The way to cure an anxious attachment style is to accept that when when things go wrong in a relationship, it's not your fault. You don't need to compete for attention: if the other person doesn't give you what you want, you ask them to. If that doesn't work, it's over. You don't need to change yourself, amend yourself, have a long hard look at yourself, do work on yourself, nothing. You are free of all that, from this moment on.
A compatible partner will, by being their natural and unfettered self, feel good for you to be around. Their natural ways will dovetail with your natural ways. There is minimal 'trying'. There is little awareness of 'trying', and, in fact, 'trying' is a bit alien, because it's so unusual. Eggshells don't happen. Feeling a 'hot/cold' comparison doesn't happen. Feeling worthless doesn't happen.
Really really really wanting her is by the by. I really want a million quid, a home gym, a swimming pool, and 3 horses. But I'm not going to spend my days feeling shit in order to get them; they're not worth it. Loads of teenage girls really really really want Harry Styles. As adults, we realise that sometimes we don't get what we really really want, and we don't stamp our feet about it because we're not 3. We get on with our lives, and manage without. And that's what you need to do.
This woman isn't even saying that in the future she will be able to give you what you want. She's being who she is, and hoping that you'll fit around it happily. She's not displaying attachment issues. She's displaying clear communication about what she wants, and she's asking you for it. But that set up doesn't make you happy, so it's time to accept that you want different things, and move on.
I know it's not what you want to hear, but learning that you don't need to change yourself, and that you need to change your people to fit you, is a big and valuable lesson. We design our own lives in the same way we design our wardrobes. If we like something, we buy it, but if it turns out not to be comfortable, we discard it, because we don't want to be uncomfortable, regardless of how much we might love the jeans/coat/shirt/whatever.