Hi everyone
I’m looking to gain some perspective here and maybe get some advice of people who don’t know me. It’s a long one so bare with me.
I’ve been with my partner for 3 years just gone, I have 2 children to my previous and we have also had another together, so 3 altogether.
I have known him a very long time as we used to work together but then he left. Anyway we came across each other one day and went on a date.
He told me he still lived at home, he was 35 at the time. He told me he stayed living there as he wanted to spend as much time as possible with his parents as they won’t be here forever l, I accepted this and didn’t think anything of it.
fast forward 3 years he’s been living in my house for 1 year and it’s very clear to me why he still lives at home. He doesn’t cook, doesn’t clean, doesn’t do his own washing, even the time he’s been at my house he’s been sending his dirty washing home (and not doing his own daughters). He doesn’t drive and he gets a lift to and from work every day. His dad will often deliver his dinner to the door when he decides he wants something that isn’t in. I work 3 days a week as I can’t afford the childcare for the rest of the week, and I am constantly told that I work part time it’s my job to do these things.
If things get tough at home with me where I ask for him to pull his weight he will leave and tell me he’s going back to them and when he gets there he gets waited on hand and foot. He tells them everything that goes on in our relationship but continuously tells me I am the problem. when he is back at his parents house they do his and our daughters washing cooking cleaning etc he never has to lift a finger.
He sees me as being argumentative and nagging for wanting him to stand on his own 2 feet I just don’t know what to do anymore.
Am I going mad? Am I the problem here? Is this acceptable?