Need help encouraging my boyfriend to feel less bored with life

[clickyourfeet]

My boyfriend is currently working full-time in a retail job he hates (with no consecutive days off) but he can’t afford to leave, while studying a masters full-time online. He has tried to apply for other jobs but hasn’t been successful, and is now taking the time to build his portfolio for future employers in his field.

He says he’s happy with every other aspect of his life except his employment but often complains about being bored. I try to reassure him that this is only temporary and remind him of the things we have to look forward to but they have no real bearing. We’re both in our mid twenties and are moving to Dubai next year so we really do have a look to look forward to but it’s harder for him to realise this as it seems so out of reach.

I’ve decided to make him a “How to Cure Boredom” bag with suggestions inside:

1. Book for Bored Adults (suggestions on how to fix boredom)
2. Adult colouring book with markers
3. Whale crochetting kit
4. Madras spices with recipe
5. Yoyo 🪀
6. Breathing and mediation guide
7. 1 month work of mindfulness journaling
8. 101 awful jokes (one liners but bad one liners)
9. Face mask and bubble bath (to encourage a self care spa day)
10. Mason jar with solo activites for boredom
11. Mason jar with date night suggestions

The idea behind it was he would develop some new skills i.e. cooking, crochetting, mindfulness etc., and I know he may snub some of the contents and feel they’re a bit feminine!

Has anyone any suggestions? Ideally things I can stick in the bag.

Let me say I woke up and felt glad I posted this all here before I gave him the bag haha! We usually do paint and prosecco nights together with a cheese board and these go down a treat, he finds them therapeutic and I’m an art therapist so I thought the colouring book might be an ok idea. I realize now he would probably never sit down to colour, and may absolutely laugh at the idea 🤣 the whale isn’t actually crochet but embroidery so I don’t know what’s worse.. so I probably won’t bother giving him the “girly” gifts. I may just give him the book, a bit of chocolate (can’t go wrong with this) and plan two dates. We wants to go to seaweed baths together and enjoys movies so my plan is a seaweed bath and cinema.

Does he find sex boring?
Try more of that as a solution for his problem.
😉😁😁😁

He doesn’t but I have a higher sex drive than him. I don’t think we can have any more than we do (not saying we have a lot) but he gets satisfied more easily and quickly than I.

I think the activities in your bag are good for anxiety and filling up spare time with something other than worrying, but not good for boredom which I think here is a way of expressing stress and monotony. When I’ve been in that stress-and-monotony space, it’s been because I haven’t had time for anything exciting or novel. A kindle for good books and the occasional bike ride have been my way of fitting in a little bit of what I need.

Your latest update makes me
wonder what on earth you see in him? Your boredom bag is something more suiting for someone housebound or ill, not for anyone I'd want to have sex with 🤣🤣

@clickyourfeet jesus you’ve picked a bad day on here for this it appears.

if my chap made me something like this I’d love it.

He takes me on picnics, sends me off to the spa or for a massage, he does all sorts of things to perk me up if I’m stressed or having a crap time with life. He’ll buy me silly little things he knows I’ll laugh at or enjoy.

How dare he show his partner he appreciates her right? How dare he try to make me feel better.

crack on with what you’re doing.

OP,
There are always factory jobs? I've met so many interesting people whilst doing factory shifts which can be 4 on 4 off, or Monday to Friday, you can't catch up with single days off, so I understand his frustration. I think it's important he understands his own mental health needs, which it seems are being misidentified, as previously suggested.
It sounds like you are trying to proactively think outside the box in order to help him which is ideal, if reciprocated over time.
Huge plans! Fantastic, always great to hear from people who are building towards a bright future.
🤩

This is so weird, it reads like you’re the mum and he’s a toddler. He is an adult!!! And this would massively give me the ick. And as my mum used to say - only boring people get bored

The idea of the whale crochetting (actually embriodery) was more a piss take to show him there’s a lot more boring things in the world. It was only £4! It wasn’t a serious gift for him to actually do but more so, if you think you’re bored.. try something even more boring to make him realise it could be worse!

He hates sports and anything sporty so it limits out a good chunk. Gigs are far away from where we live and there’s no real events on in our town like so. We do have trips away but are saving for a bigger move so they’re not so frequent

The colouring book was serious though. I hold my hands up to that🤣

Are you a child entertainer?

You’re acting like his mum, and the sex is disappointing?

You’ve got problems a colouring book won’t cure.