27m dating 18f?!?!

[Lafoosa]

So my ex recently told me he's in love with a woman, which in most cases I'd be happy for him as it means he's finally stopped trying to get back with me.

However, the "woman" in question has literally only just turned 18. He's 27 with 3 kids, and I think it's totally inappropriate that he's even perusing a teenager.
I'm not being unfair am I? It seems a bit predatory to go after someone as soon as they turn 18.

@TattoedLady I was 14 when we met, and only just 15 when we started dating, it was right after my birthday and he was almost 19. I was 17 when I got pregnant and he was almost 22. Obviously that age gap isn't that bad, but my point with it is that he clearly has a thing for going for girls who are still teenagers.

He didn't tape me with any of my pregnancies, I did consent to the sex but I was very drunk with the first baby and that was because he was pouring the drinks when he knew I was planning to leave him because I'd said earlier that day that I didn't want to be together anymore.
And arguably you can't really consent when you're that drunk, I would've just said yes to anything.

The third baby was a similar situation, except I'd come home drunk from a work do and he took advantage of it. Because he knew he couldn't get me drunk at home anymore after me realising he repeatedly tried getting me drunk to have sex with me, and he'd made a joke about me being in the mood when I'm drunk and then kept trying to get me to get drunk. I stopped drinking at home because of it so he took that opportunity and didn't wear a condom. I wasn't on contraceptives because they didn't agree with my body and I didn't want anything hormonal while I was still breastfeeding my second baby.

He did sexually assault me while I was sleeping another night. It was towards the end of the relationship and I'd told him I didn't want him to touch me, multiple times in fact. He did it while I was asleep and I woke up to him doing foreplay with my pants down. I pretended to stay asleep to see if he'd stop if I didn't move or react, which he didn't so I got up and told him to get off me and the whole next day he was very angry with me. I told my sister about it and she told him I said that and called me a liar. Basically no one in my family believes me and I'm worried if I said anything he'd try and take me to court for custody of the kids.

When I was 22 I had a four year relationship with (an unmarried) 44 year old, lady then at 27, I met a girl aged 18. We have now been happily married 42 years, therefore I don't think age really matters too much.

I was in love with a guy when I was around that age who was 9 years older and had 6 kids.

I didn't see it as a problem at the time, but do now really in all sorts of ways.

I've had larger age gaps but I think even that was a bit much at that age. And looking back, it would never have worked.

Imagine being step-mum to 5 kids (the oldest about 11) when you're twenty.

My mother was 34 and I was 6 when she got together with a 19 year old (she knew him from age 18 - worked together.

Everyone on both sides thought odd but.... 30 years later and they're still together. Really strong relationship and it works for them

Celebrities these days don't set good role model examples with age gaps, on both sides of the coin.

All the best op

Nothing to do with you. But, as a 28 year old myself yes it's a bit gross. Can't imagine dating someone who's basically just left school/first year of uni. Their prefrontal cortex hasn't even developed.

very odd

So you have admitted that you were 14/15 when you first met and he was 19, was you having sex before the age of consent then?

It sounds like he has a thing for younger women, or girls let's say. It she's 18, he's not technically doing anything wrong in the eyes of the law (now) but you haven't confirmed if you were having a sexual relationship before you turned 16 (unless I have missed that)

Get a hold of yourself fgs and stop being so dramatic.
18 is not a child
he is your ex
there are women his age that are not good models for children either
And a Plenty of 18 yo that have their heads on the right way round.

How's this got resurrected?

@Catwoman8 yes, I was having a sexual relationship with him before the age of consent.

It’s obviously not illegal as she is an adult but I do think it’s creepy.

@Someonelookedatmypostinghistorysoichanged
thats a bit of a dramatic response, people should be more concerned for young girls who get involved with much older men, especially when they have children.
I’ll also add my ex who I am on about in this post was very mentally abusive to me, sexually coerced me multiple times, and got violent if I said no to sex. On top of years of him degrading me and treating me like dirt, being a terrible parent, etc. I think it’s more than okay that I’d be concerned for an 18 year old girl getting involved with him, she hasn’t had enough life experience to be able to see what she’d be getting into and aside from that I’d genuinely be concerned she’d end up the way I did, pregnant too young and stuck with an abuser.

No idea how this thread got revived though

I'm surprised people are defending this. It's weird af.

You are either still in school or have just left at 18. What could a mature grown adult want with or have in common with someone who just out of school? He has 3 kids and presumably works. To me aged 31, an 18 year looks and acts like a child. You do not have the maturity at that age to date someone significantly older and it leaves you wide open to abuse.

Also whoever mentioned the age of consent thing is GROSS. If you legit think a 40 year old doing anything sexual with a 16 year old is remotely acceptable, have words with yourself FFS.

When I was about 17/18 a few of my friends were going out with men that age. They could drive, buy alcohol without id and mostly they had more money than we did. None of them had kids though, for some reason an 18 year old dating an older man with kids seems worse than an 18 year old dating an older man without kids. Different lifestyles, and also the 18 year old being a lot younger than the children's mum.

@Ladamesansmerci
I find it so weird that people think it’s okay for anyone in their late 20s or 30s or even older to date anyone who literally still has TEEN in their age 🤢
I’m only 25 and the thought of dating an 18-19 year old is disgusting and I see them as children still. At 18-19 people might think they’re an adult but they just aren’t, and the maturity difference is very apparent.

as someone with 3 daughters, when they’re 14-19 if any adult man tries to date them I’d absolutely lose my rag, there’s no way it’s normal or okay for fully grown men to go after teenagers.
It’s gross that people use 16 being the age of consent to justify creepy behaviour.

I also have no idea why this thread has become active again after 2 years.
Thankfully the girl I was on about in this post noticed what a shitty parent he is, and realised how young I was when I got pregnant and it scared her off.