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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

why is my dad such a bas***d

33 replies

saintnikcolas · 13/12/2004 14:56

its christmas soon and i thought he would want to get over his sulk and talk to me agin but no he is still such a big prat Sad i really feel like going to his house with dd and refusing to leave til he speaks to me

OP posts:
vict17 · 13/12/2004 14:57

poor you. Why isn't he speaking to you?

Hulababy · 13/12/2004 14:57

(((hugs))) Poor oyu; sounds horrible.

Original poster
saintnikcolas · 13/12/2004 14:58

he hasnt spoken to me for about 8 months becasue i asked him for some money

OP posts:
motherinfestivemood · 13/12/2004 15:09

I totally understand why you feel this way, honey, but suspect he's SUCH a bastard that nothing is going to get through to him. How are your other Christmas plans going? Can you do something nice?

Original poster
saintnikcolas · 13/12/2004 15:10

im having christmad here with dd and i think im going to my friends for boxing day

OP posts:
polarbear · 13/12/2004 15:41

Oh I'm sorry to hear this SN. If anty consolation, I'm having major dad problems too - he won't acknowledge dp of 2 years because we're "living in sin"!! He takes every opportunity to be v. rude to both of us and pretty much blanks us. He asks me "why would x ever marry you when he has everything he wants now?" like I should be eternally grateful if dp offered to marry me! best way to deal with them is just to be normal and jolly and try and ignore his twit-ish behaviour! Good luck.

noddyholder · 13/12/2004 15:44

can totally sympathise my mum is doing this to me I have posted on another thread today as it is so upsetting esp at xmas and also ds adores her!Enjoy yourself with your friends and let him be it is his loss

Original poster
saintnikcolas · 14/12/2004 21:29

i really am starting to hate my dad but i miss having a dad iykwim xx

OP posts:
fairycakes · 14/12/2004 22:07

poor you - i have dad issues aswell, so i kind of know how you feel - my dad is from another country and my mum left him when i was 4 months old and came back to the uk with me - have seen him about a total of 10 times whilst growing up and in the last few years i spent my hard earned cash from my part time job while at college to go and visit him for a week for a couple of years (he is LOADED so should have paid in my opinion!!) he hardly made an effort at all, and expected me to rteat him like a dad that has brought me up rather than a total stranger! he is a wa**er. Anyway to cut a long story short, last time i saw him was when i visited him 2 years ago and then never heard form him since - he doesnt even know he s a grandad. I hated not having a dad though, even though i dont want him as a dad so i hope that everything works out with your dad the way you want it to - big hugs!!

Original poster
saintnikcolas · 18/12/2004 20:01

i just posted my dads cards with a pic of me and dd in it why is he such an old git cant he just see what hes missing by egnoring me and dd xxxxxxxxxxxx

OP posts:
gothicsanta · 18/12/2004 20:08

hugs Nik,

Original poster
saintnikcolas · 19/12/2004 22:41

thank you GM,

OP posts:
SPARKLER1clausiscomingtotown · 19/12/2004 22:51

I don't get on with my dad either. I could go on and on and on the reasons why but there are too many to mention. He only lives a 5 minute walk away from my home but he never makes any effort to see me or my dds. Dm and dd divorced years ago now and he has never really taken any interest in me at all. The only time I get to see him is usually about now, a week before xmas when drops off the xmas pressies as they are "in the way" in his home. He never stops very long as he has to get back as his wife is cooking the dinner. I did ask him once why he didn't have his dinner first and then come round with his wife and spent some time here but he came up with some excuse that I can't even bear to remember.

SPARKLER1clausiscomingtotown · 19/12/2004 22:52

It breaks my heart everytime I see him as it hurts me to think how can a father be like that with his children. I could never imagine my dh do that to dds.

SPARKLER1clausiscomingtotown · 19/12/2004 23:11

He doesn't have a clue what his grandchildren do, when their birthdays are, that I was suffering from PND for months. Arrrrrgh - I can feel him winding me up just typing this.

SPARKLER1clausiscomingtotown · 19/12/2004 23:13

sorry saintnik - didn't mean to ramble on on your thread. It's a subject that gets me wound up though. Sorry to hear you are feeling so upset.

biglips · 20/12/2004 00:29

i know how you feel sparkler as my dad is not interested as i had my baba 10 weeks ago now and he hadnt bothered to come down to see baba yet (mum and dad divorced yrs ago), the reason why i havent rang him cos in april 04 i called my dad to tell him that i was pregnant and also getting engaged to my fella and he promised to come to my party but never bothered to turn up and hadnt bothered to ring me either since. His mum (my nan) called me a few weeks ago (dad gave my nan my tel no on the same day) and asked me if i had my baba yet and i said yes and she did asked my dad if he had heard from me and he said no cos i havent rang him !!!!!!!!!! ( whats wrong with his finger - is it broken?). so i still cant be bothered as i ve been chasing after him for 10 yrs now and he keeps on disappearing !!

Dreams · 20/12/2004 00:35

life is to short to be rowing with your parents! (unless of course you have had many really bad unsolvable situations. i learn't this the day my Dad died i was only 12 i had had the happiest childhood of my life but there are still things to this day i wish i had said and done!! unfortunatly if parents just dont want to know you cant make them but at least try and then its there loss at the end of the day!

Original poster
saintnikcolas · 20/12/2004 10:58

dreams, you have made me what to really make up with my dad now maybee i should just bite my tounge and make the first move, sorry to hear ur having a bad time with your dad SPARKLER1 ur dad sounds just like mine MEN they are all selfish

OP posts:
Original poster
saintnikcolas · 20/12/2004 11:00

in fact its his birthday today thats a good excuse to phone him xxxx

OP posts:
muminlondon · 20/12/2004 11:33

yes, phone. Life's too short for rows like that - wish I'd phoned my dad more often when he was alive and I wish he could see my dd.

motherinfestivemood · 20/12/2004 11:35

But if he doesn't meet you half way, please don't feel it's your fault. I honestly think sometimes one just has to leave these things and move on (much MUCH easier said than done, obviously )

Original poster
saintnikcolas · 20/12/2004 14:10

i just rang him and he rejected my call so what now do i just leave it supose il have to x

OP posts:
muminlondon · 20/12/2004 14:18

That's such a shame. I guess apart from trying again on Christmas day you've done what you can for the moment.

muminlondon · 20/12/2004 14:20

can anyone else talk to him and give you feedback about what he's thinking?