under 10, sitting together at the kitchen table praying together for the arguing / shouting / throwing of things to stop. Even when they weren’t physically falling out the atmosphere wasn’t great. Please don’t do this to your kids, leaving and living in a peaceful non argumentative home is preferable trust me.

babydoodoodoo · 21/07/2023 22:28

Thanks everyone, lots of different viewpoints.

Money wise I'm fine. The house probably has £100k equity in it. I put in considerably more deposit that he did. It isn't ringfenced but I'm fairly certain he wouldn't try and take more than his share. If we each take back what our deposit was and split what's left I'd have around £70k as a deposit for somewhere else. I'm not earning much at the minute while the kids are small but I think it's enough to get a mortgage to buy a 2 bed flat/house. I've checked entitledto and my income plus a little top up of UC is fine to live on. A shitty time to buy and sell though as I assume I wouldn't be able to port my current mortgage and it's nice low interest rate if I do it solo.

Pressing pause? Maybe. I don't think we like each other much. We spend a lot of time sniping at each other over nothing. We seem to automatically think the worst of each other. I don't always like his parenting. More TV and unhelpful shouting than I do. Example: "stop splashing, the floor is soaking, stop, stop, if you do that again you're coming out" on repeat, not constructive and also not taking the action he says he will. I find myself having to bite my tongue. Is that going to get better? If I pull him up on it, or suggest maybe the telly can go off, I get told a bit of telly isn't that bad and that I am somehow insinuating that him and his entire family are stupid for watching TV. Which is such a massive leap and not true at all. I don't see that changing.

He suffered 2 close family bereavements in quick succession after our first child was born. I think that forced me into taking on all the child related mental load stuff as he was busy grieving. It was the right thing to do at the time but it hasn't changed and if anything has made my control freak tendencies worse. I know how things are best done and if he does it differently I don't like it. That's on me, I know.

Atmosphere is bad a lot of the time. If I slight him in some way he'll have a go at me and doesn't care if the kids are there to hear it. I try and walk away but it's not always possible. In the last week I've had my 2yo say "mummy, sad, cry?" and my 3yo say "sometimes daddy annoys you". So they're not completely oblivious.

I contacted a counsellor today. I've tried to do it a few times before but everyone I tried was full at that point. I spoke to a charity one today, it's much cheaper and she didn't mention a waiting list so hopefully it will be able to start soon. I'm going to go alone to start with. I won't be able to get my thoughts out properly if he's sitting there too.

OP posts:
changingmyname143 · 21/07/2023 22:32

Could you afford to take an additional borrowing on the property to buy him out? It may mean eg extending the mortgage but could be an option. With kids that young they'll be fine. It will just become their norm - as long as you are united and calm in front of them. You can say something like "mummy and daddy live in different houses now - how fun is that you get two bedrooms!"

babydoodoodoo · 21/07/2023 22:41

changingmyname143 · 21/07/2023 22:32

Could you afford to take an additional borrowing on the property to buy him out? It may mean eg extending the mortgage but could be an option. With kids that young they'll be fine. It will just become their norm - as long as you are united and calm in front of them. You can say something like "mummy and daddy live in different houses now - how fun is that you get two bedrooms!"

I don't think I could afford to buy him out. Nor him buy me out. We'd either have to keep it with both of us on the mortgage for a bit, or sell up. I would have to buy again as I don't have family nearby. I imagine he would move back to his mums.

OP posts:
Followwill · 21/07/2023 22:44

I'm just separating now. In all honesty, if I had my time again I would have done it when my kids were the same age as yours. Mine are 8 and 10 now. If you do it now then you don't need to worry about keeping the house to keep them in the same school etc.

I started as you have. Find out where you would stand financially. Work out what you want with custody and be realistic about what could happen. Would DH really want 50/50 if he CBA now? Would he be likely to push for it to punish you?

Then when you're ready you have the chat. It's hard and awful. But when it's done it is a huge weight off the shoulders. I love having a peaceful home. It is priceless.

Morewineplease10 · 21/07/2023 22:52

See some solicitors for a free 30 min consultation.

Go on entitled to to see about benefits.

Get screenshots of his pensions etc in case he decides to be a dick later.

Don't listen to people who say 'he has to fully disclose' - legally they are supposed to but unless you can prove they're lying, there is little or no recourse.

I wouldn't advise 50/50, he doesn't sound engaged enough to parent well enough?

He might suggest it to dodge maintenance.
Emotionally- it sounds like you're done and
I think better to get out while the kids are so young.

If you have the kids more you should be entitled to more than half assets - grey area.

If you can possibly get your money ring-fenced in anyway before you split, I'd definitely recommend that as my lovely ex wants every penny of my assets, whilst he has moved/hidden/spent his. And I would never have thought he'd be the type to do that!

Uggster1 · 21/07/2023 23:03

Couldn't be bothered reading all the LTB comments. Life is shit sometimes. I've been married over 40 years. Trust me, there's been a lot of shit. you work through it and find a solution. Relationships are not easy, they may need work. Get used to it and gird your loins for the battle!

Endoftheroad12345 · 21/07/2023 23:05

Your marriage sounds similar to mine and I ended it in November. Have not regretted it for a second. My kids are 8 & 5.

We rented a property and have rotated in and out of there with kids staying in the family home. A massive ballache but (a) easier on the kids, who have coped really well so far and (b) literally the only way I could physically get him to separate. I found. the house, furnished it single handedly (including buying him a bed and pillows), set up utilities etc. If you think your husband is useless and annoying now, wait until you’ve split.

Don’t assume he will be reasonable about money, custody split etc. I thought mine would be but he was initially extremely psycho and nasty. The first weekend he lost his shit, screamed abuse at me in front of the kids and drained our joint savings and current account and put them all on his personal credit card. He eventually transferred it back but it was extremely stressful.

So make sure you have access to your own money. Don’t assume he will be reasonable about the deposit. Your interests are no longer aligned.

Don’t leave the house. Possession is 9/10ths of the law and the least disruption to kids the better, both for their well-being and for your custody argument.

I wish I had gone to see a lawyer before I pulled the pin but it kind of escalated before I was ready.

If your family or friends are supportive get them to take the kids while you tell him.

He may claim to want 50:50 custody to punish you, or as a disincentive to splitting. Your lawyer will give you advice on how to manage it but I was told to play along and they usually lose interest (which has proven to be correct). Courts I am told will always default to 50:50, occasionally 60:40 - even where there has been DV (which there was in my case) - I was appalled.

Endoftheroad12345 · 21/07/2023 23:08

oh whatever @Uggster1

I was with my husband for 21 years, married for 13. I could hardly have been accused of not giving it a good nudge.

I have never come across a woman who, driven to making the decision to end her marriage when she has young kids, has regretted it. Things have to be beyond the normal realm of shit to make that call. I have met plenty who regret staying though.

Followwill · 21/07/2023 23:28

Uggster1 · 21/07/2023 23:03

Couldn't be bothered reading all the LTB comments. Life is shit sometimes. I've been married over 40 years. Trust me, there's been a lot of shit. you work through it and find a solution. Relationships are not easy, they may need work. Get used to it and gird your loins for the battle!

How do your kids feel about your marriage?! Seriously ask them. My now ex and I both grew up in homes with long but very unhealthy marriages. Neither of us wanted the same for our children. That was one thing we always agreed on!

Of course when we called it a day, both DP and PIL chimed in with 'But we argue all the time'. To which ex and I both advised we wanted better for our DC.

Endoftheroad12345 · 21/07/2023 23:55

exactly @Followwill

My mum was the same “you never know what goes in behind closed doors, fighting in marriage is normal”

So you can guess what I learnt about marriage from them, and why I tolerated a high conflict relationship for so long.

I did not want my son to grow up thinking it was ok to call his wife a fat bitch, smash things on the ground when he was in a temper or create a poisonous atmosphere with his moods, nor did I want my daughter to grow up thinking that behaviour should be tolerated in a relationship.

DepartureLounge · 22/07/2023 14:35

It's really daunting to call time on a relationship whatever age your children are, but personally I think that if you get to the point where you feel the things you've written in your OP, that it is actually the right thing to do, and things will not get any better if you stay and stick it out instead. "Crap not terrible" is a very familiar concept to me and I remember well how it instinctively makes you want to reach for the handbrake before you hurtle off into decisions there's no coming back from. But the idea that things ought to actually be "terrible" to justify all the upheaval of leaving comes out of the playbook that says your marriage is "good enough" if no one's hitting anyone and the housekeeping isn't all being chucked away in the pub. This is the 21st century, and it's okay to walk away from relationships that don't quite plumb those depths but nevertheless are crap and are creating so much unhappiness it feels unbearable, as you wrote.

I left a 25-year relationship earlier this year and right up to the point the house was sold and things were final, I was still second-guessing myself and scared I was doing the wrong thing or going about it in the wrong way. But once you have the inner peace of being in control of your immediate environment, the decisions and choices you can make, your parenting and your plans for the future, the relief will wash over you and you will wonder why it took you so long. Counselling is a good move imo, as people in unhappy marriages tend to suppress their feelings for so long it can be hard to access them even once you're free to.

Lots of good advice upthread about practicalities, and I echo the warning not to assume that your stbx will behave well. No need to behave badly yourself preemptively, but just be ready to act decisively when ringfencing assets etc. In my experience (looking at other relationships as well as my own) there's often a window of opportunity when everyone is trying to be/look as reasonable as possible, and my advice is to take all you are offered in that window, before things sour. (They may well become amicable again later, but the sour period can do a lot of damage, especially to your finances.) As for telling people, I would limit it at first to people who will be supportive (of you). Ending a relationship is energy sapping and you'll need friends or family who can bolster your confidence and belief that you're doing the right thing at times, as well as people who you can just have a laugh with when you need one. You don't need to rush to tell people who will judge or try to make you doubt your judgement - trust me, they'll rush to you - and you don't need to offer yourself up on a plate as anyone's juicy gossip (that will happen by itself too). Finally, be aware that there are a lot of people out there in unhappy marriages, and your decision will make some of them uncomfortable about the decisions they're not brave enough to take in their own lives, so you may lose some friends or take some flak.

You will be okay though, more than okay, and so will your children.

Mom1528 · 11/01/2024 03:26

Omg. So much of what you said is my marriage to a T.
Are you still sticking it out?