Living with an abusive narcissist is finally taking its toll. I'm at the stage I think I need medication to cope with daily life. Every single interaction is stressful and presumably intended to destroy and belittle me.
Just today for instance, some incidents...
- 4 year old son was scratching his bum over his pants. Important to note- this is not a regular thing. Son had complained of a sore/itchy bum earlier in the day and had had 3 poos that day (is on laxido). Partner sees this, grabs son saying he's disgusting and naughty. Son start crying, partner drags him (didn't hurt him but took him by the arm) to downstairs toilet repeatedly saying he's naughty and dirty, needs to wash his hands. I knew that getting involved wouldn't end well but it upset me. I went into he bathroom and just said please don't keep calling him naughty, he's only 4. His bum is sore and itchy. Obviously he needs to wash his hands but he's not naughty. Partner was forcing child's hands under sink then shouting at me repeatedly saying that he is naughty, it's dirty, naughty. He then shouts at me and says "he just sctrached his bum in front of a surgeon". I said our son does not understand titles and that he is out sons granddad, he doesn't understand about him being a surgeon. Partner just repeats that he's a surgeon.
When I spoke with partner's dad, he had nomissues with child touching his bum. It was completely my partner's issue.
I was struggling carrying a load of stuff earlier when taking son to bed and kept dropping things...partner didn't help. I said something along the lines of "I'm trying to carry too much as usual" and he told me to stop moaning about everything I do, if he had to listen to me loan about everything I do, it'd be a miserable life...he constantly moans, he literally opens his eyes and gives me a running commentary of his sleep..."I got 5 hours sleep, I woke at 3am with pain, then again at 6am, etc etc" every single day. Never good morning or how are you.
Anyway, I said to him you're welcome to help me and he said you only work 3 days a week (his choice but throws it at me if I aks for help). He said I spent 4 years studying (35 years ago) so I can have an easy life bad don't have to do things. I earn more than you.
Also, bought Some lights for the garden that you stick in the ground. I was so excited about my new lights. He told me he had switched them off because they are light pollution and he wouldn't go in the garden if they are on (he doesn't go in the garden in the evening).
I have a few new lights (I'll attach a pic so you can honestly tell me if they're an issue). Just now he was fumbing around asking how to switch them off. I thought he was joking. He said no, he wants them off. I said not to worry today, it's pouring with rain and surely they can't be cahsing him an issue. He said they are ridiculous, too bright and he doesn't want to sit in the garden as everyone will be able to see him. They are literally 4 dim lights.
So now all my garden lights have to go off. I feel every single bit of joy has to be taken.
These are just today's examples, everyday I have more.
Am I being unreasonable? Was my chd really disgusting and I'm not appreciatinv it? Are my lights really that bad and causinight pollution? He is so authoritative/shouts/belittling that I'm questioning myself.