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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is he right? Am I unreasonable?

33 replies

Ifonlyicouldseethelight · 10/07/2023 23:30

Living with an abusive narcissist is finally taking its toll. I'm at the stage I think I need medication to cope with daily life. Every single interaction is stressful and presumably intended to destroy and belittle me.
Just today for instance, some incidents...

  • 4 year old son was scratching his bum over his pants. Important to note- this is not a regular thing. Son had complained of a sore/itchy bum earlier in the day and had had 3 poos that day (is on laxido). Partner sees this, grabs son saying he's disgusting and naughty. Son start crying, partner drags him (didn't hurt him but took him by the arm) to downstairs toilet repeatedly saying he's naughty and dirty, needs to wash his hands. I knew that getting involved wouldn't end well but it upset me. I went into he bathroom and just said please don't keep calling him naughty, he's only 4. His bum is sore and itchy. Obviously he needs to wash his hands but he's not naughty. Partner was forcing child's hands under sink then shouting at me repeatedly saying that he is naughty, it's dirty, naughty. He then shouts at me and says "he just sctrached his bum in front of a surgeon". I said our son does not understand titles and that he is out sons granddad, he doesn't understand about him being a surgeon. Partner just repeats that he's a surgeon.
When I spoke with partner's dad, he had nomissues with child touching his bum. It was completely my partner's issue.

I was struggling carrying a load of stuff earlier when taking son to bed and kept dropping things...partner didn't help. I said something along the lines of "I'm trying to carry too much as usual" and he told me to stop moaning about everything I do, if he had to listen to me loan about everything I do, it'd be a miserable life...he constantly moans, he literally opens his eyes and gives me a running commentary of his sleep..."I got 5 hours sleep, I woke at 3am with pain, then again at 6am, etc etc" every single day. Never good morning or how are you.
Anyway, I said to him you're welcome to help me and he said you only work 3 days a week (his choice but throws it at me if I aks for help). He said I spent 4 years studying (35 years ago) so I can have an easy life bad don't have to do things. I earn more than you.

Also, bought Some lights for the garden that you stick in the ground. I was so excited about my new lights. He told me he had switched them off because they are light pollution and he wouldn't go in the garden if they are on (he doesn't go in the garden in the evening).
I have a few new lights (I'll attach a pic so you can honestly tell me if they're an issue). Just now he was fumbing around asking how to switch them off. I thought he was joking. He said no, he wants them off. I said not to worry today, it's pouring with rain and surely they can't be cahsing him an issue. He said they are ridiculous, too bright and he doesn't want to sit in the garden as everyone will be able to see him. They are literally 4 dim lights.
So now all my garden lights have to go off. I feel every single bit of joy has to be taken.
These are just today's examples, everyday I have more.

Am I being unreasonable? Was my chd really disgusting and I'm not appreciatinv it? Are my lights really that bad and causinight pollution? He is so authoritative/shouts/belittling that I'm questioning myself.

Is he right? Am I unreasonable?
OP posts:
vodkaredbullgirl · 10/07/2023 23:33

You know what you should do, please try and leave.

Sunnydaysarentagiveneveninjuly · 10/07/2023 23:33

Get yourself and your dc the fuck away from that abusive bastard...

Ifonlyicouldseethelight · 10/07/2023 23:34

Just to add with the lights example. I have long learnt we can not discuss anything. He gets angry and nasty but I feel like he antagonises me. For instance, I just agreed with him and said ok we can switch them off tomorrow and he kept going on about how they will ruin the garden for him, are ridiculous. I said ok, I understand what you're saying and we can switch them off and he continued on and on.

OP posts:
clockwatcher247 · 10/07/2023 23:47

Time to leave. He's already knocked your confidence enough that you have to question what's right. Of course he's being unreasonable in all of today's scenarios. Believe me, from experience, it will get worse. Leaving a narcissist isn't easy because they'll play with your emotions. Took me about four attempts and even when you achieve it, you have to be resilient and stick to your guns. You and your son deserve better and happiness. Please don't continue to put up with this sh!t

ChrisTrepidation · 11/07/2023 06:20

He is abusing your son and abusing you.

Your son will end up badly emotionally damaged if you stay with this man.

Leave him.

LightSpeeds · 11/07/2023 06:28

You need to leave and protect your son.

TakeMe2Insanity · 11/07/2023 06:29

Cure the issue not the symptoms. Definitely time for you to leave him, for your ds and your health.

Chewbaccaslime · 11/07/2023 06:31

Please leave him.

Oldnamechangeyetagain · 11/07/2023 06:33

ChrisTrepidation · 11/07/2023 06:20

He is abusing your son and abusing you.

Your son will end up badly emotionally damaged if you stay with this man.

Leave him.

This.

TheCheeseTray · 11/07/2023 06:39

why don’t you make an appointment with a solicitor today

why don’t you get some abuse counselling without him present - don’t tell him and he doesn’t come. Never do counselling with an abuser

think of a beautiful little house with lights in the garden, calm and peaceful and yourself very happy and your son happy and thriving at school and coming home to a loving environment. Think of him learning to enjoy helping eg you drop something or you saying can you carry this and this face beaming with joy and big hugs

my father is a high up politician type - think MP my entire childhood was shouting and as you describe. My mother accepted him and it as ‘norm’ and even started doing the same - although I have 3 degrees I am and will never be successful - ever. It’s taken 2 long years of counselling to leave my childhood behind - the scars are there. My whole garden has fairy lights and it’s magical - they are completely enclosed by the fence yet all 4 neighbours whose gardens backed on to me asked where and how I got them - I was mortified and said oh my goodness apologies they are on a timer I’m so sorry they are really for the dogs to go for a wee - oh no they said we want the same for our garden.

Please don’t doubt yourself - ever. He has worn you down and you must leave - you can do it.

Watchkeys · 11/07/2023 06:58

It's not about being right. There is no right. How could something be right or wrong, unless it was illegal? What rules do you think it could be right or wrong, according to? There are no rules, @Ifonlyicouldseethelight .

This problem (not the lights, but about the relationship) is all about you. Everything in your life is all about you. There are arseholes and pricks and abusive twats all over the world, and yes, what they do is all kinds of damaging. But the reason you have one in your life is because you accept him.

Just to be clear, before the 'victim blaming' crew step in: what he is doing is horrible. He is being hugely irresponsible with your 4 year old, in a way that will damage him for life, if something doesn't change. He is abusive, and ideally would be put away in solitary confinement where he can't damage anybody else. But there is no law against making someone miserable. There is no law against deciding to tell your child they are naughty. There is no law against anything that he's doing, unless he becomes violent or starts taking your money etc. There is no law against having a horrible personality, or putting other people down, or removing all the fun from their life, because ultimately, if someone behaves in that way towards us, we can walk away. It is our responsibility to not be around them.

If someone says that you are unreasonable, that's up to them. Do you think you're being unreasonable? If someone says you are made of custard, do you believe them, or do you think they're a lunatic? What's the difference? The difference is that you do not know who you are. You know what you're made of, so you can roll your eyes at the person who thinks you're made of custard. You can laugh at them, or have sympathy for them, but you wouldn't be here, torturing yourself and looking for others' opinions about what you're made of.

Do you think you're being unreasonable? Is there an indignant voice inside you saying 'But I've done nothing wrong?! Other people have garden lights, why shouldn't I? I'm a reasonable person, and this is a reasonable thing to want!!'?

millymollymoomoo · 11/07/2023 07:05

He’s vile
you need to leave

btw have you checked you child for worms ?

Sparklfairy · 11/07/2023 07:07

I feel every single bit of joy has to be taken.

This is so sad to read. Do you really want the rest of your life to be like this?

ZekeZeke · 11/07/2023 07:10

H is an abusive ass.
Why are you discussing anything with your FIL?

StopStartStop · 11/07/2023 07:12

Sunnydaysarentagiveneveninjuly · 10/07/2023 23:33

Get yourself and your dc the fuck away from that abusive bastard...

Very well put. Do this, OP.

Imogensmumma · 11/07/2023 07:13

Yikes … so why are you with him? Your home is meant to be you and your DS’s sanctuary and it sounds like a prison. Life is way to short to spend it with a dickhead

BanditsOnTheHorizon · 11/07/2023 07:13

Leave, speak to women aid, is there anyone you can live with for a while.?

LittleEsme · 11/07/2023 07:14

TheCheeseTray · 11/07/2023 06:39

why don’t you make an appointment with a solicitor today

why don’t you get some abuse counselling without him present - don’t tell him and he doesn’t come. Never do counselling with an abuser

think of a beautiful little house with lights in the garden, calm and peaceful and yourself very happy and your son happy and thriving at school and coming home to a loving environment. Think of him learning to enjoy helping eg you drop something or you saying can you carry this and this face beaming with joy and big hugs

my father is a high up politician type - think MP my entire childhood was shouting and as you describe. My mother accepted him and it as ‘norm’ and even started doing the same - although I have 3 degrees I am and will never be successful - ever. It’s taken 2 long years of counselling to leave my childhood behind - the scars are there. My whole garden has fairy lights and it’s magical - they are completely enclosed by the fence yet all 4 neighbours whose gardens backed on to me asked where and how I got them - I was mortified and said oh my goodness apologies they are on a timer I’m so sorry they are really for the dogs to go for a wee - oh no they said we want the same for our garden.

Please don’t doubt yourself - ever. He has worn you down and you must leave - you can do it.

Flowers
Floofydawg · 11/07/2023 07:19

Agree with everyone else - leave him. That's no way to live.

SpringleDingle · 11/07/2023 07:20

Definitely leave this abusive arsehole!

NotaCFDclue · 11/07/2023 07:24

This sounds miserable, I’m so sorry he’s so unkind.

I will say though that I agree outside lights shouldn’t be on in back garden unless you’re sitting out there. But that should be a conversation between you , not a lecture

arethereanyleftatall · 11/07/2023 07:25

Op, I'm afraid to anyone reading this - it doesn't make sense. You have described a vile abusive horrible man who bullies not only you, but also your four year old child. Of course Yanbu. And at no point in your op do you mention that you're leaving him. Can you tell us why not, so we can support you through what you need to do to leave him?

Dullardmullard · 11/07/2023 07:35

First off make sure he can’t access this thread and log out every time.

second leave quietly do not tell him

third go to a refuge, talk to woman’s aid and report him with their help.

it may take a few goes but please do this for your son.

Ofcourseshecan · 11/07/2023 07:39

think of a beautiful little house with lights in the garden, calm and peaceful and yourself very happy and your son happy and thriving at school and coming home to a loving environment.

Think of this, OP. You’ll never be happy with your miserable husband. Your son will grow up frightened and unhappy.

Money may be tight when you leave, but the burden will be immediately lifted and you and DS will be immeasurably better off.

Limer · 11/07/2023 07:46

Your first sentence, Living with an abusive narcissist is finally taking its toll

You already know what he is, you already know what the future will look like for you and your son. You should have left years ago, leave now.

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