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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Feel like I'm going to die a spinster-what age did you meet a dp/dh?

61 replies

Justtwosecondspoppet · 24/02/2008 23:35

I've been single far too long and am starting to feel like I'm on the heap-am still in my twenties but have never even received a "serious" tag on a relationship (despite a few hitting the two year mark). I want your stories of chivalry and knights in shining Audi's xx

OP posts:

choosyfloosy · 24/02/2008 23:48

The shining Audis are usually a mistake IME.

Met dh at 34 - not very old at all from current perspective of 38!

A very dear friend of mine is getting married next year having fallen in love for the first time aged 38.

A close relative met her partner at 39 and has gone on to have two children.

I could go on. I married my first husband at 25 at least partly because I felt that my life was nearly over and I might never get another chance! It was a dire mistake because I didn't value the things I knew about myself; I had no idea what was really important to me and thought that someone who drove something very like a shiny Audi and made six figures a year must know more than me in all departments. Not only was I unhappy but I made him unhappy too.

I know it is hard when you feel lonely but it is vital to carve out your own path and follow your bliss/God's will/ whatever matters most to you. I hope you find your way.

imaginaryfriend · 24/02/2008 23:53

I met dp when I was 29 and we're still together. One of our closest friends met his partner when they were both 45 and they had a child together within the first year of being together.

kama · 24/02/2008 23:54

This reply has been deleted

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Original poster

Justtwosecondspoppet · 24/02/2008 23:59

Thank you you lovely ladies-THREE of my friends have announced this week that they are moving in together, getting a mortgage together or getting engaged, and they never even ask if I've met anyone any more, so was feeling like I'd missed a "roll up and meet your hubby" rally! Oh well, at least I only wash ladies undies and never have to put the loo seat down after someone else I suppose! xx

OP posts:

kama · 25/02/2008 00:02

This reply has been deleted

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Original poster

Justtwosecondspoppet · 25/02/2008 00:03

Oh gosh I so shouldn't laugh at that but I just did-I am evil! Ha ha! Thanks Kama xx

OP posts:

lou33 · 25/02/2008 00:07

kama, i so agree with you

i never want to get married or live with anyone but my kids ever again

RedJools · 25/02/2008 00:11

I met dh when I was 28, after a glorious year of being single, having split (my decision) from 7 year relationship! I was having such a blast being single, I knew it would have to be someone pretty special for me to get involved again- and he was. You have better judgement in your late twenties, I think, and a better idea of what you want and what you DON'T want!! Enjoy the single-ness while you have it!

purpleduck · 25/02/2008 00:26

met dh when I was nearly 28.

My friend met her fiance when she was 38.

It happens when it happens

BUT

you are only in your 20's!!!! You are not all crinkly and dried up yet!! Relax!!!

RosaIsRed · 25/02/2008 00:28

I was almost 29 when I met DH. He was worth waiting for.

Carmenere · 25/02/2008 00:34

31 and I thought I would never meet a man to match me but, oh boy, did I Tbh, looking back I can see that I wasn't ready to meet someone and in typical fashion as soon as I stopped focussing on it, wham, it happened.

Pages · 25/02/2008 08:36

No till 34. Was single 7 years before that as was DH. You're just choosy. Wait for the right man, it will happen.

Pages · 25/02/2008 08:38

Like Carmenere, it just happened, after years of going out/trying to meet someone, it happened on my doorstep when I wasn't looking.

warthog · 25/02/2008 08:40

how old are you?

i met my dh when i was 29, didn't get together until 32. it was well worth the wait. no rush i don;t think.

ByTheSea · 25/02/2008 09:04

I met DH at 33, married at 34, first baby at 35. Well worth the wait and had loads of fun and great experiences up til then.

Tommy · 25/02/2008 09:07

I met DH on my 32nd birthday, got married at 33, had DS1 at 34

AussieSim · 25/02/2008 09:14

Met DH at 28 started dating at 29 got married 31, had DS1 at 33, DS2 at 36 and for DD1 I will be 39. He had a Porsche when we started dating but I suggested he sell it once we moved in together and had a joint bank account ...

Hang in there, but make sure that you put yourself in what I like to call a 'target rich environment' (the workplace worked for me) and make sure that you are not radiating that 'desperate' vibe.

mitfordsisters · 25/02/2008 09:17

met my dh at 31, married at 33. had a couple of logish 'pseudomarriages' (living together without the commitment etc). wish I'd spent more time single tbh. you are doing great - one day your prince will come but til then enjoy yourself!!

mitfordsisters · 25/02/2008 09:17

mitfordsisters · 25/02/2008 09:18

longish not logish - didn't mean to post twice either.

lol at 'target rich environment'

eandh · 25/02/2008 09:21

I am the opposite met dh at 16, moved in when I was 19, enagaged at 20, married at 24, first baby 25, second baby 27 am now the grand old age of 28 although from 16 to 19 even though we were together I was at home, spare money etc and used to go out with my mates clubbing etc all the time (sh is 5 years older than me so was doing same with his mates)but when I got to 22 I kind of got fed up of going out so now I'd rather have a night out with the girls every few months and enjoy it (funny enough quite a few friends met their dh around same age so we've all done things like houses/babies together)

paddingtonbear1 · 25/02/2008 09:21

Met dh when I was 29. He was 6 years younger and very shy! It's worked out fine so far, we have 1 dd who is 4. Before dh I had a long term relationship which should have ended 2 years before it did - we were both hanging on rather than be single again. SIL is 33 and hasn't found the right man yet, but we are all sure she will - and so will you. Someone usually comes along when you're not looking - dh did!

eandh · 25/02/2008 09:22

sh = dh (he is 5 years older part!)

midnightexpress · 25/02/2008 09:31

Oh gosh don't worry. I met DP at 37. I'm now 41 and we've got 2 lovely DSs . I spent forever single in my late 20s/early 30s after the end of a looooong relationship in my 20s, and had resigned myself to a single, or at least childless life, but you never know what's round the corner. There's certainly no need to despair!

And one thing I'd say is that it's so much better to be single than in the wrong relationship. I hung on to that previous relationship like grim death when it was way past its sell-by date, and was thoroughly mierable for a couple of years as a result.

TrixieVix · 25/02/2008 10:35

I was 19 and he was 24 - sometimes feel like I've missed out on life - never lived with my friends, never went on a girlie holiday etc. The grass is always greener as they say...

MIL met FIL when she was 38!!

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