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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Accidentally rated boyfriend 8 out of 10

64 replies

littlebird26 · 18/07/2023 16:39

Gordon Ramsay Reaction GIF

I really really hope somebosy can help me make sense of this or offer advice.
The other day I was talking to my bf on the phone and during the conversation it somehow lead to him rating himself as a 7 out of 10 and I said no your definitley at least an 8. I said without thinking. Because I thought 8 is higher and a realistic score. I definitley dont see myself as higher than that either.
No he is completely distraught saying I should have said 10 and how could I think its ok to rate him as an 8 as thats me saying that there are people far more attractive than him and I should make him feel that I think he is a 10 even if its not true.

But the thing is I do think he is increadibly attractive and I didnt mean any offence by it at all. IF it had be me I wouldnt have taken it so personally as I think 8 is a high score. But now I understand thagt I should have said 10 but I cant tke it back and don't know what to do. As I have tried evvvvvvvvvvvvvverything in my power to convince him that I dont think anyone else is better or more attractive but he keeps bringing it up now as soon as I think we are ok.
I dont know what to do or its even possible for me to fix this now.
But I am desperate for answers or some kind of advice because do really love him. And tbh I feel like rating people is silly and demeaning anyway and would never have said anything had it not been brought up in conversation.

Please can anyone help me figure this out I'm at my wits end and I really do want to show him how much I care and that I do see him as a 10.
But im worried its not possible. As no matter what I say he just obsesses over it now.

OP posts:
perfectcolourfound · 18/07/2023 19:15

If he is genuinely upset by this I would walk away right now...

Does he genuinely believe he's a '10' (supoer arrogant if so)
Does he think you should THINK he's a 10 even if he isn't (unrealistic, entitled)
Is he just using this as a stick to beat you with, and make you feel bad?
It's all childish nonsense anyway
Does he have zero sense of humour

Seriously, this is childish nonsense and / or he's supremely arrogant and thinks you should worship the ground he walks on.

Run!!!!

GoodChat · 18/07/2023 19:34

LeviJeanQueen · 18/07/2023 18:40

She hasn't. She's settled for at least an 8.

She was just being kinder than he was by the sounds of it. 7 or 8, meh.

He sounds about a 2 in terms of emotional maturity so that must be a real turn on Grin

CappucinoAndCornetto · 18/07/2023 19:38

TobiasForgesContactLense · 18/07/2023 16:49

Oh God this reminds me of a massive argument I had with my best friend when we were 11 and I rated Morten Hacket a 10 out of 10. She was livid! Thankfully we have matured since then and I am sure that you and your boyfriend will too.

I mean Morten was a 10/10 🤷🏻‍♀️

Highlyflavouredgravy · 18/07/2023 19:40

I think you might be better off talking to your school friends or maybe a teacher you trust?
My best advice would be not to worry about boys, just concentrate on your school work.

ConnieTucker · 18/07/2023 19:43

Surely he is now nowhere near an 8 as his manipulative argumentative behaviour is a massive turn off.

bin him. He is a cock

Chatillon · 18/07/2023 20:02

The other day I was talking to my bf on the phone and during the conversation it somehow lead to him rating himself as a 7 out of 10 and I said no your definitley at least an 8. I said without thinking.

Fuck me, you've just given him a 14% rise !

He should be thankful of that.

RealDamnLoud · 18/07/2023 20:04

Do you really find someone who you both think is 7 or 8 out of 10 attractive OP?

SpringleDingle · 18/07/2023 21:14

Jesus wept! There are plenty of dudes more physically attractive than my boyfriend and plenty of women more physically attractive than me. I love him for who he is and how he makes me feel not his aesthetics! Your boyfriend is being totally immature which is making him FAR less attractive to me and, I’d imagine, most other women … yuck!

SaturdayGiraffe · 18/07/2023 21:19

OP not replied so I’m assuming it’s a joke.

Anyway, if a partner takes something you say and uses it against you repeatedly after you have apologised and tried to move on, then they are controlling your behaviour negatively, aka a stinker.

Don’t date a stinker.

PollyAmour · 18/07/2023 21:30

This is a joke thread, isn't it?

Isn't it?

DifferentRoundHere · 18/07/2023 21:46

He rates himself a 7. You rate him an 8. Why on earth are you with him? You have to shag this bloke and he’s not even very attractive.

Find a more attractive one, with more confidence and who acts like a grown up too.

Tiredjoanna · 18/07/2023 21:57

Sorry just gotta say effin lovin this🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

CuriouslyDifferent · 18/07/2023 22:07

littlebird26 · 18/07/2023 16:39

I really really hope somebosy can help me make sense of this or offer advice.
The other day I was talking to my bf on the phone and during the conversation it somehow lead to him rating himself as a 7 out of 10 and I said no your definitley at least an 8. I said without thinking. Because I thought 8 is higher and a realistic score. I definitley dont see myself as higher than that either.
No he is completely distraught saying I should have said 10 and how could I think its ok to rate him as an 8 as thats me saying that there are people far more attractive than him and I should make him feel that I think he is a 10 even if its not true.

But the thing is I do think he is increadibly attractive and I didnt mean any offence by it at all. IF it had be me I wouldnt have taken it so personally as I think 8 is a high score. But now I understand thagt I should have said 10 but I cant tke it back and don't know what to do. As I have tried evvvvvvvvvvvvvverything in my power to convince him that I dont think anyone else is better or more attractive but he keeps bringing it up now as soon as I think we are ok.
I dont know what to do or its even possible for me to fix this now.
But I am desperate for answers or some kind of advice because do really love him. And tbh I feel like rating people is silly and demeaning anyway and would never have said anything had it not been brought up in conversation.

Please can anyone help me figure this out I'm at my wits end and I really do want to show him how much I care and that I do see him as a 10.
But im worried its not possible. As no matter what I say he just obsesses over it now.

Next time he brings it up - tell him his behavior over something superficial like this is making you think he’s becoming a 6.

Sounds like he has issues, and this is really unattractive. I say this as a guy. He’s being an arse and sounds like he needs to grow up.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 18/07/2023 23:12

Pixilicious1 · 18/07/2023 16:41

Unless your boyfriend is Brad Pitt he needs to get a grip

She might be Shania Twain you know Grin

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