Dating agency dilemma

[WitheringTights000]

Hi all,

Some advice on this would be appreciated.

I signed up to a dating agency last year which cost me €1,000.

I'm yet to go on a single date ....because the reviews are awful!

Of course as my luck would have it, there honestly wasn't a single bad review before I signed up....then after I signed up lots and lots of bad reviews on Google.

A few women even saying they were concerned about the mental well-being of a man they went on a date with. Great.

The guy who owns the agency is certainly a good salesman as he is always on tv and the radio and is very convincing!

Should I bite the bullet and go on one date and see? Or just accept that it's €1,000 down the drain?

Thanks in advance!

@Marblessolveeverything - thanks for the link. I would say they have themselves covered though....all the bad reviews I've read on Google and no one has said that they have been offered a refund 😕

Yes. And I had considered using them. As you say, they are heavily advertised. I do know someone that had good results though. But if many are complaining then there is a obviously a problem. I thought the whole point of paying such fees is that the dates would be vetted and really stick to the criteria . Otherwise why not take your chances on the apps.
I would ignore the legal threats . Let them try and do something about non payment. Not worth the legal fees to them really.
Sorry this has happened to you. It is so unfair .

Agree with this.
They can't turn clients down on the basis 'they may be mentally unstable,' I'm sure they don't emply a doctor to give everyone a medical/psychoanalyse them before they let them join!
Go on a bloody date- you've paid a grand for this! A grand!! And let us know how it goes!

@Soonenough - well if you know one person who had good results that makes me feel slightly better lol.

I am up in the north but the agency says u have to be prepared to travel, as a good match won't necessarily be on your doorstep. Fine I said, I told them they can match me with someone from Dublin, I love Dublin anyway and it's so much bigger than Belfast so I thought they would have so much choice....but those unsuitable matches where from Dublin 🙃

Now I'm wondering are there not that many single men in Dublin after all! 🥴🥴

@snowlady4 - I know. It makes me want to pass out when I think about it. 1k...I just feel very nervous about going 🥴

Do you get to speak to the men before meeting them? So you can see what your instincts say.

How to they determine who is the right fit for you?

Put it this way, did thry ask YOU any wuestions about your personality? What about any mental health issues you may have that may not be conducive to dating atm? Or if you have a criminal record?

Yes people can lie. But these are still things they should ask you. And if they didn't, they didn't ask the others either.

@Pinkbonbon no, we don't get to speak to them before we meet. No phone numbers are given out etc

It is very much a blind date scenario.

They do ask you in your first call about yourself, so your job, your hobbies, holidays, places you want to go, if you take a drink etc, values,

But then I feel that was just ignored when they matched me with someone very religious who doesn't drink...,so it very much felt it was just a tick box exercise for them, rather than genuinely finding someone a good match.

They do have a copy of my passport, so I'm guessing that's how they check for any criminal convictions etc,

I don't think they asked me about mental health issues though?

I'd be very surprised if they bother to run any kind of background check.

I mean maybe they have a ton of people...but if it were me, id want to meat each participant and have a general conversation. I'd have rhe same employee meet you and the male matches (each employee with their own portfolio) so they could see if they felt the two customers would gel (perhaps I've given this too much thought as I casually toyed with the idea of opening a dating agency once lol).

But with big companies they probably just throw people at eachother and hope for the best.

Personally, as a woman, I don't know if it's ever wise to go on a blind date. I mean, if your friends vetted the first...or you had an agent who you had confidence in at the company then maybe that's fine...but it sounds like this place maybe isn't even considering women's safety first.

That being said, you've paid a grand...so I'd just go on them all and see. Stay in public, busy places and don't give out your contact details if you don't like them.

@Pinkbonbon - yea I think the issue is also every time someone from the agency contacts you, it's a different person. So they aren't really getting much of a feel of you and what you want.

The staff turnover seems incredibly high also which is odd.

They arrange the date in a restaurant so it is somewhere public. And they do provide an emergency contact to you so that if you need anything throughout the night, or if you are going to be late, you can contact someone from the agency.

I can't believe it was 1k though it makes me want to cry when I think about it.

I thought it would be a really good way to meet someone!

Yeah that's a mad amount. I think if you're paying someone else to match you then they really need to take the time to get to know you and what you want. Otherwise how can they hope to find you a match?

Can only assume its just useful for people who don't have time to online date perhaps.

Probably ran by narcissistic assholes hense the high turnover. Either that or the staff realise its dodgy af and get out asap.

@Pinkbonbon - yea I could of used that money for something else, I'm an idiot 😑

I have read reports of the owner being very aggressive when challenged, so yea...it sucks and I'm not sure what to do lol

@Soonenough - also meant to add if there are any eligible bachelors on apps down south, please let me know what apps 😂

The apps up here are DIRE

I always have better luck on tinder than anywhere else.

Imo paid sites attract weirdo men and narcissists like the plague.

Just keep it simple.

@Pinkbonbon - tried tinder in my city and the experience was awful! I had to actually delete the app as it was so traumatising 😂😂

Hence the signing up to the dating agency!

I will keep the thread posted on how it goes though.

It takes them 10/11 weeks to find a match, which does happen to coincide with me being in that city down south anyways....so I guess I'm not really putting myself out that much!

@WitheringTights000 I have PMd you .

I'm on lots of dating apps that are free.