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Original poster

Dating agency dilemma

41 replies

WitheringTights000 · 12/07/2023 00:38

Hi all,

Some advice on this would be appreciated.

I signed up to a dating agency last year which cost me €1,000.

I'm yet to go on a single date ....because the reviews are awful!

Of course as my luck would have it, there honestly wasn't a single bad review before I signed up....then after I signed up lots and lots of bad reviews on Google.

A few women even saying they were concerned about the mental well-being of a man they went on a date with. Great.

The guy who owns the agency is certainly a good salesman as he is always on tv and the radio and is very convincing!

Should I bite the bullet and go on one date and see? Or just accept that it's €1,000 down the drain?

Thanks in advance!

OP posts:
Original poster
WitheringTights000 · 12/07/2023 00:59

Would also like to add that I joined this agency to avoid the dreaded dating apps....had previous bad experience with them and don't want to try again!

So if I don't give the agency a go I'm sort of out of options in terms of trying to meet someone lol

OP posts:
Neverinamonthofsundays · 12/07/2023 06:27

For that kind of money I would go on ALL the dates and at least get a bit of dating practice in. Wow that is crazy money.

Original poster
WitheringTights000 · 12/07/2023 14:49

Bumping 😊

OP posts:
Original poster
WitheringTights000 · 12/07/2023 15:08

@Neverinamonthofsundays - some of the reviews are atrocious. Like so so bad, so it makes me nervous. 🙃🙃

OP posts:
snowlady4 · 12/07/2023 15:23

Are the reviews about the dates or the actual agency?
If they are reviews of the people you're going to date, I'd ignore them. One persons bad date is another persons soul mate!
Also, with reviews in general (like when you go on holiday,) you always feel skeptical about what you've booked, based on what others have said in their reviews- you get to the resort- and usually have a fab time!
You've paid all that money, you may as well try a few dates!- if nothing else, it'll get you back into the habit of dating and perhaps boost the confidence a bit!
You'd be bonkers to spend all that money and not even try the service!

Original poster
WitheringTights000 · 12/07/2023 15:30

@snowlady4 - both. People saying they had terrible dates and then have given feedback to the agency , and the agency owner had been aggressive, hasn't taken their comments on board etc.

A few women saying they got sent on a date by someone who seemed 'mentally unstable' , great, just great.

I actually asked for a refund and they said no....apparently it's in their terms and conditions, which I clearly didn't notice!

OP posts:
Original poster
WitheringTights000 · 12/07/2023 16:01

Another red flag is the fact that the agency staff are constantly changing, I've just had a message from yet another new member of staff I've never heard of before 😅😑

Sorry ranting a bit about this today!

OP posts:
Livelifelaughter · 12/07/2023 16:36

Definitely go on dates. I wouldn't think too much of the mentally unstable comment unless the person who met him was a doctor...
You can say you are concerned about the negative reviews and ask what they are doing to address the issues raised.

Good luck!

Original poster
WitheringTights000 · 12/07/2023 18:12

@Livelifelaughter - I did ask one of the members of staff before why they agency had so many bad reviews etc and it concerned me and she completely spoke over the top of me and wouldn't answer my question! So it is a little concerning.

But I've paid for it and can't get a refund!

OP posts:
FunkyBuddha85 · 12/07/2023 20:01

Go on some dates. As long as they're in a busy, public place. It could be fun. I've been on plenty of dates with guys that I didn't want to see again but still had a laugh and a few drinks so I dont regret it. It's good dating experience at least.

Original poster
WitheringTights000 · 12/07/2023 20:59

@FunkyBuddha85 - yes the date will be in a public place.

The way it's works is that the dating agency book a restaurant under their name, and I meet the date there at a certain time. We know each other's names and some information about it other, but we don't have each other's contact info etc, makes it less awkward if the date doesn't work out!

I would just cringe if the date is super awkward lol

OP posts:
FunkyBuddha85 · 12/07/2023 21:11

Would if make you feel less awkward if you could ask the agency to arrange somewhere just for a drink the first time? I don't go for a meal first time so that you don't have to sit through eating awkwardly if you don't like them!

I do understand your trepidation though. It can feel overwhelming but it's never usually as bad as you imagine!

guineacup · 12/07/2023 21:21

Definitely go on the date... but is this intro agency really able to offer you anything that Tinder won't?

Downandflirty · 12/07/2023 21:24

Stop reading reviews and go on some dates. You’re overthinking it.

Original poster
WitheringTights000 · 12/07/2023 22:06

@FunkyBuddha85 - yes that's true, a drink would probably be better, and shorter! I could see if they could do that.

@guineacup - my experience of tinder was so grim. Lots of men just wanting a shag and making very rude comments. I thought with an agency at least people who pay that money are definitely not just after sex. The owner has been on tv/radio talking about how people misrepresent themselves sometimes on apps, which was my experience, so I thought it seemed like a good idea! But after I signed bad reviews appeared 😒

@Downandflirty- I am deffo an overthinker. I think I would be pretty pissed off though if the date is shite and I've paid all that money.

OP posts:
RedDeath614 · 12/07/2023 22:17

OP are you in the UK?

Because if you're in the UK then legally you'd be entitled to your money back under the Consumer Rights Act (2015) because you've paid this company for a service and they've not provided the service. Only thing is have they offered dates to you which you've turned down, and if so what were your reasons for turning down?

How soon after paying did the bad reviews appear?

You could also try a chargeback via your bank. This is usually limited to 4 months but you could argue that it would take longer than 4 months to realise you've been fleeced and see what they say. How long was your contract for?

Honestly I'm fairly sure you can get your money out of these people and they know it which is why they won't answer your questions. What's their complaints process? Ask them if you don't know.

Sorry I don't want to derail the thread but I can see you sound a bit peeved at them possibly misrepresenting the experience and might want your money back.

Original poster
WitheringTights000 · 12/07/2023 22:37

@RedDeath614 - thank you for your message. I myself am UK, not mainland UK, however the dating agency is an all Ireland dating agency....

There have been a few dates I have turned down yes. For good reason. They are supposed to match on values, interests etc and in my first meeting I said I want to meet someone who likes to go out for a drink. I also mentioned I am not at all religious, don't believe in any religion, so someone religious wouldn't be suitable for me.

And what do they do? Go and match me with someone from a conservative religion who doesn't drink...so I turned it down, which we are allowed to do.

They also offered me a match with someone who has an illness with only a 50% chance of survival by the age of 40. The person is already 33. Felt bad about turning down that one, as I myself have illnesses, but also thought it was unfair of them to do that to me.

I asked for a refund previously and they said no they don't offer that as they are providing the service!

I don't think there is a time limit on the contract but you get 5 matches and if none work out I think you can pay to renew!

I haven't used any matches yet.

The bad reviews appeared A few months after I signed up! I think they seem extremely busy so I don't know if there has been a drop in the level of service they are offering people. 😑

OP posts:
WatieKatie · 12/07/2023 22:52

You’ve paid so I’d just keep accepting and chasing for matches until you find one that you’d feel comfortable meeting for a drink.

Original poster
WitheringTights000 · 12/07/2023 23:03

@WatieKatie - yes true! Men have been giving it bad reviews too , so seems to be a bad experience for both sexes.

It's weird as it's only the past year they have had bad reviews

OP posts:
Soonenough · 12/07/2023 23:07

I think I know the site you were on . Like you , I would have thought the price would ensure that guys were properly vetted. Glad I didn't waste my € . Very disappointing for you. Problem is that if you do go on the dates, then you can't ask for refund. Wonder what your contract sets out , probably small print has a get-out clause for them. I would continue to bother them , send multiple emails, say you going on Liveline. They may pay you just to get rid of you !

RedDeath614 · 12/07/2023 23:15

WitheringTights000 · 12/07/2023 22:37

@RedDeath614 - thank you for your message. I myself am UK, not mainland UK, however the dating agency is an all Ireland dating agency....

There have been a few dates I have turned down yes. For good reason. They are supposed to match on values, interests etc and in my first meeting I said I want to meet someone who likes to go out for a drink. I also mentioned I am not at all religious, don't believe in any religion, so someone religious wouldn't be suitable for me.

And what do they do? Go and match me with someone from a conservative religion who doesn't drink...so I turned it down, which we are allowed to do.

They also offered me a match with someone who has an illness with only a 50% chance of survival by the age of 40. The person is already 33. Felt bad about turning down that one, as I myself have illnesses, but also thought it was unfair of them to do that to me.

I asked for a refund previously and they said no they don't offer that as they are providing the service!

I don't think there is a time limit on the contract but you get 5 matches and if none work out I think you can pay to renew!

I haven't used any matches yet.

The bad reviews appeared A few months after I signed up! I think they seem extremely busy so I don't know if there has been a drop in the level of service they are offering people. 😑

Thanks for replying OP.

Can I clarify if you're in the Republic of Ireland? I'm not sure if this makes a difference or not but I'll check it out and get back to you. My inkling is they still have to abide by the Consumer Rights Act but I'd rather be sure 😊

Also did they give you a copy of their T&C or any contract on signing up? If so, does that say anything about refunds? If not, they can't just spring it on you that they don't do refunds after you've signed up.

Your reasons for turning the dates down were perfectly valid and reasonable! So I don't think they could argue with that, if it came to it. Thanks for letting me know.

ManAboutTown · 12/07/2023 23:17

I haven't tried anything like this but if both men and women are giving it a bad review then it feels like - at the very least - they aren't earning their money by matching people who might have a reasonable chance of being compatible.

There are a lot of scammers on the apps (I'm sure the ladies will have the same complaint) so the premium you are paying for the agency should be better.

Go on a couple of dates - if it works fine, even if it's meh we all get those. If it's just totally unsuitable weirdoes then walk away

RedDeath614 · 12/07/2023 23:23

And can I add OP that they don't get to decide if they're providing you with a service or not. You do. As others have said, you've paid a premium so you'd expect a much better service than the one they've provided. What they've provided is pretty poor especially for the amount paid. Two possible dates and both with people they should have known weren't great matches for you isn't really good enough for four figures.

Original poster
WitheringTights000 · 12/07/2023 23:32

@Soonenough - are u in Ireland? I'm honestly kicking myself for signing up to it.

I haven't been on any dates yet but They still refused a refund. It must be in their small print somewhere.

I don't think liveline would even be much of a threat to them as the owner appears to go on RTE rather frequently, so must have some sort of contract/deal with them.

They also seem to threaten some bad Google reviews with their 'legal team' lol

@RedDeath614 - yes Republic of Ireland. I myself am in the north of Ireland, but it's an all Ireland dating agency. But I'm just not familiar with consumer rights in Republic of Ireland etc.

And I know it's not exactly a provided service, when the matches have been poor so far. But they just say that you can say no and they will make a note of it for the future.

I probably have a copy of the T&C's in my email somewhere.

@ManAboutTown - yes the apps really are so grim. Awful. So I thought this would be a good option 😑

OP posts: